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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Please help. No one here can

44 replies

beijingaling · 06/01/2011 20:07

I'm writing this in tears. It's 4 am here and I'm exhausted and in agony. Dd is 3 days old and feeding is excruciating. It's only gotten worse too. I have wide but I think probably short nipples and I can never get her to open her mouth wide enough. The nurses tell me the latch is fine as does the bf consultant. I know she isn't getting enough milk though as I can't hear much swallowing. She sucks hard two or three times then stops and needs to be woken up like she's got a pacifier not a source of food. This goes on and on.

My milk came in yesterday and she got one good feed off it but that's been it. I know she's hungry because she is hourly doing the eating fist thing. My breasts are big and painful and I'm worried about mastitis or my milk going if I can't get her to feed.

I'm so desperate to bf her but I can't do this and I can't fix it. I've been on kellymom for help but I've never managed the deep latch thing. DH will help in any way but he's at a loss to watch me crying during feeds.

I leave hospital tomorrow so were going to buy a pump and bottles on the way home. Surely it can't hurt more than this? I really really dont want to formula feed especially in china with the tainted product issue.

OP posts:

spiderlight · 06/01/2011 20:52

Oh, bless you. The first few weeks are so hard. It will get easier, I promise. A lot of the pain at first is from tissue behind the nipple stretching, but that doesn't last forever.

Has your baby been checked for a tongue tie? I have no first-hand experience of this but I know it can make latching and feeding more painful.

Big un-MN hugs to you - I really hope you get past this quickly so you can start to enjoy BF, because it is wonderful once you've got it sussed. Congratulations on the arrival of your daughter too!

bettiboo · 06/01/2011 20:59

Hi OP. I haven't read the full thread but I experienced excrutiating pain and bleeding when I was breastfeeding. I would cry as soon as I knew my baby needed feeding. I can't explain how bad I felt - it was literally traumatic. I rang my midwife and I kid you not, what she advised me to do was nothing short of a miracle! She told me to get savoy cabbage - yes savoy cabbage and keep it in my bra, which I did 9so soothing and healing) and she said to buy nipple shields (the most important thing in my opinion) and feed with these attached (there's also a psychological element too in my opinion because you can see how much milk is coming out), then at bedtime use breast cups. The breast cups act as a recepticle to collect milk during the night - you can put the milk in a bottle and keep it in the fridge and use when you can't cope with feeding. It was a MIRACLE. It truly improved my experience almost immediately. Anything's worth a try. Good luck and big hugs.

Partyof52010 · 06/01/2011 21:10

Sorrt to hear you're having a tough time. The first few days can be really awful...my nipples bled horrifically with first baby. It was really upsetting when I saw my pfb crying with blood and milk round her mouth. But it does ease, I promise you. Savoy cabbage is amazing. I also found a warm bath with warm flannels good. I fed my fb in the bath a lot in the early days.

Another thing, my 3rd baby was born incredibly quickly. Fed brilliantly to start, then got to 72 hrs old and started being really lazy, sliding off and taking a couple of sucks then stopping. We were so worried we took him to hospital, where we were told that he was probably in shock from the birth. Apparently this can be common after a quick or traumatic birth. Sure enough he picked up again within 48 hrs, and became a greedy piggy, so please, please stick with it. Its a new experience for both of you, but it will be amazing when you both get it right xxx

peasizedbladder · 06/01/2011 23:09

it will get better!! i remember night 3 being hell with both of our boys - the worst nights ever! my friend has a 3 week old and went through exactly the same on night 3 and is now feeding fine. hang in there!!

StartingAfresh · 06/01/2011 23:16

If you really can't get a deep latch, get as deep as you can, and then use your thumb to gently press the baby's chin down to widen the mouth whilst you shove a bit more breast tissue in.

It is better to get the latch right as the baby attaches but I know after a few on and offs you could literally scream with frustration and this will help a bit.

Limelight · 07/01/2011 00:09

All very good advice. Just wanted to put a virtual hand on your shoulder and say you can do this. It will get better. It will get less painful and will become the easiest thing in the world. Just go with it, try not to analyse too much and give you and your baby time to work it out. I remember so well how I felt when DS was a few days old and it's so hard. You're doing brilliantly!

cardamomginger · 07/01/2011 07:22

Had your DD been checked for tongue tie? Biggest hugs XXX

CamperFan · 07/01/2011 09:09

It is hell at first, but it gradually gets better. I used an exaggerated attachment method which help - putting pressure on the breast just above the nipple which aims it up into baby's mouth. Jelonet gauze also helped, as someone else mentioned - helped heal bloody bits really quickly. DS also had a tongue tie which was immediately snipped. Even now at 10 weeks I have to express off the right side a little in the night if he does a long stretch as he just can't latch on to that nipple if the breast is very full.

It feels like all you do is bf in the first couple of weeks, and gradually you realize you have more and more time to get other things done.

Coping with the pain is one thing, but having the confidence in your body is another really important factor. You are doing really well so far, and it helps enormously if your DH is supportive.

porcamiseria · 07/01/2011 21:42

a few thoughts

I was surpised by the pain second time around, however this is cos the milk is not 100% through yet, as its hard to get at the colustrum they suck harder, ergo pain. the nipples WILL get used to it, and pain will pass, use lots of nipple cream

the latch thing is hard, HARD, I only got it when I made sure that the nipple was pointing to the TOP of their mouth, does that make any sense?

in the first few days I dripped formula onto my nipples, this meant that baby got some food to fill him and make him sleep a tad, but he was still sucking to stimulate supply. When milk was 100% through I stopped and he is 100% BF now, but it did help

i posted the same as you on day 4, and he was my second, HANG ON IN THERE!

Leviathan · 07/01/2011 23:59

I really feel for you - my boobs were so sore for first couple of weeks - toe curling and had me in tears too... i got several people to check my latch - no-one could see anything wrong- wondered if it was thrush and finally the doctor said it was mastitis. i wasn't convinced but the pain cleared up a couple of days after i started the antibiotics. But you can also try hot and cold compresses, massage, paracetomol and go to bed - keep feeding baby - that's how i treated it the second time i got it.

Also feeding seemed to be less sore if i fed baby lying on my side in bed. i didn't think i could see a way through it but it does get better.

good luck
Lx

Original poster

beijingaling · 09/01/2011 14:25

I just want to say a huge huge thank you to everyone who wrote and sent hugs and best wishes. We got home from the hospital on Friday and I was a wreck. We went and bought bottles and a pump and... Haven't needed them! Bought avent nipple shields and they seem to have done the trick. The pain has gone and she's figured the latch out almost by herself. I can't believe the difference.

Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone. Knowing that it wasn't just me and that it would get better (even though I couldn't believe it at the time) really helped.

OP posts:

Meglet · 09/01/2011 14:28

aaaaw, lovely to hear it's going well now . Enjoy being at home together!

MistyB · 09/01/2011 17:03

Phew!! Well done both of you. Take care of yourself and good luck!!

blinder · 10/01/2011 20:58

Hooray! Well done for persevering. I hope you have lots of lovely breastfeeding months. It's magic!

EauRouge · 10/01/2011 21:07

That's fantastic news, you sound so relieved. I'm really glad it's working out well :)

crikeybadger · 10/01/2011 22:08

So great to hear that things are going well for you. That's brill news .

Make sure everyone else looks after you now you're home.

Nagoo · 10/01/2011 22:29

fantastic.

spiderlight · 10/01/2011 22:57

Yay - so so so pleased! :o

TheSydenhamSet · 10/01/2011 23:22

Aww, so pleased beijing. I read this thread through and really felt for you so was very pleased to see your latest message. Woohoo! I too found nipple shields a life saver. They got me through those first few weeks of cracked nipples and now, 7 months later, I'm a very happy breastfeeding mother . It suddenly becomes super easy, quick and painless. Keep going! xx

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