spacing out feeds

[loopylo]

My DD is nearly 8 weeks old and feeds during the day a lot-most of her waking hours. At night she goes 3-5hrs between feeds. I chatted with my health visitor about it and she says that dd is using me as a conforter and I need to make her go at least 2 hrs between feeds. I feel bad as she roots for my breasts constantly. She has gained weight well-10 onz last week. Any suggestions?

Ignore your HV would be my advice!

If you are happy that you are meeting her needs then stick with it. Babies do get comfort from feeding-as well as a lot of other stuff.

There's a good piece about this on Analytical Armadillo here

10oz is a great weight gain - so well done!

FGS, what crap advice from your HV

Sounds like your dd is doing great

DS is 16w and is still demand-fed. IME (he's no.3) they don't really fall into a feeding routine until weaning has been properly established

Milk is still their only source of food... I bet your HV doesn't 'make herself go 2hrs' between food or drinks

Feeding lots in the day and less frequently at night sounds like the right way round to me !

That's very strange advice, loopyloo.

Why would the HV think there is anything wrong with a mother offering comfort to her 8 week old baby?

Frequent feeding is very normal at this age, and indeed it might well be a factor in the relatively non-wakeful nights you are enjoying.

How sad she made you feel bad about this.

I hope you speak to a different, more enlightened HV next time.

That all sounds perfectly normal.

Why on earth are HVs so obsessed with spacing feeds, reducing feeds, self-settling, not comforting your baby. Makes me cross!

My HV said this to me too, also suggesting offering her boiled cooled water between feeds to put her off, and I ignored her. At 10 to 12 weeks DD settled into a routine with longer gaps - on her own - much better this way. You are not making a rod for your own back letting her be comforted by you and by feeding often. Its her little way of showing she loves you and wants to be close to you. Try to enjoy it while it lasts!

Boiled water at 10 weeks? WTF?

Argh, HV want babies to gain weight and get all twitchy if they drop a centile and then suggest an effective diet i.e reducing amount they eat. FGS.

MY HV said exactly the same thing to me, when my DS was 6 or 7 weeks old.

It didn't work - he just grizzled and had to be carried around by DP, trying to keep him amused. Then got more upset until I gave in and fed him.

We tried it for 2 days, it was knackering and daft, and I regret having tried now. DS was just such a frequent feeder, I was very tired, and wanted a magic wand to make life more manageable.

When DS got older, his feeds spaced out naturally. And he slept more. No effort required from me, I just resigned myself to feeding on demand.

My view is that what your DC is doing is fine, if knackering for you (and I do feel your pain!). I really really think if we just let very small babies behave like very small babies, and not expect a 2 month old to behave like a 6 month old, we'd all be a lot better off. Not least the babies.

It frustrates me when people say small babies 'can' got 2 hours, or more, between feeds. I dare say I 'could' go 24 hours between meals with no tragic consequences, but I wouldn't be very happy about it.

It sounds like your DD is doing really well, so I'd keep doing what you're doing, and if frequent feeding in the day is giving you decent(ish) nights, then hurrah!

Thank you. All my friends babies feed 2-3hrly during the day and sleep 7-7 from 3-6weeks old so I was feeling like I was doing something wrong. I have also had some pressure from DH and MIL that I'm always feeding DD. Sometimes when they are holding her and she cries they walk off with her telling me she doesn't need a feed as she only had one a short while ago-I need to be more firm. Its just DD and I most of the time, DH at work and I fend off parents in law to days DH is home only so we can do what we want. I thought I was over feeding her or thought I had done wrong by everytime she cries putting her on my breast but even if she only has a small drink but gets a lot of confort then I'm still doing what's right for her.

I think all your friends are lying I don't know a single person whos baby has slept from 7-7 before about 8 weeks at the earliest, and most babies I know haven't slept that long until far far far later.

Don't forget, bf is about thirst as well as hunger - would you purposely go for 2 hours without a cup of tea, glass of squash if you were thirsty?

My philosophy is that if he cries and it's not nappy related, then bfing will comfort him - if he's tired it sends him to sleep, if he's hungry or thirsty it sorts that out and if he just wants a cuddle it gives him that too - so everyone's happy.