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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I am embarrassed....

26 replies

AliGrylls · 09/01/2011 18:30

I was at a party this afternoon and feeding DS2 happily. My sister then turns to me and says "cover yourself up". In the car on the way home I told DH what she said. He assured me that my boob had been hanging out nipple and all (although he didn't mind). I feel embarrassed. Everone saw my boob.

I keep on telling myself my boobs are for feeding and that it doesn't matter that everything was hanging out but somehow it is not working. I am still embarrassed. Please help me to feel less embarrassed.

OP posts:

MoonUnitAlpha · 09/01/2011 18:32

I opened the door to the postman recently with a boob still out

pozzled · 09/01/2011 18:37

Surely if you were feeding then everything can't have been on show? Maybe a brief flash as you got him latched on, but not after that.

Your sister sounds a bit insensitive- was she trying to have a quiet word in case you didn't realise your top had slipped, or was she quite embarrassed herself just because you were feeding? If the latter then it's her who has a problem and you should try not to let it bother you.

You were only feeding your baby, you should not have to feel embarrassed about that.

belgo · 09/01/2011 18:40

Shrug it off. In all probability there were women showing more cleavage then you at the party anyway.

and at moonunitalpha!

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 09/01/2011 18:43

Moon - my worst nightmare. I worry about that! :P

smokinaces · 09/01/2011 18:46

Moon, I've done that too! First couple of weeks of DS2, would go more or less topless as I switched him from side to side. Door went, I got up to answer and left a boob hanging out as DS was latched on the other.

Thankfully the postman didnt seem to bad an eyelid!

Original poster

AliGrylls · 09/01/2011 18:48

strangers I don't care about. They will
only see me once in a while. Close friends and my family I do care about (particularly my mum and sister). I feel they are more likely to be judgemental about my lack of discretion. We don't have the same view on this subject.

OP posts:

emsyj · 09/01/2011 18:48

I went out with one boob hanging out once. I only noticed when I nearly sliced my nipple off with the seatbelt.

I have very often breastfed in the window of a local cafe as that's where the comfy sofas are. I am pretty shameless really. I think you can allow yourself an hour or so of cringing and then you must shrug, say "meh" and move on!

One of the mums at one of the baby groups I go to had such sore nipples that she cut holes in her t-shirt as the fabric against them rubbed and was painful. Yep, you guessed it - she opened the door like that. Oh well!

marzipananimal · 09/01/2011 18:49

feel proud that you have contributed to the normalisation of breastfeeding in our culture :)

I'm sure I've flashed a bit of nipple before but I just see them as baby feeding equipment so not too bothered

Fenugreek · 09/01/2011 18:52

I once crashed into a guy. He was very nice about it. Cheerful, even. Very friendly chap. Was only afterwards I realised I'd been flashing boob at him, brightly framed with a fuchsia feeding bra hanging open.

MoonUnitAlpha · 09/01/2011 18:54

I'm quite indiscreet I was chatting to a friend once when she suddenly said "wow, were your nipples always that big!"

ILoveGregoryHouse · 09/01/2011 18:58

Aw, sorry you're embarassed. I am bfing and have recently just got on with it in front of my son's godfather who came to stay for a week - a 37 year old single man and in front of one of dh's friends - another 30 something single man. Neither of them batted an eyelid and I only cared about making my dd happy. My point here is it's their issue not yours. Your baby is more important. I would try and avoid giving the postman an eyeful though.

Original poster

AliGrylls · 09/01/2011 19:07

I feel better about it already. I will just keep telling myself that my breasts are for feeding my baby.

OP posts:

belgo · 09/01/2011 19:09

. I'm sure I've done this; even worse ds pulled out my breast pad and waved it around at a party once!

Bumperlicious · 09/01/2011 19:10

'strangers I don't care about. They will
only see me once in a while. Close friends and my family I do care about (particularly my mum and sister). I feel they are more likely to be judgemental about my lack of discretion. We don't have the same view on this subject.'

Funnily enough I'm the same. I'm probably most uncomfortable feeding around my mum as I know she is bloody judgemental.

Try not to worry OP. One day you will block this whole period of your life out anyway in order to convince yourself to do it again!

Bumperlicious · 09/01/2011 19:11

Ah, I see it's dc2 so you will already have blocked out the first time!

MoonUnitAlpha · 09/01/2011 19:12

Just remembered I was at a party at my younger brother's house a while ago, and I'd gone into an empty bedroom to feed ds. While I was in there a couple of my brother's young, single, male friends wandered in and started chatting to me and came over to touch the baby and when they finally realised what I was doing they were very Made their excuses and left!

bessofhardwick · 09/01/2011 19:13

Hi Ali,
sorry you felt embarassed. TBH your sisters reaction reflects badly upon her not you. You were just feeding your baby. If other people have a problem with breastfeeding, that is their look out.

Figgyrolls · 09/01/2011 19:13

My mum too guys, she really doesn't like seeing me feed and neither does my dad. I keep telling them to get stuffed!!! My mum ff me so I don't think she gets it and its a huge generational thing. frankly I am not going to feed my baby formula when my boobs work and are always with me, just because it upsets a couple of family members! don't worry about it at all.

PorkChopSter · 09/01/2011 19:15

Where's that thread where one teenage boy said to another "they are feeding boobies, not wanking boobies"?

Try not to worry.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 09/01/2011 19:15

MoonUnitAplha - that happened to me! POstlady rang door as she had a parcel for me to sign for, was feeding DS at the time, and got up to answer didn't notice as i was signing for the parcel that DS has come off

I also flashed the window cleaner as well

grumpymashedbanana · 09/01/2011 19:21

I think the world and his wife have now seen my boobs, have become more militant over the months and now feel proud that they have done such an amazing job of feeding my baby.

Don't be embarrassed- be proud!

And let your sister and your mum suck it up- you are a strong woman who is feeding her baby!

LindtLover · 09/01/2011 19:57

There was a great post on here ages ago and it was (roughly, forgive any mistakes) about a woman feeding her baby and two teenage boys walking past. One boy nudged the other as if to say 'look at them' and the other boy said, 'don't look, they are feeding boobs not wanking boobs'. It made me laugh so much.

I thought of that story every time I had a funny look etc whilst feeding my DD2 out and about.

OP don't worry about it, we've all done it to greater or lesser extent (and I am in the former group). If your friends/family think badly of you then shame on them!

LindtLover · 09/01/2011 19:59

PorkChop - you beat me too it!! I started posting ages ago but then dinner was ready and I've only just pressed 'post'. It was such a funny thread though!

HelenLG · 09/01/2011 20:16

I popped into work the other day with DS and he nearly pulled my boob out, then when he couldnt, he started blowing raspberries into my cleavage.

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 09/01/2011 20:23

LOL at the feeding boobies / wanking boobies division!

OP, don't you feel embarrassed, not for one minute. The meaning of any degree of nakedness is entirely contextual. (For example, we can generally expose more skin at the beach than at a funeral.) No-one with a brain in their heads would think you were revealing your breast for sexual purposes. It was clearly to feed your DC and therefore not just appropriate, but an example of your great parenting. Okay?

(Actually, I prefer the "feeding boobies" / "wanking boobies" explanation. Much more succinct and understandable.)

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