Gina Ford - please don't flame me yet.....

[CupcakesHay]

I'm just wondering if anyone who has used Gina Ford can give me some advice - whether it works, or doesn't. how you found it, etc.

I'm thinking of trying it (yes, i know - it's obvious, i'm a first time mum, etc) - but I would like to make more of an informed decision about it, from people who have actually tried it.

I've done a bit of a search on MN - and realise a lot of MNers don't like it - but i'd like to hear from anyone who has used the routine or tried it and not got on with it - whether positive or negative - as when I was reading it, I'm quite drawn to it - even though it looks like it'll take a lot of work!

Luckily don't have any friends, so I can cope with the never going out & seeing anyone routine!

My book arrived today and I already know I cant do at as described. For instance, my baby sleeps in his pram instantly, so I can only put him in it during her sleeping times. Which means I can only go out when she says so.

My baby is also being nursed to sleep even as I write this because I love it and dont think its as wrong as she says.

Some bits look interesting, so I might use those and see what works for us and what doesnt. Lots of my friends have had good luck with it.

DD was EBF for the first 4 months, then mix fed until 6 months, now at 6 months we FF with the exception of one night feed. For me the feeding method determined whether or not she would follow a routine.

I didn't try the Gina Ford routines but I did repeatedly try to introduce an E.A.S.Y (eat, activity, sleep, you) routine for DD. She resisted all attempts to impose any sort of routine for the first 4 months and then settled into a 2-3 hour feeding routine but refused naps.

From 3 months we did successfully manage to introduce a bedtime routine and DD now always goes to bed at 7pm.

However it is only now that she is predominately FF that she will follow a regular feeding and nap routine although it is still a bit hit and miss.

In my experience on demand EBF does not really lend itself to routines and you are better off following your baby's lead.

However that is only my experience and I do know other people who have EBF and their babies have settled in 3-4 hour routines within the first 8-12 weeks.

There are no right and wrongs with parenting (as long as you are not being neglectful) the worst that can happen is that you will try the routines and they won't work. I would say follow the book but do so with an open mind then if it doesn't work you won't be too disappointed.

I found it helpful as a first time mum, but I don't follow it to the letter (or even close tbh), I just kind of let DS drift in and out of the routines.

For me it was useful because it helped me realise the basics of looking after a new baby more quickly than I would have done without (if that makes sense).... for example, it made me consciously look for signs of tiredness after a couple of hours rather than waiting until DS was screaming tired. I've also always put him to bed at 7 (although by no means always after a bath!) and by 9 weeks he was sleeping 12 hours. It's entirely possible that this is by luck rather than judgement though. Good luck!

We tried GF but see I like to have a life and my LO was always happier on the days that we got out and about rather than the days we stayed home and slavishly tried for consistent lunchtime naps etc so as with many things we took from it what worked for us.

IMO GF is just too rigid but lots of things about it do work. As a result of reading GF I did make sure that we got out of bed from the get-go at a sensible time each morning (7.30 am for us) rather than staying in bed until 9 or later and we had a good night-time routine (the latter undoubtedly assisted by the former) which also gave DH and I some time to ourselves in the evening. Other things were also useful.

My LO adopted a rough and ready routine all by himself so generally a morning, lunchtime and afternoon nap at roughly consistent times but NOT of consistent lengths. Lengths seemed to depend on where we were/what we were doing. He is pretty good about sleeping where he needs to which is so not GF.

A friend of mine did GF to the letter. Life was undoubtedly easy for her - her lo was in a very good routine from about 1 week(!) but both she and LO (IMO) are a slave to the routine - she still (8 months) can't go anywhere or do anything that does not fit with the routine and her LO is miserable at any minor break with the routine (ie if food is 5 minutes late or if she is not at home on the dot of noon to pop him in his cot for the lunchtime nap). On the other hand she has never been late for dinner when we have had a rare evening out whereas I have! A lot depends on you. A strict routine is fine for my friend but it would not work for me - luckly we both seem to have got the babies we need!

I tried it with DC1 (now 15 weeks). I decided that,knowing the sort of person I am, I needed to start with some sort of routine, even if we ended up deviating from it. DD fit into it really well - GF was spot on when it came to naptimes in particular. And I needed to have a structure to the day - the birth had been difficult and it took some time for me to recover phsyically and emotionally (had infections and my tears opened up) and knowing I had a structure helped save my sanity. As my confidence as a mum has grown and as DD's particular needs have made themselves clear (she has some gastric problems so we need to feed smaller amounts more frequently) we're more flexible with the routine now, but we still stick to the basics. I think it depends on you and, importantly, your baby. DD has slept through the night from 9.5 weeks - whether this is the GF routine or she would have anyway, who knows?? As for the "hard work" aspect of the GF routine - well it seems that babies are hard work full stop and have a HUGE impact on your life whether you have a routine or not! If it appeals to you, go for it, keep an open mind, and see how it goes. I think GF gets a bad press frompeoplewho think she is saying that following the routine is more important that following your child's needs. But that's not what she's saying at all. Good luck!

Oh oh... what Aussieng said! I wouldn't miss a trip out just to make sure DS was in bed during the day. If we're at home, I try to encourage him to have a long nap at lunchtime but that's as far as it goes.

One other thing I just thought of... some of the feeds in the routines are spaced very far apart, too far apart for my LO even now at 16 weeks. In the early days I sometimes waited too long to feed him because I didn't believe he could be hungry only an hour after the last feed, as a result of reading this book. I feel like a twonk now but I'm sure you won't make tht mistake.

Thank you for the advice - i think i'm going to give it a try, but like you say, depends on baby, and I can't see me sticking to it 100% no matter how much i'd like to. I def like the bedtime routine bit. But i don't like the idea that if you deviate from the routine your baby won't cope....

I did GF with DS1, who is now 8. I am the sort of person who likes routines and he is too, so it worked really well. With DS2 2 years later it didn't work as well, but he has a very different personality. By the time I had DD 2 years later again I didn't have time to read books

Before I had my first child I remember reading GF and thinking that I would definitely do it. I remember telling a few of my colleagues at work about it and them smiling and nodding at me. They were parents and knew how it would go!

In the early days I found it really stressful, as DS just wouldn't do what the book said he'd do. Then, I started to doubt my ability as a mother. I remember fiendishly writing things down and having endless discussions with DH about how to get DS to sleep and eat when he was supposed to.

After a while I ditched the approach and just went with the flow, and since then I've followed the "trust my own instincts" approach to parenting. I think that following something like GF (or indeed, any of the "experts") prevents you from using your own gut instinct and your knowledge of your own child. One size doesn't fit all, after all.

Be confident in your ability to look after your baby.

If you want to breastfeed then following a routine is quite difficult, I think, in that the natural urge is to feed on demand, and babies don't want to go 4 hours between feeds when they are tiny!

You can't go wrong if you follow your gut instinct, and do what you feel is right for your baby. Good luck!

A couple of friends and I all did it. We really liked it 9(followed it about 80% I reckon, adjusting it). I did it because I had a very demanding baby and he really seemed more settled on a routine. However, as it is controversial we were all very discreet about doing Gina Ford, we didn't tell many people as lots of people are very judgemental about it. It does work for both FF and BF babies. But you definitely have to be the sort of person who likes a routine. It is much harder ( I would say close to impossible) to do with 2nd babies, as you can't just stay home so that they can have their nap.

You have to decide, depending on what type of mother you think you are. As you can see above, there are some people who were stressed by GF routines whereas for me, it made me felt a bit more in control of my life.

Also interestingly, when I first flipped through Gina Ford's book in a bookshop while pg, I was convinced it was overly scheduled and would definitely not be right for me and my baby. I was sure I'd be a go-with-the-flow kind of mother.

I read the book, but there was no way my baby could do it - couldn't stay awake long enough and couldn't have that few feeds. Seemed more hassle than it was worth.

By 4 months he'd settled into his own routine anyway, which is closer to GF's routine for two weeks olds He still can't go three hours between feeds.

I too enjoyed going out and being able to be spontaneous about staying somewhere for dinner etc - that's the best thing about breastfeeding, little need for forward planning.

Hi I'm interested in this too as I'm pretty obsessive about routine and structure! Re the comment about babies not coping when the routine is changed, I have seen real evidence of this with relatives and it can cause massive inconvenience to others if you are planning a family get together etc as the times have to fit around your baby. Can come across as a bit selfish! Also what do you do if there are 2 babies with 2 conflicting routines!

I think as others have said I am keen to stick to a morning routine of getting up at the same time and a bedtime routine. However, I do intend to feed on demand in between times and be a bit flexible around nap times and locations.

Having read some of the other threads on here I think it's clear that our pregnancy planning is quite often very different from the reality!

I 'mixed' the baby whispere and GF. Worked a treat for me, but they ARE all different!

I found it really helpful as a guide. After a few weeks I started working towards the nap times she recommends and then I found that the feeds started to slot into place pretty much on the timings she suggested, so by 6 weeks or so we were in a v predictable routine which was great for all of us. I did adjust it to suit my children though - e.g. all 3 of mine always needed a feed pre bath time and then another after bath before bed right up until they were established on a solid tea well past 6 months old (whereas GF drops this feed for some reason) and I never got on with the 'dream feed' (I'm skeptical that it is possible to dream feed a bf baby!). All mine became great nappers and slept through early at night and although I know that has a lot to do with plain luck, I do think that the predictable daytime routine ensuring that they got enough decent feeds and naps helped.

If you're wanting to introduce a bedtime routine, then The No Cry Sleep Solution has some really good advice. It also has a short section at the beginning with some basic information on how sleep cycles work etc at different ages which I found really interesting (and helpful) and incorporates this into how to create a really relaxing bedtime routine, which can also be as flexible as suits you - from really strict to something which takes 5 minutes and can be done anywhere, any time and is just a cue for sleep.

The problem with scheduled feeds for newborns in general is that if you're breastfeeding you need to let them feed as much as possible to get your supply going, and then let them regulate their own feeds as firstly you don't know how much they have had so you can't confidently say "He can go 4 hours now" and also they change their feeding patterns in line with growth spurts etc, feeding more just before one to "up" your supply, and it can throw a routine out.

If you're wanting the predictability aspect then I'd wait until about 6 weeks or whenever you feel breastfeeding is established, and then start to note down when your baby feeds, sleeps and needs a nappy change, and you might start to see a pattern emerge.

HTH :)

IME, if you are planning to breastfeed, GF won't work.

I wanted to follow her but quickly realised there was no WAY my newborn would adhere to her schedule. I don't doubt that it works for a FF baby, but as others have said, breast-feeding just doesn't fit into a schedule in the early days. It lends itself to a 'go with the flow' mentality - when the baby is hungry, feed it. I didn't want to 'go with the flow' until I realiased that was by far the easiest and most enjoyable thing to do. By 3 or 4 months my baby had found a routine (as thye can go longer bewteen feeds then).

My DD is 12 weeks old.
I have the book and found the first 5 chapters really useful to read before she was born. Was she arrived and I looked at the routine on about day 5 I burst out laughing, there was just no way that was ever going to happen!!!

At since about 5 weeks she has had a very consitent bed time routine. She's in bed by 7pm and she settles herself to sleep. Has a feed at 10:30-11pm and for the last 2 weeks has slept through til 7. The night time routine is great as it means DH and I get some time together.

Daytime though we don't have a routine really. We have things to do at different times each day. If we were sticking to GF we wouldn't be doing our baby massage class, or postnatal group as she would be napping. I find that she is as flexible as I am. Today we weren't out in the morning and she had a long nap at about 10:30 (the previous 2 days she was wide awake and taking in the world cos we were out and about). On those previous 2 days when we got in at about 12:30 she then went to sleep.

Having said all of that she does pretty much feed when GF says and she does tend to have a short nap in the morning and afternoon with a longer one at lunch time

I should add that you don't need GF to get your baby to sleep through. My DD slept through at 12 weeks and has ever since (is now 6 months).

It worked very well for me when my second child was born. It helped enormously to know that there was going to be predictable time that I could spend with my first child every day, and it also meant that we had our evenings to ourselves (which I think is v important). I didn't stick entirely rigidly to GF, but I certainly used it as the basis for our routine and found it worked very, very well. I did bottle feed, which might have made a difference?

My DD is 6.5 months now. She is a wonderful baby but a difficult sleeper. From 4 months until the time that we put her on GF (6 months) she was waking between 6-10 times a night and very rarely napped during the day. I was exhausted and as a last resort I got a GF book from the library. I wish I'd done it earlier now. After about a week of sticking to the routine DD started to take 3 naps a day (short ones, but still...) and has been sleeping for between 10-12 hours a night (I've re-introduced a Dream Feed at 10.15pm).

I wish I hadn't been so judgmental about GF in the past. She's only offering advice - & you don't HAVE to do the routine just because you buy the book. I agree that it can be quite restrictive but I'm at the point where I value sleep more that socialising! GF has saved my sanity! :)

Yes agree with MamaMary - I did everything "wrong" - fed to sleep, co-slept, and DS slept through at 7 weeks. Not going to go on whether it lasted or not... TBH I have loads of friends with non sleeping toddlers whether they did routines in the beginning or not!

All my friends who've used GF have ended up mix feeding. All my friends who wanted to continue EBF have dropped GF. I had babies a few years after my friends, noticed this pattern, wanted to EBF, so didn't use GF.

I'm not saying that its impossible to EBF and follow GF, but I do think it makes it seem normal for babies to (just one example) start sleeping through the night while quite young, when actually its the amount of sleep they get in 24 hours that matters, and its unnatural for many babies to sleep for 8 hours.

I think as long as you are happy to deviate freely, its unlikely to do you or the baby and harm however, and I can understand why people who are very routine-focused, or have to get back to work quickly, are tempted towards it.

I'm curious - I have a GF book out of the library at the moment and it has a lot of case studies in it where she identifies the problem of each baby not sleeping. Many say "wrong solid food" (4-8 months ish). What food does she suggest?

Did anyone who tried GF express milk and then use that for feeding? or did you do it all from the breast?

I was lent the book by my sister but didn't follow it - the one thing I did try to do was try to manage her morning nap - involving waking her when GF said she had to be up.

This is madness. You'll be knackered. If the baby is napping, put your feet up and have a cup of tea until s/he wakes. That's your time! Don't cut it short.

Also google mother and baby activities in your area and go to them! Baby song, baby massage, all that jazz. Having a focus to your day makes it all much easier and adult conversation is glorious. And if you're in a rigid routine you won't be able to go.

Ooh - and take them for a walk if it's mild, they fall straight asleep.