Night weaning - cold turkey - am I evil?

[belindarose]

After yet another hideous and unbearable night with DD (15mo), I have decided to night wean in the frantic hope that this will eventually lead to fewer wakings (we were up for over 6 hours in total last night, 4 of them in a row). When I try doing things gently and slowly (i.e. No Cry Sleep Solution), she really doesn't seem to respond and we revert to previous habits (been on phase 2 of NCSS, if anyone knows it, since August and even then have had to revert to cuddling/ BFing to sleep).
So I think I'm just going to have to say 'no' and refuse feeds altogether at night. When I've tried this before, she's got so upset that I've given in. I appreciate the message she's getting here! I hate myself for wanting to refuse her and don't want to put my needs above hers, but I'm going back to work soon and won't be able to cope.
Has anyone tried this with any success? Just to give me a bit of hope? Please feel free to share total disasters too. I probably need to hear the full story. Thanks.

You are not evil! And she is old enough not to need to BF during the night. Good luck.

Her need to have a mother who isn't sleep deprived, and to sleep well herself, is more important than her need to breastfeed at night at this age imo. You shouldn't feel bad for that!

Thanks. I know she's old enough - but she doesn't agree!

Hi - this sounds very familiar!

I was despairing that DS, 16m, was waking 3 to 6 times a night and he'd only go back to sleep with a feed. Sometimes only 5mins, sometimes 45mins. Saying 'no' just ended up with wailing and him waking up properly. We were co-sleeping. DH needs his sleep for work so he couldn't help with night weaning.

BUT - there is hope. Last night DS slept through from 8pm to 6am! We've obtained this miracle with my mum's help. She's come to stay for 2 weeks. I'd put DS to bed as usual, with a feed, then Grandma co-slept and patted him back to sleep. A few protests from DS the first night, but Grandma never once needed to get up and pace around (and she's SO smug about this). And last night, after a week of this, he slept through to 6am without co-sleeping.

So now we're in the slightly ridiculous position that DS has the master bed to himself, and DH and I are on the tiny sofa bed. But it's major progress and I'm feeling awake and alert for the first time in ages.

HTH

That's great,Orcadia. Hope the success continues. Not an option for us at the moment though and she's always been even worse with attempts to co-sleep (far too much fun, she thinks). But thanks, glad to hear there's some hope.

BTW if you find a solution let me know, SIL is in this position, except she is back at work (full time, v stressful, long hours) and her DS2 still feeding several times in night and waking at 4.30am-5am to start the day. He is also feeding non stop sat/sun. I'd love to help her, just don't know how.

Would offer to stay at hers but he'd in all likelihood scream the place down.

I night-weaned DD at about 19 months, I tried at 15 months but she wasn't ready (doesn't mean your DD isn't though). I just told her that booby was asleep and gave her a cuddle and sang to her. It only took a couple of nights and now she is 2.2, we still co-sleep but she very rarely asks now if she wakes up in the night.

A word of warning though, I thought she might sleep through if she was night-weaned but she doesn't.

Well, the first night went well! Quite a bit of complaining when she realised she wasn't going to get a feed in the middle, and hard to get back into her cot, but a much longer stretch of sleep than usual after that. First time in about a year that we've gone 12 hours without a feed (she slept beautifully until 4 months old). May have all just been a coincidence!!