I'm not sure if this should be in feeding or sleep, but I'm really struggling now and have found this board super helpful in the past. This may get long, so sorry!
My baby is 5 months - I'm back to work in 6 weeks. She has been exclusively BF since birth, not without tears and struggles, but I was determined to do it and we got through a few difficulties in the early days. I'm really pleased it's gone so well. HOWEVER. We have 2 problems:
- she won't take a bottle. She has taken one, but the most she's ever drunk has been 3 oz, from me, about 3 months ago. Since then, she will take up to 2 oz from me once in a while - but since last week even that is now being refused.
- She takes the absolute vast majority of her calories at night, from 7 -5 in the morning. I think this is called reverse cycling? she'll have a snack once in a while in the day, and if/when I feed her to sleep for a nap she will feed a lot then, but she's basically taking most of her food at 1-2-hourly intervals in the night. To say that I am tired is an understatement.
I'm aware that lots of people do this co-sleeping, feeding lying down thing, and all is hunkydory. We co-sleep sort of, with a sidecar cot, but I've never mastered the lying down feeding thing, find it very stressful worrying about rolling onto her (esp now as I'm so very very tired), and she also has reflux so lying down is not the best option for her. So every hour/2hours at night, I drag myself up to sitting position, feed for 10-15 mins, burp and put back down. I'm bloody shattered.
Things we have triedfor problem 1): different teats; different temperatures of milk; me feeding; my partner feeding; nanny of DS (aged 2) feeding; different positions; distraction V cuddles; different times of day; different levels of hunger.
Things we have tried for problem 2): feeding for a little while a la No Cry Sleep Solution then gently removing nipple; someone else attempting to soothe her back to sleep instead of feeding; me attempting to soothe her back to sleep instead of feeding; encouraging feeding more during day (eg dark quiet room - easier said than done with toddler - nursing necklace, feed when just woken from nap, offer feed more often, offer feed less often, different positions, singing/talking to her when feeding). I can't think what else at the moment, but we've tried A LOT of things.
I should add this has been over a period of months - I don't mean I've been doing all this for the last two weeks or something mad!
I've sought advice from health visitor (starve her out with a bottle, then get partner to do a few night feeds; baby rice - neither of which appeals). Also from BF counsellors, who say oo that sounds tough, poor you, you should try feeding lying down - it passes. Nap when she naps during the day - oh you have a toddler? Hmm, that does sound tough. Less than helpful also. If it passes, when does it bloody pass? It's been going on well over 2 months now. Before she hit 3 months, she would sleep 6-9 hours at night, fed about once every 90 mins in the day, and all was fine and dandy.
I'm honestly a wreck. I don't know what to do - I'm coming round to drastic sleep training options, but will she just starve if I do that? She's not the heaviest baby in the world as it is, and we had problems with weight gain at the beginning, so I don't want to end up starving her.
ANY advice really welcome. I'm feeling so negative and miserable and frustrated with her when she won't feed during the day, it's really having an impact on the whole family as well. ANd my job is a stressful, high-intensity one that will not go well if I'm desperately sleep-deprived. Please please save me!