How to stop breast feeding 13 mth old.

[KT78]

I want to stop breast feeding my 13 month old. I am four months pregnant, and tired. At the moment I feed her four hourly (ish) including through the night (more if she's upset and won't settle). She is very dependent on breast feeding to get to sleep and will cry persistently (sometimes for an hour or more) before I give in or she falls asleep (whichever comes first). I want to make this as easy for her as possible, and don't want it to be traumatic, but each time I try to drop a feed it sends her into a frenzy (partly I think because she's tired and needs it to get to sleep). She has never taken a bottle. Always refused. She drinks water from a cup, but refuses formula or cows milk (despite persistent offering). She has no attachment to any toys or blankets and sleeps most of the night in bed with me (which I don't mind as long as she isn't pestering me to feed). She eats well during the day and, other than this problem (mine, not hers) is a very contented, sociable little thing. I don't even think she's actually feeding most of the time, just sucking, as I think my milk is drying up. Any advice (except 'just leave her to cry/go cold turkey) gratefully received.

Hi KT78

A couple of suggestions. They're not about stopping all together straight away, and that's not because I'm trying to persuade you not to (although you may find if you stop some of the feeds you find it easier to carry on with others, but only you know how you feel) but just because it's the info I have!

Firstly, you could try night-weaning, a relatively gentle way for part-time or full-time co-sleepers, but not entirely without tears. Have a look at this link for Dr Jay's method:

drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

It worked for us, and remarkably quickly considered that DD1 was the most persistent child I'd ever met, although she was a few months older.

If you don't want to do that, do you have a DH/DP who would sleep next to her instead? That can sometimes lengthen the times between wake ups as the smell of milk isn't, literally, right under their nose!

Re: feeding to sleep, sometimes changing around the routine or location can help. Eg instead of bath, books, boob & sleep, try bath, feeding in a chair (instead of in bed), then someone else reading/singing/rocking to sleep. It may take a lot longer, but it would wean her off the breast/sleep association if that's what you need.

Hope some of that helps.

Good luck

Mx

Thanks so much Mij. That all sounds very sensible (and attemptable) advice - and the Dr Gordon stuff looks helpful too. Do have DH so will try passing her over to him for the best part of the night, like you say. K x

Meant to say we also used a Kidsleep clock for nightweaning (there are now other toddler clocks on the market) because even when she accepted that 'boobs are sleeping too now babe ' she would still wake and decide it was morning at 4am and could therefore ask for milk. It wasn't a quick solution, but we set the daytime picture to come on at the time she woke, and said she could ask for a feed when it was on, and then gradually moved it forwards by 15 minutes every few days til we got to around 6ish, which felt manageable!

We still use it now she's 4.5, as a 'you can come and wake us up now' clock, although as she can nearly tell the time I think we need to start using it for DD2!