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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I know this has ben done a million times before. MIL and bfing beyond 1year

14 replies

MummyBerryJuice · 30/12/2010 19:02

My MIL and I have a good enough relationship, in that we get on but we are both careful of one another and as such she would struggle to question my decisions to my face but...

DH has let it slip that she doesn't 'think' that DS should still be having breastmilk. It oesn't help that we co-sleep and he still doesn't sleep through either, nor that he has an erratic appetite for solids. He has recently turned one, but she would have said this when he was probably around 10 months old. (She also thought it would be a good idea for me to give hime some Farex (?) or mashed banana at 6 weeks old - until her SIL told her that it is no longer recommended!)

Anyhoo - does anyone know of any good, (preferably NHS) consise leaflets to support 'extended' breastfeeding. DH apparently wrote her an email at the time telling her to butt out! But I would like to have 'proper' information at the ready in case she does start to question as I can become quite flustered when challenged.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 30/12/2010 19:13

Well dnoeour DH for telling her to butt out! In so many of the "million times" this has been done before the DH is unsupportive or just weak.

Original poster
MummyBerryJuice · 30/12/2010 19:31

I know Blush am very proud of him (and grateful he is so obviously 'on my side') it helps that we discussed natural term bring before DS was born and that he is well aware of the department of health recommendations. (I think he also appreciates the instant soothing that it brings especially in the middle of the night Grin).

I just think that if she is starting to say things like this already, it won't be very long before she works up the courage to question this to my face - and I want to be well prepared.

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 30/12/2010 20:16

Well done for bfing for this long and well done to your DH too Grin.

Would the "WHO recommends bfing for a minimum of 2 years" work?

There are a couple of reasons why bfing past a year is good for you and DS here on the NCT website and there is some info on the benefits of bfing past 2 years here on Kellymom.

DJAngel · 30/12/2010 22:58

Hope it works with this link, couldn't quite find it from link above but great website with lots of stuff..
I just read through this and lots of really positive stuff re extended breastfeeding..for your mil to digest!
www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html
Good luck!

Icoulddoitbetter · 30/12/2010 23:26

Good luck, but I think you'll struggle! My MIL has said quite a few times that the benefits of BF are well over by now (DS is 14months). Even my mum thinks this after hearing "something on the radio".
My argument will always be how can milk from the child's mother that is designed specifically for him, be less good than other milk and fluids that aren't? Also whenever I get ill or a bad cold (like now) I make sure that I point out that DS is fine / only has sniffles because of my boob juice. How annoying am I?!!!

PenguinArmy · 31/12/2010 01:28

It doesn't help that extended BF is often blamed for all kinds of things.

I'm sure we're heading into this territory soon. MIL thinks there is something wrong with DD because she doesn't sleep through and keeps telling us to go to a doctor. (Both hers slept through from 6 weeks)

JiltedJohnsJulie · 31/12/2010 08:47

Penguin your MIL wouldn't have liked me or my DH then. Apparently we were both ff and both our Mums have told us that we didn't sleep through until 4. That's 4 years not weeks.

My sister was BF and slept from 6 weeks Grin

pommedeterre · 31/12/2010 08:56

Exactly JJJ - a lot seems to be made of bf = not sleeping but in many cases it's just not true. I know my DB ff from day 1 didn't sleep through until he was 2 and I know some lucky ladies who had ebf babies sleeping through from 2 months or so.
Babies given solids at 6 weeks (my MIL followed the same principles as yours OP but with RUSKS) are perhaps more likely to sleep through as all that effort to digest gluten/crap/sugar might knock them out a bit? That however obviously does not make it right!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 31/12/2010 08:59

No it doesn't make it right I agree. I try to point out that its not natural either, a baby who is knocked out with all that stuff in their tummy can't wake to cry if there is something wrong whereas a bf baby can.

TheFeministParent · 31/12/2010 09:03

Do you know what I think you should forget the arguments and just stick to 'because dc wants it'...then there is no argument. If you start trotting out fact that gives fuel to argue against (even though it's right). So be strong OP and just don't let it get to you.

llareggub · 31/12/2010 09:04

My MIL and I have come to a truce on this. She doesn't refer to it and I don't mention it to her. I fed DS1 until he self-weaned at around 2.9 years, 3 months after his baby brother was born. DS2 is still feeding at 20 months and I intend to carry on until he decides enough is enough.

She was very uncomfortable with breastfeeding at first, and bought bottles and kept going on about whether he'd had enough or not. She has been far better with DS2, and hasn't really mentioned it. She does get a bit sniffy when I mention being up in the night feeding so we just don't now.

It is no one else's business how you feed your child, is it?

MrsGetoutClaus · 31/12/2010 09:10

Here is a link to the ABM website section on feeding your toddler. It mentions the WHO and DOH but may not be 'official' enough for your MIL.

Here's a bit from UNICEF about research done into academic achievement in babies exclusively breastfed for 6 months or longer.

Not found a DOH one, I don't think there is one, I would have come across it at work if there was.

Start4life might have something in it. That's a government organisation and is linked with the NHS.

Just ignore any negative comments. You're the parents and therefore you make the decisions, no one else does. You do whatever feels right and natural for you and just smile, nod and ignore any advice given that you don't agree with.

Keep breastfeeding for as long as you and your baby want to. You are doing a brilliant thing.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 31/12/2010 09:15

I think part of the problem is that for previous generations women were taught how to parent by their families and the MW if they had one, and had no or very little access to information. In fact there was very little research done anyway. Now, much more research has been done and we have instant access to it. So, we are questioning our MWs and not doing what Mum or MIL might wish and they could feel a little put out?

Sorry, am just rambling now Grin

dessen · 31/12/2010 09:24

It's good your dh is supportive & you're getting info for her but just ignore her views. Do what your & your ds want to do.

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