Must bite tongue

[Zimm]

A school friend on FB is posting that her baby was up for fives hours last night, grizzling. He is six weeks old. So more than likely it is the six week growth spurt, She has decided to try and put him into a four hour routine of 6oz she is EFF. Comparing this to my daughter's six week spurt where she BF constantly it seems so wrong. Not the FF in itself of course - that is her choice - but trying to force a young, growth spurting baby into a routine. I wish there was better education for formula feeders around growth spurts and demand feeding - rather then people simply following the schedules on the back of the boxes :-(

Think HVs play a big part in this. They're always recommending schedules for ff babies. I never told them how often dd fed when we moved to ff. In fact I think I may have lied and said she was on a 3-4 hour schedule.
I too think it's insane. I never go 4 hours without food or drink so why would I expect a tiny baby too?!

don't bite your tongue then! reply on there saying "oh it's prob a growth spurt, mine fed constantly for a while at that age"

i think that sometimes people have little support and rely on outdated advice from HV's or parents or whoever. sometimes they just need a heads up that there IS an alternative

of course, she may know this and still want to do it, which is up to her. but there is no harm you giving your opinion.

Aww bless, can't you say something in a nice way?

Something along the lines of pommedeterre last sentence?

I've had to delete one of my fb "friends" when she complained her baby was drinking 3oz of formula every 2 hours so she put him on hungry baby formula at 2 weeks old. Then at 6 weeks when he was "still" waking up twice a night started weaning him on baby rice and rusks. Now at 4 months is on '3 full meals a day with 2 snacks, and she's very proud of her little man'

I couldn't say anything coz I wouldn't have been very polite but lots of other people did and her reply was "my baby, my choice"

So I just deleted her.

I posted a link about growth spurts, didn't feel I do much more. Apixie - that is a shocking level of education on your friend's part - how dangerous!

Nowt wrong with a routine if it works. All my FF kids were on a 4 hour schedule from 3 weeks old and I could set my clock by them. They're all happy and healthy and the weight they should be.

APixie I had a similar situation with my sil (db's dp). I was quite at the time and very worried for the baby tbh. I was grateful for the support I got on here.

My nephew was apparently "advanced" and needed hungry baby milk soon after birth. Sil then claimed that the hv had told her to give him rusk at around 11/12 weeks.

It was really really hard and I do get on with sil but she got the idea into her head that this was the right way for her ds. In desperation I tried to suggest different options and I was diplomatic but she carried on.

I suggested seeing another hv or even gp to double check they really were advocating gluten (rusk) at 12 weeks, or indeed any solids. I suggested more frequent bottles of formula, but she was obsessed that he had to sleep 12-13 hours per night because he was so "good"

Obviously a routine does work for some babies. My own dd1 was ebf for 5 months and slept through (properly through, 12.5 hours) at 3 months old. Shame dd2 had her own ideas about routine.

So, you are assuming something (a growth spurt) about someones baby, and judging thier parenting methods (routine), based on:

1 - a comment of facebook?
2 - your childs 6 week growth spurt experience?

You then assume FF mums need educating, rather then parents full stop, about demand feeding and growth spurts?

Alf THRIVED on a routine. Never ever once has he showed a single sign of needing extra feeds/a gowth spurt. So just because your child needed extra feeding at 6 weeks it may be worth remembering that not all do.

By all means mention growth spurts, but dont judge a mother because they chose a different route to you.

Toddlerwrangler - I'm not judging her as a person, but commenting that she could benefit from some education about typical development paths. Yes, not all children show growth spurt symptoms, but most do. Her six week old had previously been sleeping through, so 5 hours grumbling could very likely be attributed to a growth spurt. And I do stand by 4 hours being too long between any type of feed, when that feed is also the baby's drink. No adult or child would go that long. Yes some babies will cope fine, I have a friend who will drink about half a glass of water over 3 hours, I expect she was a four hour baby! We all have different hydration needs. But I do believe most humans need a drink more then once every 3 hours when awake.

You see I don't get this about ff mothers simply following instructions or this need for better "education" for ff. I have ff 2 babies from the word go, demand fed both of them and am fully aware of growth spurts. Fully intend to do the same with baby due in 7 weeks. I didn't use MN with first two pregnancies and still managed to cope with the complications of making up sterile feeds, cleaning bottles, teats etc.

There you go Zimm - you have made up your mind about how babies, including this one, need feeding.

Never mind what the mother knows?!

Zimm, I think you're making many assumptions here! It's perfectly acceptable for a FF baby to be on a 4 hour schedule. I gave my babies water if they were thirsty in between feeds, and believe it or not, they would let me know. Just because you've done a bit of reading up does not make you a superior or more knowledgeable parent. I think you need to butt out of her parenting and carry own doing your own.

From a mother of FOUR perfectly healthy children who were FF.

Oh, and btw, my 18 year old lad started weaning on Farley's rusk at 9 weeks. Guess what - he survived!

I know people who only breast fed every four hours. It is not just formula feeding mums who do this. In fact I fed formula on demand with my first baby. It is an obsession with spacing feeds that I find problematic.

If your baby is happy and contented feeding every four hours then great. If not then feed them fgs.

I think with regards to growth spurts she just meant that FF are less likely to know about growth spurts as BF mothers normally learn the hard way about them. Seems like people get flamed for suggesting there should be more support for FF and flamed if they don't.

I also don't recollect references by OP to formula=unhealthy.

Mother doesn't always know best, I've made some mistakes regarding feeding LO and have been happy to have learnt different things.

sigh the point I was trying to make is as Penguin mentions - that there DOES seem to be naff all education for FF but loads of for BF - which is wrong. BF mums have cafes, clincis etc where as FF mums seems to be reliant on feeding guidelines from packets. I know this from personal experience - DD was mix fed for the first 3 weeks and i had no clue or support in making up formula, how much to give etc but there were legions of people giving me BF info. I only know about growth spurts etc from BF sites and books.

Anyway i won't post of this thread again. I was just expressing my frustration at hearing something which sounded so well intentioned (she sound like a great mum) but was quite possibly misinformed (e.g. no knowledge of possible growth spurt behaviour). I didn't mean to start a debate.

Yes and my point zimm is that I disagree with you, I asked midwives, hvs etc was I making up formula correctly and they gave me the info. In fact when midwife came out to visit me the day I was released from hospital she asked me to describe how I was making up formula, she had boxes etc on forms to tick to make sure I understood what I was doing. And when I had dd2 a few years later midwives, hvs double checked that I was aware that guidelines re making up formula to store had changed.

I didn't have sisters, friends etc to ask, I was the first to have a baby and anyone else I knew bf. But I asked the health professionals as it is their job to help.

Why on earth would you give a 9 week old rusks??

There are lots of stories on here by people who are given no info from midwifes on FF (even though it's against guidelines)

I have read them too, Penguin and I don't understand why they don't say "hold on a minute, do your bloody job", although I am in NI and we do have a higher than average ff rate (although that may be changing), so maybe the midwives are more used to handing out advice.

Although to be fair I can be a bit arsey and having waited ages to have dd1 no-one was going to talk down to me about how I was feeding

I think there needs to be a Banksy-esque formula awareness drive. Formula and its preparation is so ridiculously underground. How about a few of us get together and mock up some ads? No, I'm not serious, but honestly find the rules against formula ads paternalistic, backward and counter-productive.

we've had this argument on here before though

what other information do you need in regard to FF, that isn't on the side of the packet?

I agree wholeheartedly that midwives/hv's/gp's... any HCP in fact, ought to be willing and able to give out the most up-to-date advice on formula feeding. it's important that everyone feeds their baby safely, however they do it

but I really don't know what other information you need. and yes, I have FF a baby

I FF on demand but by six weeks he was noticeably demanding every 3-4 hours. So it did look like a routine but wasn't one really.