BF DC1 and TTC DC2?

[AngelDog]

What do I do?

DS is 11 months and my periods haven't yet returned. I'm not ready to give up bf yet, and he certainly isn't. He feeds 5-7 times in the day and 1-4 times at night.

DS isn't a great sleeper and at points BF is the only way he'll go back to sleep at night. I also use it for comfort during the day e.g. teething, falling over etc.

We're thinking about starting TTC in the next few months as I'm hoping to be a SAHM while the DC are little, but we'll likely only be able to afford that for a limited time.

I conceived very quickly with DS and quickly with a previous pg that ended in a m/c, but only once I'd been charting my temperature etc etc, and working on more 'scientific' timings. Before that we'd been TTC for a year with no success.

What are my options (other than stopping bf)?

well you can start TTC before your periods come back. you might find that he cuts down naturally over the coming months and that could kickstart things

i know a few people who fell PG whilst breastfeeding before their period had returned

Did they just strike it lucky, or can you tell when would be a good time to try e.g. with the temperature charting thing (don't know what it's called!

The likelihood of us getting lucky is pretty low, I reckon - DH works long hours inc evenings and I'm tired from being up with DS.

Of course you might get pregnant, but you might not ovulate whilst breastfeeding.

I think I read somewhere that the average gap using BFing was around 2 years, ie conceiving when the first child is 15 months- that was certainly the case with my SIL although she had gone back to work full time - ie periods only came back when stopped feeding in the day at 12 months.

I guess it depends on how much of a rush you are in - ie whats more important getting pregnant or continuing breastfeeding?

According to TCOYF very difficult to do charting when BFing, although there is a chapter on that in the book.

Fell pg with DD2 while still bf DS (11 months) No periods so thought I was "safe". Only took the once (had run out of condoms )

i think they just struck lucky angeldog. they started TTC and eventually it just happened

thinking about it I do know someone who night weaned to try and get her periods back as she hadn't fallen pregnant, but her little one would have been about 2 by then

Is there any way you can attempt to night wean? I don't think there's much chance of it happening until you start to reduce the feeds.

I would say to keep an eye out for ovulation. When DS was just over 4 months old, I had what I swore was EWCM. I was still exclusively breastfeeding, and he was a good 6 weeks away from weaning. sure enough, a couple of weeks later my period arrived - still exclusively breastfeeding.

Obvioulsy my period arrived unusually early (and meant we could TTC), but it is worth looking out for signs of OV, as obviously this will happen before you get your first period.

my SIL did the opposite - she went back to work so "day" weaned, but was still feeding during night - still had 12 hours without feed each day.

Would second what others have said about night weaning - my periods came back two weeks after I night weaned my then 11-month old DS. He still feeds twice a day (is 14 months now), but we're now TTC our second Good luck!

Thanks everyone, that was helpful. I feel slightly less confused. :)

I had a look at Kellymom too, and it seems that a sudden drop in the number of feeds (or shorter feeds) can bring back fertility, even if the LO still feeds frequently. She said that 14.5 months is the average when menstruation starts again, which fits with what you said, MumNWLondon. I ordered TCOYOF from the library earlier, so I'll take a look - ta.

I'm reluctant to try night weaning till after the 13 month sleep regression (we're only just nearing the end of the 8/9/10 month one).

But I reckon I can reduce the number at least then, since DS was only having one night feed before we hit the current regression at 8 months and ought to be able to go longer without by then. I might wait till then and try to encourage him to nightwean and reduce the daytime bfs a bit if he hasn't already.

Good luck with ttc too, bunnyfrance. :)

For what it's worth, our 13 month regression "only" involved naps going down the chute, it didn't really affect nights. They're all so different.

I decided to nightwean as I was so so tired, I just couldn't go on anymore. It was actually a lot less painful than I thought it would be. Took 10 days and he was sleeping through.

I love positive sleep stories. :)

I'm in the same position as you AngelDog. Ds has just had his first birthday, and seems to have no intention of giving up the bf, or even slowing down. We would love to have another child, but not so much that I would stop bf (for now). Maybe if I don't get my period back by 18mo then I might night wean at least. FWIW we haven't been using contraception since ds was 4mo, (except the highly effective contraception that is a co-sleeping breast-feeding baby )

My mother weaned all of us at 12 mo as she wanted to ttc. But she went the whole hog, not just night weaning. I'm hoping that I won't have to do that just yet.

Hey Angel, I conceived whilst BF DS - no night weaning needed, he dropped feeds by himself after increasing his food intake in the day. I did send DH in though to resettle when he woke as it's all too easy to boob when half asleep (I would feed if he didn't resettle though).

Sadly I had a mc, but to let you know it can be done :)

Sorry about your mc, Iggly.

DH and I talked again tonight and agreed that if nothing's doing by the end of the 13 month regression, we'll have a go at night weaning if DS hasn't already stopped feeding at night.

He's improving, though - co-sleeping actually means he's easier to settle without a feed because I can pat him before he wakes up properly, which often gets him back off again. (Last night he slept for 7 hours without properly waking up - a recent best!)

Up till now I've been paranoid cautious about making sure I bf before meals rather than after, but I'll stop worrying about that soon, which will probably increase his intake of solids. I don't give him snacks either at the moment, but when I start doing that, he may reduce his milk intake a bit further again.

I'd be happy to wait a bit to ttc, but we're having a bit of a wobble about finances and I think it's sensible not to leave it too much longer without at least having A Plan. :)

Cies, Kellymom explains 'ecological nursing' which is the best strategy for contraception - and co-sleeping is certainly part of it!

Thanks Angel. I'm glad to hear you're getting a long stretch - fingers crossed it lasts for a bit without any assistance from you...!
Yes I know what you mean re milk first. I stopped doing milk first around 10 months and made sure DS had the chance to top up about an hour or so after a meal - he wasn't one to overdo his solids at the expense of milk anyway-took a while for him to realise solids filled him up! He's not a big snacked either but that's probably my fault as there aren't many options being dairy/soya intolerant. He does like to eat though especially if we're eating

I did find he dropped night feeds fairly easily - and I have never withheld boob if he really wants it.
Good luck with TTC! There is a thread about conceiving while BF in the conception topic - I did join but fell off as it were.