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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Can I ask a question to those who bf in public?

49 replies

HenriettaPeck · 13/01/2011 21:42

Do you mind if people look at you when you are doing it? It's just that I always want to look because it's one of the most beautiful things ever, but I worry if I glance over what the mother might think, I'd be gutted if she thought i was being one of thoso horrible judgey people. I never managed to bf mine either so I'm a tad jealous too.

OP posts:

mjovertherainbow · 13/01/2011 22:11

This reply has been deleted

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duckymum · 13/01/2011 22:22

Don't mind. I have a hard stare stored up for anyone who looks too much / makes any comment, but haven't needed to use it.

scotlass · 13/01/2011 22:29

I didn't mind at all

Even had a conversation with some business men once in a hotel lobby when one said aww look at that fast asleep! Think another one clicked DS was feeding and got his mates attention back!

I like to think I was quite discreet

browneyesblue · 13/01/2011 22:40

I don't mind, and a smile means that there is no confusion.

I was bf once at a service station. I had just come from a christening, so was wearing something that left me feeling a little more exposed than I'd like (was new to bf, so hadn't planned outfit very well).

I sat in a quiet outside area of the coffee shop (was lovely - by the water) and an older man walked by me while I was feeding. He didn't notice, but the lady who followed him shortly afterwards and joined him at his table did - she did big double-take. In my paraniod newly bf state I wondered whether she was silently disapproving.

It was lovely therefore when I left to go back to the car and she started a friendly little chat with me on my way by (he's lovely, what's his name, etc). Helped me feel more relaxed in future. Maybe she deliberately took the time to be friendly so I'd know she wasn't being judgey

AngelDog · 13/01/2011 23:18

I agree, a smile is always welcome. I'd be happy for people to make eye contact, although I probably wouldn't seek it out myself IYSWIM, especially if DS is being distractible.

Tryharder · 13/01/2011 23:20

1 went to see a bfc at my local hospital regarding thrush when DS2 was about a year old. The BFC made me bf him in the middle of the antenatal clinic so as to apparently inspire all the pregnant mums.... Luckily I don't mind bf in public . I have only ever had nice comments from people.

eaglewings · 13/01/2011 23:25

I used to love it, had to smile though when the Bishop stroked ds's head while I was feeding!

YankNCock · 13/01/2011 23:43

What others have said, if you smile and have a chat, I am so relieved. It's when they keep looking back at you but aren't smiling that you start to worry you might have a judger on your hands.

redandyellowandpinkandgreen · 14/01/2011 08:41

I'm a bit paranoid that everyone is disapproving so a smile and a chat would be lovely. I was feeding DS in front of my elderly aunts and trying to cover us up as best as I could so as not to offend and they said 'oh don't do that for us, you go ahead, it's lovely dear'. That's made me really happy . They are old school and for some reason I thought they would have a problem. I should stop assuming everyone will have a problem!

legallyblond · 14/01/2011 09:30

A smile would make me not mind... unless OP is a leery old man! I was once bf in Costa and a lovely lady smiled at me and said "you are doing such a grand job for your daughter there - stick with it!" Bliss!!!

5DollarShake · 14/01/2011 09:32

Din't mind at all - far prefer it to someone studiously ignoring me, all awkward and uncomfortable!

hidegoseek · 14/01/2011 09:35

I don't mind as long as you don't have a disapproving look on your face. Must confess I prefer it if people don't have a chat as DD is at the distractable phase so turns to look at anyone new, generally trying to take my nipple with her which is a bit painful.

Have had some people look over desperately trying not to laugh as DD has the worse table manners going sounding like a blocked drain whilst whacking me with one arm and kicking both legs like she trying to do the can can

WoTmania · 14/01/2011 09:58

I don't mind people looking at me. Helps if they smile though rather htan glaring. I smile back whatever they do
I hhave been know to go and sit and chat to obviously new mums trying to BF in public and looking all worried/self-conscious who are sitting on their own. I think they are the ones people will have a go at because they look like 'easy' targets iyswim

NinkyNonker · 14/01/2011 13:36

Ditto on the distractable dd, she would try to turn and give you a milky smile, taking nipple with her. Little blighter darling. But even then, I'd still actually rather you came and chatted if you wanted to instead of feeling you can't or should look away. With mine there is always a distraction and always another feed!

VeronicaCake · 14/01/2011 13:57

MrsFC I also didn't like guests coming over and peering in close when I was feeding DD at home in the early days. I think that is different though. I've never had anything remotely like that happen in public.

Rugbylovingmum · 14/01/2011 14:29

I didn't mind once I had the hang of breast feeding in public. At first I was a bit tense/nervous and DD seemed to sense it and would wriggle around and take ages to latch on while I felt all exposed and self-conscious. Luckily I found that most people can tell when you feel uncomfortable - my probably gave it away - and will look away and of course it didn't take long for us both to become pro's . After that first couple of weeks I didn't mind at all and had no problem with people coming over to chat.

Cosmosis · 14/01/2011 16:32

I like it (assuming it's not done with a face of disgust!)

lexxity · 14/01/2011 23:43

I don't mind at all. Pop over for a chat if you want too.

Teenytiny · 16/01/2011 02:07

No i think its nice if you give them a nice friendly smile.

I used to get paranoid if peoplelooked cos so many people are quick to say something nasty. but its nice to see not everyone is like that x

SilverSky · 16/01/2011 02:27

Unfortunately I've been stared at twice, by women, and not a smile in sight. Once was in a family restaurant - yes family and I was very discreet but she couldn't help keep looking and I think was judgey. I was prepared to say something if necessary.

HelenLG · 16/01/2011 10:27

I am a guilty BF watcher...I have only ever seen one person do it outside of a baby group and was fascinated...which is silly cos I BF DS, just don't have the confidence to do it in public.

BaggedandTagged · 16/01/2011 10:44

I dont mind but I dont do it that often as DS doesnt feed well out of the house so it's often easier to give him a bottle of Expressed milk.

I once had a very smart old lady come up to my friend and I and say

"It's lovely to see you girls bf. Great that it's becoming so fashionable again"

Not sure what made me happier- her attitude or being called "girl" when I'm the wrong side of 35!

wolfhound · 16/01/2011 10:46

Don't mind at all, if it's in a friendly way.

Blatherskite · 16/01/2011 11:06

I never minded the smiles and the nice comments when we BF in public. Used to really cheer me up :)

We're finished now so I guess it'll be me giving the looks.

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