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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

BF'ing, bottle refusal and a night out........advice needed please

23 replies

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 11/01/2011 13:30

My DS is 9 weeks and refuses to take a bottle, have tried several types of teat, and have also tried a tommee tippee sippy cup but that i hold not him (thought he might be more responsive as less need to suck)

One of my closest friends who was really supportive and looked after me during my pregnancy has invited me on a night out for her birthday at the end of this month and i really want to go (not had any time without DS since he was born) Problem is what do i do about DS and feeding him?

Due to the location of the night out and DS's sleep patterns at night it is highly likely that DS would need feeding and i dont want him to get really upset if DP can't feed him

Any thoughts you wise mummys? i am already trying him on a bottle once a day to see if it will click (mainly because thats what happened with using a dummy, one day he just got it) but any other advice or annecdotes would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:

AngelDog · 11/01/2011 15:16

Have you tried your DP giving him a bottle when you're not around? Lots of babies won't take bottles from their mum.

Original poster

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 11/01/2011 15:24

Yeah we've tried that as well. Dp managed to give him 2 bottles when he was about 3 weeks old as i had to go back to hospital for scans. but since then DS has got v stubborn and just pushes the teats out with his tongue or screams the place down.

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IAmTheCookieMonster · 11/01/2011 15:28

My DS wouldn't take a bottle from DH, but DMIL who bottle fed her three managed to do it, I think it was just that she was more confident with it, from then on DS would take one from DH.

Is there anyone experienced with a bottle that could have a go?

Original poster

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 11/01/2011 16:19

My DH's DS1 was bottle fed, every 2 hours as well as he was early so DH has plenty of experience.

Will ask my mum to give it a go i think when she next comes for a visit. Both me and my sister and all my cousins were bottle fed so maybe mum remembers a little hint or trick or something. [clutching at straws emotion]

I think i've just got a stubborn little monkey on my hands

OP posts:

mawbroon · 11/01/2011 16:42

What type of night out is it?

I have been to a few nights out and just taken ds2 along with me. It saved me a lot of stessing.

Obviously it will depend on the type of night out! Baby in nightclub might not work very well

Original poster

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 12/01/2011 09:32

unfortunately mawbroon its supposed to be a girlie birthday night out to a gaybar / club, so perhaps not totally appropriate (although i did toy with the idea of DS in the sling )

DP is being lovely about it and said if i really want to go he doesn't mind holding down the fort if DS starts going mental; but i know i wouldnt relax and enjoy myself if im not positive that DP will be able to feed DS if he wakes up.

I'm going to invest in a breastflow bottle as IMO DS doesn't like having the teats on other bottles as they are quite long. Starting to panic about going back to work though as DS will have to use a bottle or a cup!

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grumpystressedoutmum · 13/01/2011 09:46

I am so relieved. My daughter is exactly the same. She's 16 weeks and was nearly 6 weeks early and took a bottle to start with but now won't go near it. I realise this isn't advice but knowing that its not just me is really reassuring

MummyElk · 13/01/2011 09:55

I think try the breastflow bottle (is that the same as a tommee tippee closer to nature? they are the only ones i've ever managed to get mine to have) and also try a doidy cup. and agree with getting DH to do it, even now my Dd won't always take a bottle from me...
I think you should go...DH sounds more than capable and happy to cope. Perhaps limit your expectations to being there for a couple of hours (just a couple drinks/meal perhaps) and then head home. DS might cry, he might go on strike till you get home, or he might cave under pressure and take the bottle
love the idea of him in a sling in the gaybar though...that IS taking babywearing to a new level

grumpystressedoutmum · 13/01/2011 19:21

Having read thoughts i have ordered breastflow bottle. It's due to come tomorrow so will let you know

Original poster

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 17/01/2011 14:56

Hi all,

So i took a little trip to TKMAXX and bought some breastflow bottles. DS hates them just screams and screams until i give in.

MummyElk, i had resigned myself to the fact i'd only be there for a couple of hours, but after speaking to my friend the other day it appears we wouldn't be going to the club until 9.30 - 10.00 ish. Unfortunately DS wakes up anywhere from 10.30 to 2.00 am for 1st feed after bedtime at 7.00. i did suggest drinks a bit earlier but other people are working so not feasible

GSOM, hope you have more luck than me

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KaraStarbuckThrace · 17/01/2011 17:40

What about trying a syringe? Squirt it into his cheek, not into the back of the throat.

Trillian42 · 17/01/2011 21:12

Breastflow bottles didn't work for us - found them weird to be honest. Eventually had some success with our original Dr Brown bottles - but DD is a lot older than your DS (7 months). I think perseverance is key, as well as being hungry and not having mum around!

Don't beat yourself up if you miss this deadline - keep trying! Good luck!

Original poster

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 18/01/2011 09:56

A syringe would work as he has his gaviscon that way, will float the idea to DP. The only worry i have is that DS is around 14llbs already so syringe would take ages to get him full and he's not a very patient monkey. Unless we could get like a comedy oversized syringe

I've basically realised my night out will probably be a no go; which isnt the end of the world, but starting to worry about going back to work. What if he continues to point blank refuse everything but the boob? Is it a case of toughing it out and letting him cry rather than giving in?

OP posts:

usernamechanged345 · 18/01/2011 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 18/01/2011 15:40

I'm not due back at work for quite a few months yet MrsP, i'm just a natural born worrier (already wondering how to afford to put DS through university if he wants to go lol). I think the worry is because i've tried a cup as well and he still wasn't impressed; I'm just hoping its because he's still relatively young.

I must say I'm a bit that no midwifes or HV's ever mentioned that a bf baby may refuse a bottle. So much info about babies not going back to the breast or a bottle affecting supply, but not a dicky bird about the other way round. (especially when it seems quite common). Although to be fair i feel like i've been completely mis - sold the idea of BF'ing, so the bottle issue is just another niggle.

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Trillian42 · 18/01/2011 16:12

I think a friend of mine had the perfect idea, though she hit on it by accident. Her partner wanted to share the load so she expressed from week 1 and he did the last feed of the night while she slept for a 6 hour stretch. So the baby had no problems taking a bottle, she got sleep & the feeding to sleep association never happened. I'm going to recommend it to anyone I know who plans to BF.

NovemberAli · 18/01/2011 16:34

I had the same problem, went and bought pretty much the whole range of bottles mothercare stock (DD, 17 weeks, had previously taken Avent fine but then sudden refusal).

Tried Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature, Breastflow and NUK and finally got some success with the NUK. Also I made sure the milk was nice and warm and the teat was warm before trying her with it.

I made a breakthrough when I fed her first, waited till she came off the breast and then popped the bottle in, she had a few sucks the first time and then I gradually built it up from there till she will now take it without me feeding her first.

Going to make sure I give her a bottle every few days now as going back to work in 6 weeks. Wishing you lots of luck

Original poster

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 18/01/2011 16:35

Thats what i mean Trillain, that to me sounds perfectly sensible, but being a first-timer i took advice from the midwife and HV and they both said that i should leave it until at least 4 weeks before expressing because LO would still be establishing my supply.
What they didn't say was there would be bugger all point expressing after that point as the only use the expressed milk would be getting is as sink and drain cleaner!!

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Petsville · 18/01/2011 21:22

Oh dear, no advice, but huge sympathy as we're going through the same thing (and, with hindsight, I wish I'd mixed fed from the beginning as this has caused huge stress for all of us that we don't need in the run-up to my going back to work. I like Trillian's idea of expressing for one feed a night, but couldn't have expressed enough early on for it to be possible). We've given in and are paying a maternity nurse to come in and try to crack this for us - I'll come back and post if it works and she has useful tips.

Original poster

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 19/01/2011 11:05

Oh petsville, really sorry you find yourself in this position as well. How old is your LO? What exactly does a maternity nurse do? I'm really dreading it getting to that stage
with my DS

NovemberAli, how long did it take before your DD took a bottle properly? I have tried that method but DS just gets so wound up and starts screaming and going bright red (it's like im torturing him rather than trying to feed him) was your DD ever that unhappy with the bottle?

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NovemberAli · 19/01/2011 13:16

It took a week before she would take a couple of ounces and I'm still offering her EBM every few days.

TBH I haven't actually left her and DP with a bottle yet, I don't know how she would be taking a full feed - I think it's too much like hard work for her as I have quite a forceful letdown, so normally she doesn't have to work for her milk .

Ironically for the first week we just fed her with EBM as she wouldn't latch on - I think I got complacent, thinking because she'd done it then it would never be a problem.

I guess just trying everyday when he's in a good mood and before he gets really hungry is my best advice. HTH

grumpystressedoutmum · 19/01/2011 19:57

Well, the breast flow bottle seems to have worked. Screamed for the first attempt, for my dad, and eventually spluttered her way through and ounce after 40 mins. Did the same for hubby but then took 4 ounces for me on Monday and since then has started taking fine. She is now getting once a day whether she likes it or not just to make sure she will. Keep persevering . A friend left her little one with her mum and made him go cold turkey while she expressed. After 7 hours of him shouting he eventually gave up and took a bottle and has been doing both since. Seems a bit extreme but it might work

Original poster

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 20/01/2011 12:40

Wow GSOM, thats brillaint news, although i am a little bit I'm trying him every day, but to no avail. He's probably worked out that i will give in if he screams long enough.

Not giving in and letting him scream was my HV's advice as well "he wont let himself starve" but its so heartbreaking when he gets himself so stressed out. I'd be terrible at controlled crying

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