It's time to admit (semi) defeat

[PeanutButter99]

Hi all. DS is 5 months and I went back to work when he was 3 1/2 months. The freezer ebm ran out a few weeks ago so when I'm at work he gets bottles of formula. I feed him in the morning, the evening, before bed and in the night if needed. I express once at lunch time. I'm in the office 4 days a week.
DS is a very happy smiley baby. However for the last few weeks he's been edgy and whiney and not playful and doesn't nap well when I have him. He only feds for about 5 minutes at a time and cries and thrashes about on the breast. However when I give him a bottle of formula (I can't stand the thought of him being hungry) the change is amazing. He turns back into my happy baby when he has a full tummy. :)
I think the time has come for me to properly accept that I can't feed him myself on the days that I look after him. :(
How do I go about this? I still want to feed him morning, evening and through the night. Do I still have to express at lunch time? I'm off for a week at xmas so I'll be with him for 11 days in a row. Can I wait until after the break?

can you try calling one of the breastfeeding helplines or a local breastfeeding counsellor/peer supporter? I imagine there are plenty of options still available to you that don't necessarily involve completely giving up breastfeeding....
i would offer you advice if i knew enough about this scenario but i don't, so hoping to bump this for you for someone who does know more about it.
but you have done brilliantly so far by the sounds of it, and whether it's through mixed feeding or supplemental feeding or something i'm sure there is a way of you carrying on if that is what you want to do
good luck

Thanks Merry. I don't intend to give up bf completely, just during the day. I can't stand to see DS hungry. It just feels weird for me to be giving DS formula plus it's a PITA to make up and plan!
And I'm quite sad about it.

I don't have experience of mixed feeding, but I have bf two babies and have experienced this behaviour too, so I wouldn't assume that this is your supply dwindling

Have your periods come back yet? I found with mine that they were both especially prone to unsettledness just before I got my period

Fwiw a bf counsellor (on bf helplines) would be able to talk you though your options in a non judgy way

good luck and do not despair

I'm on my period now. This is the 3rd one. Does it make a difference?

It always does for me. I find that after a couple of days my supply settles down and goes back to normal, but DD always seems quite frustrated bfing. Perhaps give it a couple of days. Your DS may be a bit frustrated as he knows he can get it easier from a bottle. :)

I think the hormone change interferes with the letdown reflex, so your milk is there but it can take a bit longer for it to let down and be available iyswim

personally this was an issue for maybe a couple of days per period, just before then at the start

I also found it more sensitive

Basically, there could be lots of reasons why your dc is acting this way, and a bf counsellor who has extensive experience and training can help you work through what might be happening and things you can do

whatever you decide to do re bf they will not make you feel crappy or judged, really

interesting about the period, mine came back at 5 months despite excl bfing but am interested about the unsettledness.... i don't know if it makes a difference but i'll keep an eye on DD2 until period arrives, she's 9 mo and certainly unsettled at the mo....but then it could be teeth... or a million other things
let us know if you do chat to a bfing cllr, am interested to see what advice they give you

But that's the problem giraffe, I don't have a couple of days as I go to work and he's not feeding. I only have time ti express once and this is the reason I think my supply can't cope.
When I went back to work I could express 6 -8oz in that one lunch time session. Now I'm lucky to get 2oz!

Can you give me some bf counsellor numbers? I've never phoned them. I used my friend in Canada as my go to person and mumsnet for advice!

I don't know if this will make you feel better, but in the same position I would (did with DD1) give formula in the day too. However, I am no way qualified and the only thing I regret now is not asking for help from anyone with more experience ( didn't know about MN and had forgotten about bf lines). If it was me I would speak to someone in RL. Whatever you do you should never forget that you've given ur baby a wonderful start (repeats to self, again).

www.howbreastfeedingworks.com/ numbers on right hand side.

Good luck

0300 100 0212 National Breastfeeding helpline.
0300 330 0771 NCT breastfeeding helpline
0845 120 2918 La Leche League

Thanks Giraffe. In RL I'm assuming that stands for real life?) I'm the only one who bfs, except for my friend but she's in Canada. Mum bf for 6 weeks then went back to work and all my SILs went straight to ff. I thought I'd be pleased if I got to 6 weeks but now I'm here I definately want to continue. I do feel good, until I come on mumsnet sometimes and they're all ebf til 6 months and don't own any bottles!!

ah too slow!

Thanks. I'll give them a call tomorrow. Got to have dinner now.
By the way, how do I mark this page so I don't lose the numbers?
Do I just add it to my favourites or do I do something within mumsnet?

RL does mean real life! You've done really well to get this far, I think there are lots of us in the 'middle' we just lurk rather than post! I don't know many who bf and no-one who still is at 15mos (dd2). I like reading on here to remind myself I'm not alone! Hope you get a happy outcome.

You can add it to ur favourites or when ur logged on u can access it via the 'I'm on' link at the top.

I know what you mean. I like to read on here to remind myself that I'm not wierd cos I bf my 5 month old son.
No idea what they're all going to think if I do get to over a year!

Perhaps up expressing at work to twice a day to increase supply? What sort of pump do you have - maybe you need to get a better one. Also breastfed babies should only have newborn teats so they have to work hard for their bottle too.

Mixed feeding didn't work for me either, similar DS2 lost interest in breast once he was used to bottles, so wouldn't feed for any length of time, supply gradually diminished. He was 7.5 months and I didn't mind too much.

I went back to work at 5.5 months but from 5 months I was feeding him 2 hourly (or more) day and night to keep up with his appetite.

He's probably only getting the 2oz when he feeds from you (maybe a bit more as he is more effective than breastpump)...

Have you read the kellymom link on 'how to bottlefeed the breast fed baby'

This combined with a new born teat worked well for us.

However there was a month or two where she was incredibly fussy on the breast, which I think is due to slow letdown on my half. Found just had to wait it out for a few days and then it was OK again, but I had started all the other things as well.

Still goes to pot when she's teething, but I just don't give her bottles if I'm here now. Feel a bit guilty, but I know she's not starving and it's better in the long run.

Anyway sympathies and it is possible. I went back to work ft (5 days + more) at 4 months and we're at 9 months now. Work has a double pump though, would be lost without it.