Falling centiles and sleepless nights - why am I BF

[Allegrogirl]

Just feeling really anxious after seeing the HV. DD2 is 12 weeks and has fallen from the 91st at birth to the 50th centile. I'm knackered from feeding and running around after a 3 year old. DD2 is a happy little thing. Long for her age and I think quite chunky. Very alert and awake for much of the day.

Remind me why I am exhausting myself for a baby who isn't packing on the weight despite my efforts. Went through this with DD1 who didn't really gain much until weaned.

I don't think birth weight is a very good indication of what size they're meant to be - it's more to do with how good the pregnancy was.

My ds is 15 weeks and similar - was born on the 75th and is now just under the 25th. However, if I take his weight from the point at which he regained his birthweight, he goes from the 50th to just under the 25th which is fine. It takes a while for them to find their line I think.

And packing on the weight in itself isn't something to aim for imo - a healthy, happy, alert baby is!

Like MoonUnit has said - its a healthy, happy, alert baby you want, not one who is putting on weight in a way someone else says she should be :)

You're breastfeeding because its best for her, and best for you. You're doing it because you've come through the difficult and endless first bit, and its now relatively plain sailing. You're doing it because its much easier than faffing around with a bottle at night. You're doing it because its free in comparison to the £500 a year formula costs. You're doing it because breastfeeding mums get between 45 mins and an hour extra sleep at night!

If you've done this with DD1, then maybe you just produce long children

Be kind to yourself. You're doing a brilliant job.

She looks chunky.

She is alert and happy.

Your first child followed the same weight pattern and was fine.

Her weight is within normal limits - a drop of 2 centiles is within normal and in any case, as Moon says, the birth centile is not 'it' for life. Many babies - especially those at the top end - gain weight a tad more slowly in order to find 'their' place.

Your HV has presumably not alerted you to any health concerns.

Not sure why you are worried, to be honest :)

Was the HV concerned Allegro?

Are the other boxes for a healthy baby being ticked- ie. plenty of poos and wees. You say she's alert ....weight is just one factor to look at after all.

How often are you feeding? Are you offering both breasts? You could increase the frequency of these if you're concerned.

DD1 shot up the centiles once she was weaned and I now worry she is too heavy and will be a fatty like me. I have anxiety issues which have been under control for a while but the exhaustion from the night feeds has brought the anxiety back big time.

I feed from both sides nearly every feed. Already offering frequent feeds. HV put doubt in my mind about my feeding ability. Like anxiety affecting the quality of feeds. I'm not going to see her again.

I think I need to speak to someone about the anxiety. I realise I am being daft.

Thanks all. Haven't got to the breast feeding group for a couple of weeks. Will go next week for some RL support.

Fed up of worrying all the time.

Your HV should be shot for saying that

Yes, do seek some help allegro - can you see your GP?

why are u bf?

this is why :)

Anxiety does not affect the quality of breastfeeding.

I wouldn't shoot the HV for saying this (a little harsh, crikey?!) but I would certainly spit in her eye :) And kick her shins.

Mood and the breastfeeding experience are linked - but the other way, and positively....ie the endorphins released during breastfeeding calm both the mother and the baby.

Hope you get help for your anxiety, Allegro.

Yes OK, Tiktok that was a bit harsh (and obviously said in jest), I'm just fed up of hearing stories of HVs passing on bad advice that undermines bfing.

A kick in the shins would be much more appropriate

Maybe you could just shoot her in the leg or something? You know, just to wound, not kill?

Is it right that anxiety doesn't affect bfing? I thought I read in politics of bfing that anxiety could affect let-down, i.e. if formula companies, HVs and everyone else all conspire to tell you that you can't feed, then your let-down is affected and you think oh, they must be right...

Which is why it is so bad that the HV said this, she should have been building up OP's confidence not breaking it down!

Yeah, a shot in the ankle.....:)

Let down can temporarily be affected by acute anxiety.

But when I meant the quality of breastfeeding is unaffected I meant what I thought the OP had meant - ie that it changes the quality of the milk. Which it doesn't. :)

or maybe she just needs a kick up the backside