Please help - gave up at same point first time around

[lizzie1977]

Hi guys

Happy NY and hope all had a lovely holiday. First time posting in this forum but an avid reader.

Alexandra is thriving. Was born 7lb7 and is now 9lb3 at 6 weeks tomorrow.

She LOVES breastfeeding which is magic after having a very colicky difficult baby to feed, first time around. I was in the UK (now in NZ) and had a real lack of support.

However, she's always wanted to feed fairly much constantly in the day (good night sleeper mostly, thx god otherwise don't know how I'd cope) and feeds still haven't spaced out as I had hoped they would have by now :/

She feeds mostly every hour and a half but in evenings, I am chained to sofa and feed constantly through to about 10.

This I can accept as completely normal in a BF baby but a recent development is that if she isn't feeding in the day, she's crying and really carrying on crying until I feed her. Can't lie her down on her back anymore in cot as she just will not settle. She is doing power-vomiting and I need to keep her upright after feeds for at least 10 minutes to make sure she doesn't be sick (as once she is sick, not only is there the mess, but she wants to start feeding from scratch again!!)

I've wondered about reflux but it's not every feed and it's not AT ALL during the night (can lay her down after a minute or two after her night feed and she's never been sick in her cot). I also wonder if she is comfort suckling but I hold her tight to me while she cries (don't want to leave alone to cry) and she goes for EVER! Only feeding works. Take her round in baby bjorn carrier and she often knocks off to sleep after 10minutes of pretty hard out crying but at least she is being cuddled.

Am a bit worried the constant feeding maybe is CAUSING the screaming between feeds - maybe it is a vicious cycle?

Really don't want to try a dummy as it was bane of my life with DD1 putting it back in on a night (and we have good night sleeping this time around)

Anyone had similar or got any ideas???!!!

Love Lizzie xoxoxo

PS - sorry for rushed post but got DD2 (aged 2) running around trashing the joint and can hear DD1 awake for the day now.

I know I'm bloody lucky to get good spells of sleep in the night but if I didn't, I have no idea how I would cope.

DD1 was a million times worse and from birth but I gave up BF at 6 weeks and always regretted it (although I could never have continued as we were as relationship under so much pressure and I was crying constantly)

This time around have better support, a baby who WANTS to feed and feel mentally stronger. Just would like to be able to go out without being anxious about feeds / being sick / screaming baby (not contented) once she wakes up after a 10-20minute catnap on me!!

Hope I don't sound like a moaner as I know from my OWN experience it can be much worse. I was really enjoying Alex but now at 6 weeks, I am worried there are a lot of similarities with the two babies and am so anxious we are heading in the same direction (as is OH!!)

She does pull off screaming sometimes too which DD1 did fairly much constantly as she could never finish or continue a feed properly even when made the (not so magic) switch to bottles and FF!

Am very proud of BF this time around, just would like to get back on track if it's possible and will not be giving up BF (no danger of that) but I feel a bit miserable about it all!

Growth spurt maybe? Think there is one at 6 weeks.

hi lizzie,

totally normal :) she's cluster feeding in the evening which is for a number of reasons. she's working hard to establish your supply, encouraging more milk production by all the feeding so its probably a growth spurt - you might see her grow out of her babygros soon, and the sucking is comforting to her and good for her jaw and facial muscle development.

dummy is your choice. personally i wouldn't, as she wants you not a dummy, but that is just IMPO . comfort sucking is entirely normal and healthy, and she will be getting extremely high fat milk while doing it so its a good thing .

this won't last forever. it all sounds normal and lovely, congratulations!

ps have you got one of those slopey chairs to put her in - maybe she wants to see .

i've just seen she pulls off screaming? is the flow quite fast for her? does she stop screaming if you just take her off?

I agree, 6 weeks is a classic growth spurt time, and you say it's a recent development, I would just go with what she wants and just when you think it'll never stop, she'll change again.
Congrats on more success this time, and keep positive!

Hi lizzi
I'm feeding my dd so typing on my phone with one hand, so apologies in advance for typos!
My dd was very similar to yours aged 6 weeks. She fed roughly every 1.5 hours too and cluster fed in the evenings, sometimes for hours without a break. I can assure you that it does get better. You will start to notice your dc going longer in between feeds. It will be subtle though not overnight.
With regards to the sickness, it may be reflux, but there are other symptoms too, so not necessarily reflux. My dd was very similar at 6 weeks. She was very "sicky". I think it was reflux although it was never formally diagnosed. I found that keeping her upright for roughly 20 minutes after each feed really helped, plus winding her more throughout a feed helped too. When my dd was windy she was sick more often. Infacol helped her alot. Sometimes she was only a little sick, other times the amount she was sick was spectacular...it would gush from her nose and mouth. The gp felt that it was just different variations of "normal" but I felt that she had other symptoms of reflux. At nighttime her symptoms were better...i didn't ever have to wind her if she fell asleep on the boob.

Sorry if this has been a ramble. I just want to reassure you that things will get better.

I'd agree with the above. The 6 week growth spurt was horrible here. I'd stick with putting her in the sling and remember it will pass. My DS's growth spurt lasted a week and a half, which I think is longer than many babies.

And early unsettledness peaks at around 6-8 weeks in many babies, so hopefully this is as tough as it gets.

Well done on getting this far. :)

Thanks ladies. Yep, I've got a LOT of milk (LC thought that mightve been part of the problem with the pulling off & screaming with DD1) and I think it's coming out quick.

She is a voracious feeder so wonder if the being sick is from taking too much all at once? I don't think it's classic reflux whatsoever but it's disconcerting, all the same. Want to let her comfort suckle but I do worry that she's gutsing herself silly on the very available milk!

Thanks heaps for the replies so far. Crosses fingers for a growth spurt and change soon!!

Harverina - feeding & 1-handed typing too! We too have spectacular but not regular vomiting. Will stick with constant keeping upright (guts me to miss the milk-drunk sleepy nap-window though!!) and maybe I'll try infacol or gripe water as I too find the sickness is worse when windiness worse.

Cheers guys xo

Lizzie not sure what your experience is but we found it ok to feed to sleep without winding/sitting upright. Babies seem to be less windy when sleepy? It was mostly during more wakened feeds that I had to be more vigilant and keep my dd upright afterwards particularly in the morning as this was a huge feed and my milk gushed. Good luck, sounds like your doing a great job.

Ruby - is a slopey chair like a baby bouncer? I try to put her in this & do get 5-10 mins when awake. Maybes I'll go back to letting her try have a nap there. Am conscious of keeping on with the cot but there's only so many 'failed' nap attempts you (and they) can handle in a day!

hi lizzie, yes, one of those. really don't worry about where she naps at this stage. you can go back to getting her to sleep in her cot when she is older. and like you say, there is only so much they can handle. sometimes you just have to go with them.

the flow thing is hard - she will cope better as she gets bigger. she might be better at night as it is quiet and she can focus on the gulping she has to do . and i'm sure i've read somewhere - possibly jack newman - that if you keep them on they won't be sick because the muscles in the throat keep working to move the milk down rather than up (like a peristalsis type action) and the extra time they are on, the stomach will be emptying so when they eventually come off they are not so full of milk. you can also try reclining slightly so she is drinking from above rather than below. if you were trying to gulp while lying on your back (like she might be depending on how she is angled) it would be a lot harder than to gulp while leaning forward iyswim. (not sure that makes sense!)

sounds like you are doing a fab job anyway so nice one

She has thrown up once just as she was coming off the breast still lying sideways (not pretty!) but only the once.

I keep getting tempted to sterilise the dummy we have in my bedside drawer lol...what I'm hoping though is that she will find her thumb and use that for comfort (6w today....maybe soon??) She does sometimes try & stuff the best part of her fist into/near her mouth so maybe she's keen?

Sigh - so hard to know anything for sure!

On the plus side (well, sort of), I buggered up my back climbing down then up 100 steep steps carrying baby in carseat (so dumb but it was a bit of a friend emergency) so when OH took toddler out for a few hours to give me and my back a rest, I sat in bed and fed her nigh on constantly for two hours. She then got super mega sleepy so put her down and she's done over an hour in cot yes!