Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Health visitor has just called to tell me to stop BF on demand.

74 replies

mamjo · 04/01/2011 19:04

I went to the weigh in with the health visitor today and my DD has again put on a lot of weight. She was 8lb exactly at birth and was 17lb 7 oz today at 14 weeks. This has seen her steadily rise from the 75th to the 99th centile. She is exclusively breast fed and I wasnt too worried because I have always been led to believe that breast fed babies cant overfeed. However I just had a call from my HV saying that she was concerned following my visit today and that I should now start only feeding my DD every 4 hours instead of on demand. This is going to cause untold stress to me and my beautiful girl and I am not really sure how necessary it is?

Untill 10 days ago she was eating every 2 hours day and night but she has now started to naturally go 4/5 hours between 9-9 and closer to 2 hours 30 during the day.

I always try to distract her before feeding but if nothing is working after 5 minutes, will offer the breast.

she wont take a dummy.

I would love to hear your thoughts and/or tips for achieving a 4 hourly feed.

Thanks

OP posts:

BrandyAlexander · 04/01/2011 22:43

After 6 weeks, I only went to see HV 3 more times, and then only because DD was having her 2, 3 and 4 month jabs so it was no hassle to pop by and get her weighed. DD is a nice healthy 2 year old. When I think back to the crap advice I got on breastfeeding the first few weeks, it just makes my blood boil. What got me through, was reading people on mn saying over and over again that seeing the HV isn't mandatory. Don't stress yourself and just ignore her!

TheCrackFox · 04/01/2011 22:45

I think if you want to discuss this with your HV (I wouldn't bother as she is a loon) you should ask "why do you think it is a good idea to put my baby on a diet?" Because that is what 4 hr feeding means - a baby diet!

If she can't back this up with proper peer reviewed research (and no, something Great Aunt Vera taught her doesn't count) I would report her.

Undutchable · 04/01/2011 22:51

Can I just add that the same happened to ds1. Was 80th percentile at birth, by 2 months was off the charts. Was bf on demand. He settled down again and now is about 90th percentile. Just carry on with what you are doing (and the hv wasn't the slightest bit bothered as he was breast fed).

rodformyownback · 04/01/2011 23:53

hi op

congrats on your marvellous feeding of your lovely big baby!

tell hv to take a running jump. like most of them sadly she is full of shit. i don't know what training they do but it must be utter bollocks.

hv came round to mine last week to see ds2 age 3 weeks. she congratulated me on successfully establishing breastfeeding. general bfing conversation ensued during which i mentioned that i bfed ds1 for 15 months. she raised her eyebrow and said "oh a really long time then?"

15 months! ffs

allnightlong · 05/01/2011 00:03

Terrible uneducated advice like this is the reason why I've refused all contact with HV with my two DC.

OP I'd call and ask to speak to her superior and suggest that the HV is made to do some sort of BF trainning before she offers her opinion on a subject area she obviously knows little about.

There is no need at all to feed every 4 hours, you seem happy with how you feed now so why change.

PumpUpTheJam · 05/01/2011 07:45

Oh mamjo I feel your pain - it is s.uch a personal insult, like being told you have already failed your baby! In my case it was not HV but my mum who told me DD was "too fat" and that i was setting her up for problems later in life by feeding her "too often"... Totally belittling the initial battle i had gone through to bf successfully!

We had a bit of a row, naturally, then i went away and asked a lactation consultant who assured me it was not possible to bf a baby into weight problems. She referred me to the La Leche League for info and I found lots of relevant articles including this one here:

www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVJulAugSep06p54.html

Sent it to my mum, along with an explanation of why i was upset and why all the research pointed to the benefits of demand feeding. Mum did not respond but has not mentioned it since so i suppose that means she has conceded that one!

I agree with other mums here who said you should ask your HV for her scientific research to support bf every four hours. If you just tell her you're doing what she says, then she'll think any weight change is down to her marvellous advice rather than your marvellous parenting. BF on demand is not easy and i salute you for it.

porcamiseria · 05/01/2011 09:25

ignore!!! but no need to tell her to fuck off she may think you are lying about ebf

avoid her

missmehalia · 05/01/2011 09:31

I'm not sure how much you want to be part of the HV's journey, OP, but I'm just so glad you've got the strength of character to do your own thing. BF best thing possible for all little ones (I know it doesn't suit everyone, but..) And it really does fly in the face of the WHO advice, as so many people have said on here.

I'm just cringing at the number of other parents she might frighten and upset by saying similar things. Why start getting so jumpy about weight at such an early age, anyway? Thin end of the wedge, and all that.

I think if you asked for her justifications for her comment, she'd back right down. People often just 'say' things, esp to new mums, not having a clue how upsetting it can be when you spend so much time and thought agonising over what's right for your DC.

My HV with my first DC wrote some unbelievably sweeping generalisations about suspecting I had PND (after a v difficult birth without a partner) on my notes (after a single 5 min home visit and a 10-point questionaire). She made no eye contact with me or had much conversation at all beforehand. It was completely unfounded, I knew it then as I look back and know it now. I complained and was given access to my notes, but had no right to reply!! None of us do, sadly. It's something that stays on your records. You're allowed access to them, but not to change them or add to them in any way.

I think it's disgusting that so many deluded HVs have such power to encourage or destroy confidence. Thank God for MN.

tiktok · 05/01/2011 09:42

The worrying thing is that this HV has actually called the OP specially - this was not an off-the-cuff remark made at the clinic, but a personal contact made afterwards, without, it seems, any real justification for the advice given.

I too hope the OP will take steps to challenge this, in a polite and enquiring way.

I suspect, from the details here, that the HV is not speaking from a firm knowledge base. It is a bit scary that she can make a mother feel so anxious, and it's also likely she is saying similar stuff to other mothers.

Maybe there is some justification for this - but she should explain what it is.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 05/01/2011 09:45

I would take exactly the same route as Stealth. Very politely ask her for the evidence as you'd love to read it.

She won't produce it as there isn't any and will probably leave you alone in future.

If you are feeling a little cheeky, you could always print this off and suggests she goes

Original poster

mamjo · 05/01/2011 10:42

Hi all, thanks for taking the time to respond to my post. It is amazing how much strength I have drawn from you all.

I have decided that I will confront her on her advice as many of you have suggested. This health visitor has previously been excellent and only 4 weeks ago supported me with on demand feeding when my GP suggested that I should stop as DD is "too fat" this is why it was such a shock yesterday that she had done a full 360.

Many thanks

OP posts:

EauRouge · 05/01/2011 10:50

That's great, let us know what she says. Hopefully she will be willing to update her info a bit so that she can help more effectively.

StealthPolarBear · 05/01/2011 12:07

that is odd - please let us know what she says

Original poster

mamjo · 05/01/2011 12:26

She is unavailable now till next week, but I have left a message for her to contact me. Will let you know how I get on.

OP posts:

RubyBuckleberry · 05/01/2011 12:50

oh my wor. it beggars belief really, doesn't it!

RubyBuckleberry · 05/01/2011 12:51

word

foxytocin · 05/01/2011 13:16

so it sounds like she rang you at the very end of the day, just before she is becoming unavailable, hoping it will all blow over.

sounds like she is very unhappy or insecure with what she has said. Maybe print off the LLL infosheet linked below and post it on with a nice letter stating that you have considered what she has said and decided to follow this option instead. (Then maybe she'll read it and feel more secure in the bf on demand thing despite the size of the baby.)

poppydog10 · 05/01/2011 13:29

Please don't simply ignore her or just nod and smile as others have suggested. You need to report her for giving such bad advice and not following NHS/WHO guidelines. She may give advice to someone who isn't so clueed up and they might beleive her.

When your baby was weighed, she might have had a full stomach and a full nappy, which would increase the weight. Or she might have had a grown spurt. Or she could be tall!

poppydog10 · 05/01/2011 13:30

Just though - she wouldn't have been weighed with her happy on. But being weighed with a full bladder or before a poo might make her weigh more.

poppydog10 · 05/01/2011 13:30

nappy not happy

monkeyflippers · 05/01/2011 13:56

I get really fed up with HVs thinking that is up to them to TELL parents what to do. . . it isn't! They are just there to advise you, you can ignore everything they say if you chose. I think when it's your first it's so easy to think that you HAVE to do what they say but you really don't, most of the time they are just spouting government guidelines.

I have been an unwilling witness several times to HVs (at the clinic) doing what can only be described as dictating to parents. Also bordering on bullying. NOT GOOD!

legallyblond · 05/01/2011 13:59

My HV (who is one of the few brilliant ones out there!) has told me the total opposite!

DD (12 weeks) was born on 75th centile for weight and 98th for height. Height is still 98th centile and weight has also increased up to 98th. She looks HUGE compared to other babies her age.

She is ebf totally on demand and she demands quite a lot (like you, every 2 hours or so in the day and she was doing 4-5 hours at night - now 2.5 hours at night for some reason). Anyway, I worried about her being too big and HV told me it is impossible to overfeed a ebf baby and that the fat cells being created are different to those created in a ff baby - she cannot be too fat! (Something about "brown" fat cells maybe??)

Apparently a big baby doesn't even equal a big toddler, although she is likely to be tall (I am 5'11" but pretty slim, so I guess she may be my build).

Ignore your HV.

StartingAfresh · 05/01/2011 14:04

You wait. When she hits 16-22 weeks she'll start dropping through the charts at an alarming rate and the HV will tell your milk is of poor quality and you should either FF or start giving solids.

This will also be bollocks!

monkeyflippers · 05/01/2011 14:45

Also, I know a few babies who were HUGE for a while and then mums were told they were overfeeding. They are now very slim and normal sized.

Flip

1 2 3