boob all night - is this making my ds miserable? i am in tears!

[greeneone12]

So sorry but just wanted some words if wisdom if possible. At night we cosleep and my dd has my boob near enough all night. When she is not feeding she is comforting and I don't know when one feed starts and other ends as she is getting milk on tap while I doze.

I am worried this is making her miserable during the day as she cant have the constant comfort. She does have happy hours and smiles etc but i feel that letting her comfort all night makes her frustrated during the day.

Sorry if this makes no sense but I just worry i am making her miserable. Also worried that feeding has no pattern at night as milk is on a constant slow drip meaning she will never settle through the night without me.

Tempted to switch to bottle. She is 2 months.

Any words of wisdom would be most appreciated. Merry Christmas!

X

I'm no expert but didn't want tour message to go unanswered on Christmas day as you found pretty miserable. I don't think co- sleeping and allowing your DD free access during the night should have any bearing on how she is during the day. My DD has nights like that and I end up reluctantly co-sleeping ( reluctant because I'm always scared of the douvet going over her and I always end up stiff). However, she doesn't want to be attached during the day and will go down for naps in her cot without being fed to sleep. I'll probably get shot for suggesting this but have you tried a dummy during the day if she is a particularly sucky baby? DD often starts wanting to suck when she is getting tired but I didn't want her to be reliant on me or get confused over when she was feeding and when she was comforting so I give her a dummy when she is getting tired and thus usually helps her to fall asleep without too much trouble.
hth merry christmas

It's still early days, she's fine, I bet she loves being by you all night. Don't switch to a bottle for this reason. The feeding all night is fine, as long as it's fine for you.

2 months is so young, soon she will settle into a more regular feeding pattern during the day. It sounds as though you are doing the very best for your dd. Try not to worry and enjoy these precious times with her.

my ds is 4 months and does this,he is fine and dandy during the day,and we both get really good sleep at night without all the getting up to feed malarcky!
i did the same with dd for 6 months,she then slept in a bedside cot.now at 2.4 she sleeps in a big girl bed in her own room.

you are imo doing a wonderful thing for your dd.
if you are happy, keep it up as long as you like!

You are meeting her needs for food and closeness to you at night. That won't make her miserable in the day - it will have a positive effect on her overall. Reducing her comfort in the night wouldn't mean she needs any less comfort during the day IYSWIM.

Being miserable at this age is perfectly normal - new baby unsettledness is supposed to peak around 6-8 weeks in many babies.

Not having a feeding pattern (day or night) is totally normal at this age. It'll change lots before you know it.

Whether you co-sleep or not, she will settle at night without you at some point. At this age she's so little that you really don't need to worry about 'bad habits'. If it's working for you, stick with it. If it's not, then you can make gentle changes at that point.

I'd recommend reading Deborah Jackson's Three in a Bed - it would probably reassure you about just how well you're meeting your DD's needs for bf, comfort and cuddles. I think she's a lucky baby. :)

Merry Christmas!

I can't see anything from your post that would indicate you have a problem. The on/off nursing during the night is normal and ideal. I can't see how your meeting her needs so well during the night would make her miserable in the day. You are overthinking this. There have been plenty of nights where I have gone to sleep with a DC latched on and then woken up in the morning with DC still attached. It's fine, honestly.

Tryharder, do you feed from the same side all night then? is that ok to do? beginner here on a fast learning curve!

I start on one side and then when I wake up.....or when dd wakes up I swap sides. That's my worry though..that I am feeding her when she might not be hungry and she is getting a drip of milk all night. I can't see how she will ever sleep without getting that drip feed if that makes sense. Last night she slept from 12 to 5am but I think that is due to the glass of red wine I had!

Hi greenone, I think it is quite common for us first-time mums to worry that they are 'just sucking for comfort' - not helped by the army of helpful grandmas, health professionals, total strangers and book authors seemingly queueing up to make us feel bad.

In reality, there is nothing in the least bit wrong with either feeding or sucking for comfort at nighttime. In fact both are very important to such a young baby. And so much more convenient to satisfy both normal needs with one boob! If you go down the bottle route, night-times will mean getting out of bed to make bottles and endless dummy replacements. Much tougher.

Good luck, 2 months is a really tough time sleep-wise but things will get better as your baby matures - promise!!

I totally agree. If you're happy with it, it's perfect and completely natural - and she will learn to sleep alone just fine :)

You're doing a great job building up your milk on the night-time (night feeds really help to do this) and you'll probably keep the old Aunt at bay, too, which is great esp if you bled at birth and need to build up iron stores.

Babies love to suck and sucking for comfort, which culturally we have been told to not allow, is a wonderful to make them feel secure and loved. It's the secure, well loved baby (from whatever route this is shown) who has the easiest time taking the rout to independence as they are secure in you being behind them.

Sounds lovely to me - if you're happy with it. 12 to 5 is a great sleep - she's obviously feeling lovely in bed with you. And she's probably not getting a drip-drip. She's probably butterfly sucking which is less likely to create a let-down, then actively feeding when she needs it for food.

I didn't co-sleep, so I don't have personal experience, but I did want so say it isn't at all a reason to switch to formula. I may be wrong, but it sounds a bit like you are findin4 it hard. If that is the case, perhaps you could try one putting your baby into a cot right next to you, so she can't feed all night, and you get a bit of space too.

I love both of my babies more than anything, I love breast feeding, and I love cuddling my babies in bed. But I would have found co-sleeping hard because to properly sleep, I need space!

What ever you decide, remember that a happy mummy goes a long way to making a happy baby.