BF'ing: Ready to throw in the towel

[Boardybird]

Long story made as short as poss:

After DS was born I had sore/cracked/bleeding nipples for the first 3 weeks until HV spotted a 'easily missed' tongue tie. This was snipped but not before a large split appeared under my right nipple.

DS fed better thereafter, but the split still hadn't healed after a further three weeks and both nipples were really sore and red. DS's tongue tie cut was still white and large. Came on mumsnet and found what I suspected was the answer: thrush.

The Dr agreed with me and prescribed nystatin for DS and Daktarin cream for me, found on here that was likely not to be the best treatment so went back to Dr's armed with info. Long story short, stuck to my guns and was given prescription that I wanted. DS's tongue tie cut practically disappeared overnight. Thrush on nips took a little longer, but split healed within a few days.

A few days later, DS now 7 weeks catches a cold which turns into Bronchilitis. He is admitted to hospital where I am given a super duper pump in order to express so that he can be fed. My breasts seem to go into overdrive and produce lots of milk. After expressing I notice that my nipples are again sore. DS recovers and after a few days in hospital is able to start feeding from me. Now tho he is fussing and pulling on and off during a feed. After feeding I notice that my nipples are extremely sore and white. Again I find the answer: vasospasm.

Now he is 11 weeks old, last week the vasospasm finally stopped but he is still pulling off/fussing/crying and sometimes screaming whilst trying to feed. After looking at Kellymom tonight I'm pretty certain that this problem is now oversupply/forceful letdown. I tried positioning him differently tonight but he was still struggling.

I want to breastfeed, I really do...but I never thought it would be this tough. DS seems to dread my breasts now and after going through so much pain and discomfort, now to finally be pain free he doesn't want it :(

I'm almost ready to give up...Kellymom has some suggestions, but none of them are a quick fix, and I'm not sure I have the energy/willpower to try. DH (who has been super supportive throughout) suggested trying nipple shields to try and reduce the effects of the forceful letdown. Seemed to work for DS at his last feed, but will the force of my letdown reduce over time?

If not, I think I may just switch to formula and actually relax and enjoy feeding my baby.

I had this problem boardy. I sometimes hand expressed (well, they expressed themselves tbh as the letdown was so fast) for a wee bit into a muslin before a feed just to take the edge off it.

Like you I had horrendous nipple damage and did a lot of pumping with a hospital grade electric pump and I wonder if that stimulated my supply too much in those early weeks. I also had a few mastitis attacks because of over-supply.

The good news, yes it did calm down. My bf experience was not a happy one for the first 16 weeks, mainly due to cracks and pain, but after that it was absolute plain sailing and I bf ds for 14 months.

I'm reluctant to tell people who are having problems that it took so long for mine to be sorted out (and it wasn't anything I did - things got better on their own) because if someone had told me at 6 weeks that I had another 10 weeks of this to go I'd have...well I don't know what I'd have done! But I want you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and just because things are hard and have been so hard for you doesn't mean that soon it can't be the easy, simple thing you hoped bf would be.

Good luck

I will be shot down in flames for this I know, but I really struggled with BF and got to the point where I just dreaded DD waking up and would start crying my eyes out when I knew she was hungry and I would have to BF. I think it didn't help that I was ill throughout my pregnancy and was just so physically exhausted by the time DD was actually born.

I decided to express about 8oz a day as I read somewhere (I think Tracey Hogg) that 8oz gives babies the antibodies they require and went to FF for the rest of her nutrition.

It was the best decision I ever made, it meant that DH could help me out with feeds whilst I recovered and I no longer dreaded her waking up and I started enjoying her.

Life is too short, there are no medals in Motherhood, you have to do what feels right for you, you have done such a great job of BF him for 11 weeks, so he has a fantastic start in life, if I were in your shoes I honestly wouldn't have a problem going to FF.

Good luck whatever your decision.

Have you tried block nursing to reduce the oversupply?

I had a forceful letdown for a couple of weeks early on and would take ds off for a few moments at the beginning of the feed/when I felt the letdown so he avoided the first gush! Can't remember when I stopped doing it but it did resolve pretty quickly I think.

I haven't heard that 8oz thing before - but I would take anything Tracey Hogg says about breastfeeding with a big pinch of salt tbh!

Sounds like you have had a really hard time. I had forceful let down too, I agree with the suggestions of block feeding for oversupply and try hand expressing a bit when the let down is too much for your baby.
DD is 12 weeks now and seems to have learned how to deal with the letdown, if it is too much for her she just pulls off(calmly) waits a bit then has another go. That might repeat for a few minutes but then she stays on and finishes the job. :)

Thanks guys, I will keep trying. For both feeds this morning I have used a nipple shield which seems to have shielded DS from the effects of the fast letdown (lol @ the irony).

I will try the block feeding and see if I can bypass the letdown at first part of the feed. I just want to avoid the gulping/panicking/screaming that DS has been going through.

Suzi thanks for your encouragement!
Holly love the 'there are no medals in motherhood' comment, and you are ofc right :) if I can't get this sorted, I will consider the expressing/formula route.
MoonUnitAlpha Thanks, to know that it will hopefully resolve pretty quick with the block feeding is what I needed to hear right now.
Lilly I'd not had much luck with hand expressing until the last couple of days, so I'll keep trying that. I'm afraid my little DS doesn't pull off calmly, but perhaps after trying the above it might be a different story.

Just a note on the antibodies thing as it's not quite accurate. While SOME BM is ALWAYS better than none as it will provide some immunity, mixed feeding will strip the protective coating on the gut which is why babies who are not excluively BF are more prone to illness and allergies. From an immunity point of view BM protects from viral/bacterial attack in the first place (negated by mix feeding) and then if an attack takes hold the mother's antibodies kick in to fix it (this continues if some BM is fed).

So if you choose formula and you are able to offer some BM then you will be really helping your baby, but it won't be the same level of immunological support as if you EBF.

Block feeding should pretty quickly help things to settle down but take care not to get over-full while doing this as you don't want to add mastitus to the list. You may want to call the NCT bfing line for clear instructions (0300 330 0771). You have been absolutely put through the wringer and to still be BFing now is a massive achievement. You're over the worst but the peak of the hill is hardest to pass - but it will.

You may find it helpful to make a list of the pros and cons to you and your family of FF v EBF v mix feeding assuming that BF becomes as easy as it should be, to work out what is best for you.