Can't cope with BF any more - which formula?

[Petsville]

DS is 5 months old, was sleeping OK till 16 weeks and since then we seem to have been having a never-ending 4-month sleep regression. I thought it was getting better last week, but we're right back to feeding every hour and a half all night. He doesn't nap in the daytime for longer than 45 minutes at a stretch, so I can't sleep in the day. I'm so tired I do actually think I'm going mad, and I have to go back to work at the end of this month. DH will be SAHD once I go back to work, so if we switch to formula he can do more of the night feeding: at the moment there's nothing he can do so all the nights fall to me.

I feel very sad about this as I'd planned to BF till 6 months and carry on doing morning and evening feeds when I went back to work, but I don't see any alternative to switching to FF: I would mixed feed, but we've never been able to get DS to take a bottle and I don't think we ever will as long as he knows the breast is there. So the question is, which brand of formula do we go for? DS has a slightly sensitive gut, in spite of having been EBF, and I suspect will be prone to constipation.

I cant really advise on the breastfeeding issues, my daughter is 5.5 months and its only recently that she has been more settled.
If you do decide to go onto formula my son was pretty miserable after most formula but he seemd ok on HIPP didnt seem to be so hard on his tummy.

The rules surrounding the composition of infant formula are very strict and there is very little room for variation. There will be superficial differences between brands but they are basically all the same.

The important thing is to use a formula suitable for your babies age. This means that for babies under 6 months you should be using a first milk not a follow on milk.

You might find that you are better with the cartons rather than the powder. I've been tiold that the UHT process partially breaks down the milk and makes it easier to digest. Most brands also do a "comfort" version of formula which is formulated for colic and constipation it might also be worth having a chat with your HV to see if a "comfort" milk might be appropriate.

However before you do all this would it be worth talking to a breastfeeding counsellor to see if they can help you find a solution which allows you to keep BF. I only ask this because you say you are sad to stop early, not because I think there would be anything wrong if you did decide to stop.

FWIW i've mixed fed Cow and Gate Comfort since 14 weeks for similar reasons to you, DD also has a sensitive tummy. DD is 6 months this week and we're going to move from 2 bottles a day to mostly FF with the exception of nighttime feeds and the first feed of the day.

They're pretty much all the same. I used SMA and it was fine. Make sure you read the instructions carefully and make with cooled but not cold boiled water.

HV is a waste of space, sadly, or I would talk to her. She doesn't answer questions, she just gives her standard pre-prepared spiel. All she's ever said about feeding is to ask me (every time I go there, with DS who is gaining weight very well) whether I'm sure I've got enough milk.

Sorry that you are having a tough time of it. This could just be sleep regression though giving formula won't necessarily mean more sleep, sorry.

Having said that, if you do want to ff, just choose the one that your local shop sells. There were lots of posts on MN during the snow from people saying that they couldn't get to a shop that sold their usual brand and what could they do.

Like the other posters have said, they are all pretty much the same and no one formula is better than the others.

Thanks for the advice. I'm sure it is sleep regression, but it's been going on for six weeks and I'm suicidal, and I can't possibly go back to work on this little sleep. I know giving formula won't necessarily mean more sleep overall, but it will mean more sleep for me.

Fair enough then, hope it works for you

Aww Petsvile sorry you are still having such a crap time. FWIW I think Apatimil is supposed to be easy to digest. They do a hungry baby version which you could give last thing before bed to try and get a longer stretch.

My HV is also useless. My DD suffered from painful wind which woke her up in the night and caused her a lot of distress in the day and all the HV ever said is are you drinking a lot of orange juice .

If I didn't like getting DD weighed I'd never go back.

(whispers) I actually gave the comfort formula without checking with the HV first and DD has been fine since.

Yes, we only go to get DS weighed - I wouldn't trust any advice she gave me anyway. Thanks for the tip about comfort formula.

Incidentally, I've never used a BF counsellor as apart from the sleep I've had no real problems - if I talk to one will I be able to get advice on how to stop BFing or will the focus be on how I can carry on?

Thanks for the sympathy, Zimm - are things still OK for you? We thought last week that the regression might finally be coming to an end, but obviously not!

Think I've seen TikTok say before, (please tell me if I'm wrong TikTok), that a Bfing Counsellor will talk to you about how to stop. Apparently they do get a lot of calls about this, it can be a worry for some about how to stop without getting msstitis. She may run through some things with you first.

I'd give them a call though.

I had the same with DS from about 18 weeks - miserable when they've been sleeping quite well and suddenly they're up every hour in the night!

I don't know if this will help you at all, but actually I just decided ds doesn't need feeding that often in the night he just needs help getting back to sleep. So I stopped feeding him to sleep at bedtime - DP rocks him instead. And in the night I feed him at 10.30pm (formula actually, so DP can do it and I go to bed early - and also so I knew he had a full tummy so wasn't hungry if he woke 30 minutes later) and again around 4ish. Any wakings in between DP goes to him and rocks or cuddles him back to sleep. Took a week or so but it has reduced the night waking dramatically - generally DS sleeps from the 10.30 feed until 4 now, and then again til 7ish. He does still wake a couple of times in the evening between 7-10, but DP gets him back to sleep in minutes.

We were very happy with Hipp Organic, you can also get it in carton form. We used it to supplement breastfeeding in 2009.

i third the advice about talking to a bf counselor about stopping

at 5 months you will have quite a good supply, so stopping needs to be managed carefully to ease discomfort/prevent mastitis

they are led by you in terms of what they discuss, and are non judgmental

no one is going to say 'stop bf how very dare you'

they will be v supportive

good luck

Yes, bfcs will talk about this - not brands of formula but the logistics of stopping gradually, and they will also talk about ways of coping with night feeds which don't involve formula, without judging you at all if you really want to switch.

Hope things work out for you, Petsville.

Thanks for all the helpful advice - it's much appreciated. I will try talking to a BF counsellor as a first step.

silly question - hadn't you considered intoducing solids as a third choice - seethis thread ?

He's a bit little still, I think - he's only 22 weeks, and I though the earliest you were meant to start was about 24 weeks if the baby seemed developmentally ready for it? We want to do BLW and he can't sit up unaided yet (though he's good at grabbing things).

I used SMA only because of the bigger cartons. Meant I only had to use one carton per feed when out and about all the way along, whereas my friend were having to do a carton and a bit whilst out, which is a faff and veeeeery expensive!

I started BLW at 22 weeks - although ds can't sit up completely unaided, he's sturdy/upright in a bumbo and can pick food up, get it to his mouth, swallow etc. He's eating very small amounts though so not sure it would be enough to have any impact on night waking from hunger - think you'd have to be spooning in porridge or something to actually fill them up.

I used SMA with 2 children, I always really liked it.

Can I second the suggestion to try to get your DH to settle DS at night apart from say one agreed feed time? My DS had the four month sleep regression from hell. It actually lasted right up until two weeks before he turned six months and was easily the toughest part of his babyhood hands down apart from the first three weeks of colic. One night he woke at 10, 12, 2, 4, 5 and 6. I thought and hoped I was going to die. Anyway the next night I slept in the spare room and DH went to him when he woke. And he fell asleep within minutes!! He never woke more than once or twice after that one night unless he was ill. They are going through a huge developmental shift and find it hard to switch off I think. Anyway it does pass!! And sleep really settles down as soon as food is introduced, they nap longer too. My DS was a religious 40 minute napper now sometimes goes for 2 hours! We're just night weaning him now at 16 months and BFing has been a joy ever since the four month sleep regression ended. Good luck.

I don't know whether this will help or not, so apologies but my DD was just like this, except her naps her 30 mins and I started work at 4 months.

She continued like this to 7 months and then the night feeds stretched out a little bit. At 10 months we she does about 4-6 hours between 6pm to midnight and then tends to does 3 hours. Her naps have only just gone to 60-90 mins.

It's not great, but it's not a sign your doing wrong somehow. I don't intend this to be a judgement of 'well if I can do it...' because I really don't, so please don't take it that way.