Position and latching for older/bigger babies

[Porcelain]

DS is 4 1/2 months, and enormous, very tall, all arms and legs flailing everywhere.

He seems to have lost his nursing reflexes, he struggles to find the nipple, and often attempts to latch on to my arm, stomach, face, whatever he can reach. Sometimes he seems oblivious to the proximity of his dinner, and will cry and cue for hunger when all he needs to is turn his head slightly, and it's there.

He's also getting really awkward to position, he's very strong, sits with very little support, arms and legs flailing everywhere, punches me in the chest, headbutts me in the face, all that stuff. He seems to have taken against lying horizontally to feed unless he is sleepy, he will be calm, but looking peckish, then I lay him down to nurse and he starts squealing and thrashing about. His arms and legs get everywhere and I have to be careful not to trap them in odd positions or pulling them the wrong way.

He feeds OK lying down, if he is calm and hungry (otherwise he will latch on, then turn his head with my nipple in his mouth until it comes free - ouch) if he is chilled out he will also feed sitting by my hip, facing me, but that's variable and takes space. Sometimes biological nurturing kind of works, he will kneel next to me and lean over me to feed.

We are clearly going through a transitional phase from passive newborn to lively, crawling nutbag, but I'm not sure how to manage him. It's really frustrating when he is clearly hungry, but refuses to stay latched on in a position that has previously worked for us.

So, any tips for positioning a big, lively, curious baby who wants to be upright? I've trawled Kellymom, but could only find info on initial positioning

as far as possible, remove all distraction (turn the TV off, go to a quiet room, no talking to anyone else)
when mine is complaining about being fed "like a baby" then i can usually get her to feed by sitting on the floor with my legs loosely crossed, her sitting in the middle facing at right angles to me, then leaning her back a little to get her attached, and supporting her on my knee , arm around her head / shoulders.
if she is hungry she settles down quickly. if she is messing around then i don't pursue it, i wait until a bit later.

we only started doing this at about 7 months but the distraction phase started a lot earlier. there is so much else going on that they want to know about!

if you don't get many other suggestions, maybe try a breastfeeding support group, where you might find other mothers of older babies, who have probably got thier own solutions

You could try feeding with your DS sitting astride your leg facing you like you were playing horsey, or perhaps try a nursing necklace or special toy (smallish) to keep his hands (and brains) occupied whilst he feeds.

Or, conversely retiring to a quiet dim room might help? Or carrying in a sling whilst feeding?

Sometimes if my older babies were fractious whilst feeding I would read them a story or sing nursery rhymes whilst they fed - usually repeating ones like 'Rock a bye baby' or 'Horsey, horsey don't you stop' (though don't recommend doing the actions to the last one whilst feeding!

DS went through a distractible phase where I had to feed in the most dull environment possible. I couldn't even read or mn (tough times!) because he would writhe around to see what was going on. He was a bit older than yours but it did pass.

Thanks ladies, he is a bit distractable, sometimes I can't even read my phone (though he's obsessed with my phone, I guess he wonders why he can't play with the toy I seem to like best - I read books on it).

He's too tall for the horsey one now even if I support my breast, the nipple only gets to his neck, I tried putting him on the opposite leg and leaning him, but he didn't like that either.

I also think perhaps I need to try spacing his feeds a bit more, when we are at home he tends to snack, but if we are out, or he is having a long nap (not routine, but some days he does), he will hang on and take longer, less frequent feeds. I sometimes wonder whether he snack feeds for something to do. I might start keeping a note of feed times so I can find more confidence to leave it if he is messing. I should probably be less boring and get out and about with him more to get him into the habit of waiting.

Porcelain if you think getting out will help why don't you check out the local Playgroups, Library, Swimming Pool, LLL, NCT etc and see what they've got on offer and then decide what you want to do?

He might go longer, you get out of the house and get some adult conversation and you might make a friend or two along the way

Kellymom has some information on feeding a distractible baby. It's really common around 4 months (and around 8-10 months too).

Thanks Jilted, we have been doing the rounds of the babygroups trying to find one that works for us, the snow and christmas put that to the back burner for a while. The Breastfriends one is good, but clashes with meeting up with my NCT classmates (we meet weekly), the nearest LLL is an hour away, but I am seriously considering it as the bf rate locally seems to be really low, at the Sure Start groups I have been to there are often only one or 2 of us bfing. We did swimming, but it was really early in the morning, and DS is not a morning person, it interrupted his post brekkie nap! I'm looking for another class. WE also just this morning got an invite to the baby massage class I applied to when he was 5 weeks old, so that's something else.

It's less that he is majorly distractable, more that he won't settle comfortably. At his worst he's not looking around, I go to latch him on and he screws up his face, screams, kicks out, arches his back, punches me (and I have a sternum piercing so that is really not fun). On a really bad day he will be crying and apparently hungry, but refusing to get into a feeding position or latch on. If he is playing and being silly, that's kind of ok, I usually make a game of it until he is tired/hungry enough to comply. Today when he was doing it he seemed overtired, I rocked him to sleep and he woke up and fed. Sometimes he fills his nappy after a bout, then settles, which makes me think I might be misinterpreting tummyache.