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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding makes me cry from the pain

18 replies

cambodia · 11/12/2010 18:17

i've got a week old baby. i've had very sore nipples since the start. He's a very good feeder, but he's small and has a tiny latch. I am still in absolute breathtaking pain when he latches and then in pain during feed. Breasts still feel a bit engorged, hot and very sensitive. I cry when I feed because I'm in such pain and I've started to feel afraid of each feed. I've had great maternity support and I know I'm doing things right. I use lanosinh, flannels, cabbage, ice, massage - I've got it all going on.

Will it subside? What else can I do? I don't think I can go on for much longer but that really upsets me because I want to breast feed. I'll feel like I'm letting baby down

I don't know what to do. any advice?

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 11/12/2010 18:19

Congratulations on your DS

I don't have any useful advice but wanted to keep your thread bumped until some decent support comes along

Sorry you're in pain

tiktok · 11/12/2010 18:25

:( :(

Of course this needs to be fixed pronto.

Unexplained pain can be a result of tongue tie or other oral anomaly in the baby - has this been checked?

Mostly though it's just plain old 'baby not latching on' - have you tried biological nurturing which allows the baby to self-attach (google it)?

Hope you get help soon - a call to any of the bf helplines would be a good idea.

FairiesWearSnowBoots · 11/12/2010 18:25

Congratulations!!

I am happy to tell you that it will stop!! When I started it used to feel like someone stabbing a knitting needle into my breast every time he latched on, a few weeks in and there was no pain AT ALL!

The rock hardness also goes when your milk supply evens out :-)

You are doing really well, keep going!!

FairiesWearSnowBoots · 11/12/2010 18:27

I agree with ringing BF helplines to make sure that you have a good latch and that there are no other problems.

ceebs05 · 11/12/2010 18:27

my dd is 11 weeks old now and bfing was very painful to begin with, although it sounds like you are having a worse time than I did. I'm afraid I don't have any useful advice but just to say that for me it did get better. The first couple of weeks were tough and I did think about giving up but I'm so glad I didn't now.

fingers crossed for you that it starts to get easier soon, but don't beat yourself up if you have to stop

ConcreteElephant · 11/12/2010 22:32

Congratulations on your DS.

Just to throw another possibility into the mix - is there any chance you have thrush? I was on antibiotics for the three days before DD was induced, and this can somehow make baby vulnerable to thrush in the birth canal (this is my very basic understanding anyway!), then the baby can pass the thrush to you when breastfeeding...

When DD and I both had thrush, breastfeeding was torturous, absolutely toe-curling, it reeeeeeally hurt.

So definitely worth checking for symptoms - very easy to treat.

Best of luck with the breastfeeding, it's really worth all the effort.

Haggisfish · 11/12/2010 22:37

i agre with faireis - bf was really painful for me, too - i remember biting a cushion and yelping with every feed, but it got significantly easier after 6 weeks, and again after 3 months. the pain almost stopped totally by 6 weeks, but i still find let down a tiny bit sore - nothing unbearable though.

Good luck - I have really enjoyed breastfeeding, much to my surprise!

hellymelly · 11/12/2010 22:41

I found breastfeeding hideously painful for weeks at first,I used to tell myself I would just do one more feed,just one more,and each time that was how I got through it.I am still breastfeeding the child after that one,six years this week! So it does get easier,and it does stop hurting.My DD had a slight tongue tie,but we were told it would resolve over time as it wasn't a bad one,and it did just gradually get better.I also had possible thrush in my breast ducts.Anyway the feeling was like being cut.I would cling on to the chair and try and sob quietly! Stick with it,but see a lactation consultant privately if you ca,the one I saw really really helped.Good on you for keeping going,and honestly it will get better and stop hurting .And congratulations on the arrival of your baby!

browneyesblue · 12/12/2010 11:15

Poor you :( It sounds like you've done amazingly well to keep going.

I had a rough time to begin with too - I used to hope that DS would stay asleep so I wouldn't have to feed him, then feel horribly guilty about feeling that way. After a few weeks, I ended up expressing a little when things reached breaking point, just so I could give myself a bit of a break.

It turned out DS had a tongue tie (my poor mangled nipples were the giveaway - classic wedge-shape). Everything started to improve a bit anyway as he got larger, but once he was diagnosed by someone who knew what they were looking he had it snipped and things got better quickly.

I guess the main thing is to keep pushing for help/a solution until it's sorted. I know that's easier said than done when you're in the thick of it, but the sooner it's sorted, the sooner you can just enjoy your new DS (congratulations BTW).

The NCT BF helpline may be able to help: 0300 330 0771 (8am?10pm)

Good luck :)

CamperFan · 12/12/2010 11:34

Yes, it will get better! I am 7 weeks in and it is so much better. We've been through tongue tie and possible thrush, blocked duct, DS losing ability to latch after tongue tie was snipped, but it got better each week. So check for tongue tie or thrush, but tbh it can just be v painful first of all, esp latch on. It was at least 2.5 weeks before latch on was not excruciating. You are doing so well, just take it a day at a time. I took painkillers at regular intervals.

clarabellarocks · 12/12/2010 18:40

Have you got a BF Councillor or HV or midwife to check your latch? I have really sore nipples and everything I read said my latch was wrong but every midwife and HV has said it's fine (I didn't manage to BF very long with first so enlisting help everywhere I can this time!) Pleased to say it is feeling better than it did a few days ago.

They did suggest to me trying different positions which may be worth a go.

Good luck but please don't feel like you are a failure - you're doing great and if you feel you have no choice but to FF you wouldn't be a failure.

Porcelain · 12/12/2010 20:08

After you have got the latch checked etc, you may find you still feel some discomfort. I know DS had a phenomenal suck on him, and the first 5-10 seconds of a feed were quite uncomfortable, then the let down, which feels like a contraction in your boobs.

The good news is that it eases off, I was pain free by 6 weeks, but the initial vacuum baby thing eased earlier.

It is very important to make sure there is no treatable cause, but at the same time, when they tell you BF doesn't hurt if you do it correctly, that's rubbish, no one has ever sucked on your nipples that hard for that long before! The truth is that once established it shouldn't hurt (less a possible uncomfy letdown for some). I think new mums need to know that 1) they could well be doing it right and 2) it does get much easier.

peaky123 · 12/12/2010 20:11

it will get better, well done for getting this far, just keep going and it does become easier. I was i total agony, tears running down my face, toes curled tight wth pain, and it just gradually got easier, much better by 6 weeks and im still bfing at 7 months! Totally never thought that would be the case when i was dreading each feed and saying ''just keep going till the end of the day'' to myself!
Now am so glad i got the support i needed to keep going, as i love it now.
I had a nct counsellor come and sit with me whilst i fed, she offereed advice on latch, positioning etc, and was v helpful and reassuring.
Keep asking for support if you need it. And congratulations on your new baby!

LifeForRent · 12/12/2010 20:52

2 cold cabbage leaves from the fridge into your nursing bra should help with the engorging pains :) You could try the LLL (le leche league
www.laleche.org.uk/) they're excellent, and their website has great tips!

Best of luck!

LeakMyWiki · 12/12/2010 20:57

Oh poor you. I remember crying when I knew I had to feed again... It does subside. As per all other advice, check the latch. But, for me, even though the latch was perfect, it bloody well HURT! I used to do labour breathing when latching on- long slow out breaths. I decided to just get to 3 weeks and then I would give up. I kept on thinking just get to 3 weeks, just get to 3 weeks. And then by the time we got to 3 weeks, it was pain-free and I fed for a year.

twirlymum · 12/12/2010 21:11

I never understood the expression 'toe curling pain' until I breastfed DS. I had awful blood blisters.
I persevered for three weeks, but I got so anxious before each feed I was having panic attacks. I gave up
good luck

MrsSnaplegs · 13/12/2010 15:48

Cambodia your post could have been mine until an hour ago I have just had a visit from bf support worker who was fantastic even if she did call them booby woobies ! Please if you are still in pain speak to a specialist support person and ask for either a home visit or see someone face to face in rl - I thought the pain was normal and something I just had to get through. This isn't my first child btw and I can't believe that I put up with the pain etc for as long as I did last time!

Porcelain · 14/12/2010 09:51

It ought to be said that if you have any kind of nipple trauma (blisters, grazes etc) then it is definitely a latch issue, and even if it has been checked you may need a second opinion, or to be more careful.

I had an apparently great latch, but baby was slipping back onto the nipple when he was sleepy. When I was sleepy too I wasn't noticing this to correct him. The BF counsellor advised me that even one feed a day on a bad latch was enough to cause damage and stop it from healing.

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