Suddenly barely able to tolerate breastfeeding my 2 year old.

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She was 2 last month. I went through something similar a few months ago when she suddenly upped her demand and was feeding very often day and night.

I managed to stop the daytime feeds almost completely and was still feeding her to sleep at bedtime and when she woke (about 2 or 3 times) in the night.

Her latch had been terrible and she was biting, pinching, hurting me a lot.
We seemed to get that sorted and the last few months have been fine.

In the last few days though she is latching terribly. My nipples are sore. She is following me around asking for feeds all day and waking more at night.

She is not sick or teething so I don't know what is going on.

I am upset, she's upset. It is awful.
I just want to stop now but she is so attached to breastfeeding I don't know how to go about it.

Any advice, support, words of wisdom or sympathy welcome.

These are the tips I've read on Mumsnet

Distraction
Distraction
Distraction

Keep busy and on the move
Don't sit down!

Set some ground rules about breastfeeding behaviour (ie. if she bits or pinches etc. then you stop.)

I don't know if any of that is helpful. I'm sure someone much more knowledgeable will be along soon.

Hi ya,

I just wanted to post to give you some moral support as am going through something similar myself. My DD is 21 months and I have decided I have reached the end of my rope with BF. She, on the other hand, would happily carry on until she is 6 probably! But I feel that for the BF relationship to be a happy one, both partners need to be happy and sadly I need to be done and move onto the next stage.

After much thought, research, I have decided to cold turkey wean and by that I mean choose a date to stop and then stop all feeds. I know lots of people advise gradual weaning but because we have always fed on demand I thought this approach would be difficult and confusing for us both (and I have tried it - it didn't work)...So the date was going to be 27th Dec while DH is off work and can help with the nights for a few days. However DD and I have been struck down with the dreaded flu this past week and she has been feeding more than ever so I'm not sure if we will make 27th - hopefully, if we both kick this flu.

I am apprehensive about the weaning process and nervous as to how she will take it. I am just going to explain the milk is all gone, offer snacks, cows milk, water, cuddles etc...and hope she will accept it. I will use my electric pump to wean my supply until it dries up..

I am not sure if it will work - it may be a complete disaster - but I feel I have to try. Like you I have been getting nursing aversions and having an end date in sight has really helped me to grit my teeth and feed her when necessary etc..

I don't know if any or my experience will be of any use to you. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone in this. We had a tough start to feeding with latch problems etc and now it seems I am having problems at the other end of the scale with not knowing how to stop!

Good luck with whatever you decide and well done for reaching two years BF - that is such an achievement and don't lose sight of all you've done. If you need someone to chat though more, I would be happy to x It is REALLY tough the whole weaning thing and there is very little help or support for women on this.

Adding my support. I fed my dd till she was 2 - we night weaned first - was a few teary nights, i shush patted and she stopped expecting night feeds after about a week.

Then I tackled days - she got a feed first thing then 'no boob till bedtime'

Then she suddenly went off it for a couple of days, which I thought was strange but was quite pleased about - few days later I found out I was preggers When she asked again she was told she was a big girl now and offered cows milk.

It is really hard to finally make the decision to stop - but you have done brilliantly.
Christmas could prove a great distraction opportunity?

Good luck

Oh I feel for you.

I bf my first daughter until she was 2yo, she self weaned when I was about 5 - 6 months pg with her sister. I followed the 'don't offer/don't refuse' strategy and it all worked perfectly and felt very natural.

Thought it would be the same with dd2 - ha! She was also a biter and pincher and did not seem to want to stop bf herself as her sister had (I think the pg hormones probably change the taste of bm and that may have been a factor).

I had to be a bit more pro-active. I had a no biting or pinching rule - if she did, then that was the end of the feed - I would just say, OK there's no milk when I get bitten, let's do something else - a story and a cuddle for example.

I limited the times I would let her feed to evenings only, never in the night or during the day unless she was unwell. I used distraction a lot, always had other things to do, would offer cuddles, stories, drink of water, banana etc.

Ended up bf her until she was 3y6m, by that time she wasn't necessarily having a feed every evening. I think we went for a week or so without a feed and then I told her that was it and she was fine with it.

She asked again a couple of times over the next few months and I said all the milk was gone now, and she could have a drink of water or a banana and she accepted that quite happily.

Good luck.

Thanks for all the words of support.

A better day yesterday as we out all day and she doesn't tend to ask for feeds away from home.

The night was awful though. I fed her to sleep as usual. Then she woke around 10.30 but settled back to sleep in DH's arms and I took her down to bed when I was going around 11.30.

She woke shortly after that asking for a feed so I fed her. She fell asleep. Woke about 90 mins later looking for another feed. Iwas half asleep so fed her again.

Then she woke AGAIN and this time I refused and tried to settle her without a feed.

She was having none of it and screamed the house down. She settled a bit for DH bit it didn't last and when she asked again I fed her. I know it isn't right to refuse and then feed when she gets really upset but it is so difficult when you are exhausted.

She disturbs dd1 who then gets upset and it is a nightmare.

crazycoco I like your idea to wean cold turkey over Christmas. I think cutting back doesn't work for us. I have ordered a soft toy mouse for dd that looks like one she loves from a book we read.
I am planning on giving this to her, telling her she is such a big girl now she doesn't need her 'mi mi' as she calls it and hopefully with the new toy and loads of cuddles and love we can get through it.

Jules Well done you on 3.6 years. That is amazing.

wonderstuff Well done to you too. I know we are in a minority getting to two years and we should be proud of the achievemnt.

Could you be pregnant?

Lol - another 'mi mi'er here - that's what DS calls it :)

No definitely not pregnant In fact I think I feel like this when I have PMT. For some reason the last few months were ok but definitely very hormonal this month.

I'd never heard of another 'mi mi'er before. I used to think it was so cute when she started saying it but the novelty is wearing off now.

When we dropped nightfeeds I started not feeding before midnight, then 12.30 then 1am iirc by the time I got to 2am she stopped demanding to be fed. It was hard at first, but I did get results quite quickly and she started sleeping much better once we dropped the nightfeed.

Hi I am in the same boat my bb is now 13months and I cant bf any more. He bites, pinches and worst of all wakes up sometimes every 2hours for a feed during the night. I feel like everything on offer to mums to be is promoting and telling you how breast is best but not one of them offers good help and support for stopping. I am in alot of discomfort from the amount he is feeding and am back at work full time, short of asking my mom if she could have him for the first two nights I dont know what to do. I feel stuck.

Are you sure you're not pregnant? You sound like me when I got pregnant with DD1 when DS was 12 months. I didn't know I was pg for the first 11 weeks but suddenly just couldn't bear him feeding any more- was so sore.

The other is that maybe you have both had enough. I had one violent feeder, my DD2, and I can honestly say I do not know how I got to 24 months with her. The week before her 2nd birthday I said I thought she was a little bit old to be having mummy milk, she said "OK" in a chirpy voice, and that was it. She never asked again.

Weaning her (if that's what you want to do) may not be hell. Good luck.

firsttime Really interesting point! I'm just about to start peer support training and I will mention this to the (very highly trained) BFing nurses who run the course to see if we can include this.

To be fair, starting BFing is usually the part where most help is needed and is still sadly lacking in some places (not where I am - it's wonderful) and until that's really better established I suppose thinking about support at the other end is going to be minimal, as more mums wean happily than start to BF happily. Also, wherever there is support for starting BFing there will be support for stopping - NCT, LLL, ABM helplines for instance, your hospital may have BFing nurses and the Children's Centre may have a BFing drop in. HVs are mixed but some are excellent at offering advice.

But, advertising that help is available for all aspects of BFing is maybe something that needs doing.