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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

When do you know that you want to stop breastfeeding?

21 replies

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 21:55

I have a 12 month old DD and she is breastfed. Gradually Over the last few months we have cut down (I wanted this and instigated it) if DD had her way she would still be fed 24/7!!

Anyway I have been thinking recently that maybe I want to stop feeding DD altogether. I'm not sure why really. I do enjoy it someof the time. Other times I get a bit fed up especially when DD trys to get my boobs out quite often and shouts bo.

So I'm just wondering how you ladies decided enough is enough and how did you go about it?

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 03/01/2011 22:00

DC1 - when she started biting and I couldn't handle the pain any more (about 9m)

DC2 - it had dwindled down to 1 or 2 feeds a day only and then she suddenly totally lost interest in even the morning one (which was her real, proper feed IYKWIM) so it sort of stopped of her accord - about 15 or 16m IIRC. I was really upset and got quite emotional

DC3 - still excl BF at 21w. Looking forward to him weaning (solids) and dropping a few BFs tbh, as he's at the "Mother is a human Dummy" stage atm

Original poster

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 22:05

Thanks notnow. I remember that stage well.

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SuchStuff · 03/01/2011 22:07

By the time DS was 12 months old, he was having just one evening feed a day. Like you, I had instigated the cutting down of feeds and DS would happily have continued for ages. However, I was going away for two nights and also, TBH, I had reached a point where I wanted my boobs back!

I loved BFing and did feel some sadness at the end of an era, but I knew that this was the right time for us.

Original poster

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 22:13

Thats the think such I just don't know.

I knew I wanted to cut down but just not sure.

OP posts:

verycherry · 03/01/2011 22:15

Ds has just turned 1, his bedtime feed got dropped two wks ago when I went back to work doing long days and nights - hence not there at bedtime.

He now only has a feed when he wakes and it hasn't been every day, I am thinking I may just stop altogether now. I do feel like I've had enough and he does scratch and pinch me so it's not the greatest!

Ds3 self weaned at a year which worked for me, Ds4 went on strike at 6m then hardly fed in the day so quickly reduced to just morn/bedtime feeds so I think it will be easy to just stop and I do think I feel ready, and as he isn't fussed if he misses I feel ok about stopping.

Sorry, not sure that will help, think I've just waffled.

SuchStuff · 03/01/2011 22:17

I do know what you mean. For me, it helped that I had a specific occasion to give up for, IYSWIM.

I don't think I would ever have been 100% ready but once it was done, I knew it had been the right thing to do. Sorry, that's probably not much help!

hogmanayhildegardwhingesagain · 03/01/2011 22:22

Still feeding DS, just turned two - thought he had stopped a couple of weeks ago but then he changed his mind

He only feeds at bedtime now and occasionally before a nap. When he was feeding often sometimes I would just get fed up of being touched and grabbed TBH, and would want to stop. I usually found I was just temporarily fed up though.

Now, I am ready for him to stop anytime but it doesn't bother me either way.

Original poster

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 22:24

Thanks very Its good to know I'm not on my own.

such Actually that makes me feel better that you weren't 100% but you were happy after. {smile]

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Original poster

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 22:28

at hogmanay's DS. Yep the touching and grabbing does get on my nerves at times.

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reddaisy · 03/01/2011 22:28

I gave up when DD was 15 months old. I was definitely ready as I started seeing it as a chore and I wanted to get my body back to my own as it is a long time as it is on top of being pregnant as well of course.

I had been planning to stop anyway and she went to my mum's for the night and didn't ask for any when she got back (usually she was clamouring to get to them) so she stopped by herself! But I have to admit, I had a little cry but I was glad that I finished and her relationship with DP has improved so much because she will now allow herself to be comforted by him too rather than wanting me/my breasts instead!!

I cut down to morning and last thing at night feeds first by the way. Good luck!

Original poster

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 22:29

Thanks red. It might be easy than I think....

OP posts:

streptococcus · 03/01/2011 22:40

I gave up at 15months and 9 months. 15 months felt like the right time. I had gone from loving feeding him to it being a bit of a PITA . It may be controversial I just wanted my body back.

I had to stop at 9 months with the second as I was working long shifts and we couldnt get into a routine... several nasty mastitis infections resulted as i couldnt have regular times to feed/ express. 9 months was porbably a bit soon if I'm honest but it was the right descsion at the time.

Both times I just wore loads of layers lots of breastpads and tried to distract them. they were a bit fed up initially dont seem to hold it against me now :)

and dont feel guilty if you do stop... if it feels like the right time for you them it probably is

Original poster

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 22:43

I had gone from loving feeding him to it being a bit of a PITA

strep I feel like this quite alot now.

OP posts:

PotPourri · 03/01/2011 22:48

I'm at that point, but as it's my last baby I am finding it hard to let go. I do need to (ds is 10 months) as I'm back at work and my shifts just make it too hard to express etc. I am planning to just do evenings/overnight. I feel sad but also sure that at this moment I need to do it. I do wish I could have carried on indefinately, but finances haven't allowed.

Also the biting (unintentional) is hard to take some days

Original poster

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 22:57

Sorry pot, its sad that you can't carry on even though you want to.

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Original poster

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 22:58

Just realised I put 12 months instead of 21 in the orginal op!!!!

She is 21 months.

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HereMeRoar · 03/01/2011 23:16

DC3 is 13 moths and I'm feeling quite fed up. I've had phases like this with all of them though. Do bear in mind that bf can be a v v useful tool for toddler tantrums .

Original poster

stropicana2011 · 03/01/2011 23:23

Hear I was thinking that myself. Tonight my little devil my little angel was in a very bad mood and bo settled her straight away.

OP posts:

coldcomfortHeart · 04/01/2011 07:27

I cut things down at 18m and stopped feeding DS during the day (still morning, bedtime and copiously through the night!) which was easy- he was easily distracted and if he got very upset or hurt himself I still fed him. I night weaned later (around 20m I think) just due to extreme exhaustion on my part. It was not easy and quite traumatic for all involved! Kept the bedtime feed and that was it. He began shortening it himself until it was literally only a few seconds long- still seemed important to him though.

I am now 17 weeks pg and after much consideration decided I don't want to tandem feed, so the last two nights DS (now 26 months) has had a cup of cow's milk before bed instead. Luckily he loves cow's milk.

What I'm trying to say is in our case it was a mix- it was decreasing with a bit of persuasion from me and also a bit from him, but our circumstances sort of dictated the rest. I feel it's the right decision for us although I do feel sad as well- he's not bothered!

peppapighastakenovermylife · 04/01/2011 07:36

I think starting to get fed up and not wanting to be touched is common in the second year, particularly from around 18 months. I wonder if it is natures way of starting to end the breastfeeding relationship - or to get periods to return to have another baby?

I do realise natural term weaning in other countries is much longer than 2 years and many mums are happy to go on longer than this - just noticed that this feeling seems quite common as toddlers approach two.

In hindsight - was not deliberate - both mine became less interested in feeding and I became more and more reluctant / irritated around the time they were properly up on their feet and running about (rather than first steps. DS was around 15 months, DD 18 months but I was also pregnant. With DS2 - I a starting to look forward to solids now as he is also in that stage but I will just see how things go - aiming for around 18 months to 2 years.

What I have noticed though is when they are tiny tiny I get really upset about the idea of giving solids and no longer EBF...then I get ready and want to do it around 5 months. Then I can't bear the idea of cutting down feeds....but feel ready at around 9 months. Everything seems to adapt

Sarahlou8 · 04/01/2011 16:25

For me I fed until 8 months with my DD and DS.

With DD by 8 months I had to give up her night time feed as she was getting into the habit of being fed to sleep and couldn't re-settle in the night. That was enough to finish my milk supply.
With DS I had a sickness bug and my milk was the first thing to suffer, coincidently at the same time.

I was down to only feeding 4 times a day by then though.

Now, with 10 week old EBF baby, I hope to go on for longer this time. I wasn't ready to stop with either of the others. I have no 'right time' in mind though, just when we feel ready (which as she is the last will probably be never!)

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