Feeding all the time - does this get better?

[neptunesdaughter]

My DD is 4 weeks old and EBF. We are doing ok with breast feeding and she has no problems latching on etc, but she just wants to feed constantly, especially in the evening. She is also not putting on lots of weight - she's put on 8 oz in two weeks (4 each week) and everyone keeps remarking how small she is.

The problem is that when she isn't feeding or sleeping, she's crying. My DH tries his best to give me a break but she just screams when he hold her and he finds it really hard to get her to calm down! I'm finding it hard as unless I go out of the house, I can sit for the whole day feeding her on and off pretty musch all the time and only get a break if she goes to sleep (not often) or I have to put her down in her moses basket and let her scream while I go to the loo/make some food.

I really want her to go longer between feeds so my breasts can recover and she's properly hungry so that she will feed better and get a proper feed.

Does anyone have any experience of this or any advice?

Thanks in advance!

Average weight gain is 5-7oz a week, though kellymom here www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/growth/weight-gain.html suggests 4-5oz is fine.

Is it really constantly without a break, or does she seem satisfied or fall asleep sometimes? "Cluster feeding", where they feed on and off, is really common in the evenings. Have you tried putting her in a sling?

Don't worry about going longer between feeds so your breasts recover - they are always making milk.

And have you had your latch checked by anyone, and your DD checked for tongue-tie, just in case there's a reason she's not getting milk efficiently.

Hi, firstly congratulations! Feeding lots is normal for a very young baby often when they are about to have a growth spurt, I remember there is one at 5 weeks. They tend to increase feeds, feeding little and often to up your supply of milk. The crying could be her wanting to have you near which is totally normal for babies. You could try putting her in a sling and then going about your daily activities? Have you tried swaddling? You could also try wearing a t-shirt and then putting it in the cot so that she can smell you even when you are not there. How is she when she feeds? Settled and contented or fussy?

Sounds normal to me. But it wouldn't hurt to get your latch checked etc as others have suggested to set your mind at rest.

But honestly, all they want to do at this age is feed and sleep. I do know that some women claim to feed every 2 - 3 hours but all mine have been known to feed on and off all day particularly at this stage. It is hard, knackering and boring but it will pass.

I would suggest don't worry about getting stuff done, do as little housework as you can stand and just go with the flow with regard to bf. When they feed all the time like this, it is their way of telling your body to up the milk supply. My 4 month old DD is currently going through a growth spurt and is wanting to be fed all the time and is unhappy when put down. It will pass in a few days.

Have faith. It will improve.

Congratulations on your new baby!
I'm not a BFexpert by any means, and it NEVER hurts to go to a BF cafe and have someone look carefully at your latch to see if you can make things more efficient BUT -
I could have written your post. Up to 6 weeks (sorry) I thought I was never going to be allowed to get out of the sodding chair, DS was just attached to me, and I remember one particularly traumatic poo (TMI, sorry) when he was wailing cos I'd put him down for more than 2 seconds and I was close to wailing myself cos of stitches and feeling so overwhelmed and not getting a moment to myself....

It gets better. It gets soo much better. Started spacing feeds out around 6 weeks, was going 2-3 hours fairly regularly by 13 weeks and not clusterfeeding any more, and now (19) feeds every 3-4 hours. He's a massive biffer, too so clearly not starving. I followed a 'when in doubt, whip one out' policy and fed him at the merest whimper for the first three months, but it didn't make him a greedy/crybaby/manipulative baby, it just made him huge and happy.

There are growth spurts (when they want to feed solidly for a few days, (10 days, 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, - as far as I've experienced) and you could be experiencing a late 3 week one or an early 6 week one (babies haven't read the books) -OR you could just have what I had, which was a baby happier on the boob than not, for the first 2 months of his life.

It DID improve and wowza, now it's actually easy. I remember feeling trapped, though, and what I did was use a sling. He would happily be carried by me in the Moby (without feeding) while I took the dog for a walk, which was a relief - and then DH could also take him out in the Moby for 45 minutes so I could have a shower and a bit of time to myself, and he'd last that long in there cos of feeling all swaddled and lovely (longer than if just held by DH).
Worth a try maybe? Good luck, I remember that feeling of absolute horror at never being able to put the baby down. I promise you, you're putting inthe hard work now and the payoff is that after 4 months feeding your baby is easy as pie, then you've got another howevermanymonthsyoulike to enjoy how simple it is!

Hi, just to reassure you, my DD, also EBF, has really never gained any more than 4oz per week.

It does get easier :) My ds had a growth spurt around 5-6 weeks and once that was over bf became sooo much easier. Now he's 14 weeks and feeds for 15-25 mins every 3-3.5 hours approx. Clusterfeeding ended around 8ish weeks i think when we realised he was fussing cos he was tired rather than hungry and managed to get him to have some longer naps in the day. Does she like being in the pram? That was the best way for DH to give me a break in the early weeks - he'd go longer without feeding if taken out for a walk

Oh, totally what blackcurrants said. Same experiences, same kind of baby! I think I found 4 weeks a real low in terms of BF-ing, and never being able to put baby down/go out/resenting the constant feeding and crying. It was definitely somewhere in the 1st 6 weeks....

I was desperate for more breaks and longer breaks between feeds. They came automatically as DS got older. I think the idea they they 'get a proper feed' if they go longer and then feed in a more concentrated way is a bit misleading. As in, your 4 week old is probably already getting what are proper feeds for her, at her age - which is little and often. Or 'all the bloody time', and 'all bloody evening' and 'how can you STILL be hungry?? I just fed you!' etc.

I 'gave in' to it all, and followed the policy of 'when in doubt, whip 'em out' too. My 21 week old EBF DS is porky and happy and healthy. Good slogan, blackcurrants.

It is exhausting and frustrating at this stage, and I was a right stroppy, miserable cow, so you have all my sympathy! But it does get better... you will see daylight again, I promise.

Thank you all so much for your advice and reassurance! I think I get a bit overwhelmed sometimes and think I'm doing something wrong.

I have been going to a breastfeeding cafe and my latch is fine most of the time - although she does slip occassionally halfway through onl my right breast so I have ot stop and reattach her sometimes. Also, she definitely isn't tongue ties - she can stick it right out and almost touch her own nose!

It's good to know that things do get easier and calm down a bit. I keep hearing about the magic 6 weeks being a time where it hopefully starts to get a bit better so fingers crossed.

Also, good to know not all babies put on loads of weight every week - people keep saying how tiny my DD is and I think it's getting me down a bit when they have lovely chubby babies who seem to put on loads of weight every week.

I'm going to try the sling and see if this makes her happier and helps me get stuff done!

My DD is 4 weeks old and i am waiting for the magic 6 weeks too! Fingers crossed what everyone says is true! x (wink)

another one here to say it will get better - my dd2 is 10 weeks and was feeding all the time (certainlt every 2 hrs, sometimes a lot more) until a few days ago - she seems to be spacing ffeds out a bit more now (although not always at night!)

we also had 2 weeks at about the 3-4 week stage where she didn't put any weight on at all! but I think it went in length rather tan weight!

good luck!

compared to DS at that age, 4oz a week is enviable so well done you!

Also, well done for putting up with this high intensity, relentless period. It will get better but maybe not at exactly six weeks....

Yes - I think feeds got a bit easier at 6 weeks but I didn't really notice until 7 weeks. And at 8, I thought, actually, this is a fair bit better than it used to be - a mix of easier feeding habits, and me getting more competent and used to it all. And I felt a fair bit cheerier. (And promptly got mastitis.)

I think Barkfox is right, actually - it was around 7 weeks (when 6 week growth spurt ended) that I thought "oh - it's happened! they told me it would get easier and it has, a bit!"

... also, for context, friends who formula feed report a similar "omg I can't bloody well put this baby down" sensation in the first four weeks. I think part of the shock of having a new baby is apportioned to breastfeeding if you breastfeed, and if you formula feed you see it's actually just a huge, huge shock, having a new baby...