BF - how do you stop?

[kittycat37]

I'm BF my DD who is now 7 and a half months.

In Jan I have to go back to work 3days a week.

At the moment I still just feed on demand, although she also has 3 solid meals a day.

Some days she still feeds a lot - e.g. 3/4 times in the day and the same at night (I know that's probably crazy at her age but it's what she seems to want).

I feel like I should be cutting it down, as in a few weeks I'll need to be at work for 8hours for the three days I'm there. Also I can't keep up the night feeds - it's killing me. I think it must be a comfort thing for her more than a food thing, but how do I cut down? Any tips?

Thanks.

p.s. she will take a bottle of formula if hungry but if she wants soothing only BF will calm her.

Watching with interest as I'm in exactly the same boat (including the frequency of feeds!), although my DS is 8 mo and I have until April to get it sorted...

Are you planning on stopping altogether? I'd like to get to the point where I'm doing a morning and bedtime feed and the rest of his fluid is water or cows milk.

It's good that she takes a bottle - at least that bit is taken care of - my DS won't take one, or drink from a cup yet - I'm worried that we have a long way to go.

I hope someone with some expereince can offer some advice. In the meantime I empathise...

Hi Kitty, I had the same question a few months ago! My DS has just turned 1 and we are now successfully down to 1 feed a day, at night, and I plan to stop altogether over christmas. I am no expert at all, but this is what I would do....

When you go back to work, your DD will still be needing about 3 feeds a day, but hopefully you will be able to do this as a morning, afternoon and evening feed. You could still bf if you wanted to, expressing to cover the afternoon one, or switch to formula if you want to stop altogether.

We dropped one feed at a time, starting with the mid morning one, which takes you to 3. I found distraction was the best policy, offering a cup of water and a little snack. The night feeds were trickier, had to enlist help of DH. He went in, offered water, gave him a cuddle and attempted to resettle. Can't pretend it was easy, but we got there in about 4 nights. Just do it before you go back to work, maybe start at a weekend.

Reducing slowly this way, meant boobs had time to adjust. My sister went cold turkey, 7/8 feeds to nothing all in one go, and was in a fair bit of discomfort. So in summary, I would drop a day feed first, then the middle of the night ones, then the dream feed, until you are left with 3. Then swap these over to formula if that's what you are doing, or keep 2 and just swap afternoon one until you are ready to wean completely.

Hiya Kittycat37 - I went back to work when my DS was about 9 months and still feeding quite regularly. I also work 3 days a week. He wouldn't take a bottle. You might find that you don't need to give up altogether. My DS used to have a feed in the morning and a feed when I came home and a feed in the night. I spent a lot of time in the spare room with him and just co-slept. He fed as usual at the weekend but this lessened over time. I expressed for comfort at lunchtime at work (work have to provide you with a suitable space for this). The advantages of this for us were that - he still had milk (wouldn't take a bottle as I said), we got to reconnect at the end of the day (I absolutely don't think BF is the only way to do this btw but I did enjoy the chance to sit down and do nothing but feed him!), when he woke in the night he settled quickly and I felt sleepy from feeding so went back off quickly too. It was hard at times but there was no real alternative for us. Hopefully someone will come along soon with some tips for weaning but I feel that BF really helped us through the transition from maternity leave to work. Hope all goes well in January!

Kitty: My DS2 is 7 months and I have cut down, at 5.5 months i went back to work 3 days a week, out the house 8am-6pm.

I decided to give formula in the day. 3 days before I was due to go back I skipped morning feeds, and I lasted until 1pm before I felt full (not engorged). On day 2 lasted until 3pm, on day 3 until 5pm.

Started back at work on day 4 and he had 2 bottles in the day (plus solids) but BF from me at 7am, 6pm and 10pm (although offered bottle top up after 10pm feed, had hardly any Bmilk then as he took good feed at 6pm) and I wanted needed him to sleep until the morning. I suspect that if I hadn't offered him the top up I would have had one or two night wakings. BTW initially offered the bottle first at 10pm. After a few days when he was really happy with the bottle as he'd had it during the day offered breast first.

6 weeks later he prefers the bottle as its easier for him and so he has pretty much lost interest. Will suck for the easy milk but can't be bothered to suck for slow milk - as a result my supply had really dropped, tried to boost but getting him to fed in the days I wasn't working but its been a struggle and have decided to stop properly now.

As example yesterday he hardly took anything at 6pm - breasts felt empty and he only sucked for 2 mins each side - I assumed he wasn't hungry at that time. Tonight I offered him a bottle (as have just decided to stop) and he glugged back 9oz and would have drunk more.

Had he wanted to continue to feed I would have continued but he really does prefer a bottle and the lack of sucking has had detrimental effect on milk. If you are worried that your DD likes the comfort of BFing have an open mind about doing the feeds that you are home for. Reassess once you are back at work.

I'll continue with the morning feeds for another week though...

2 years ago I was in a very similar boat to you; I went back to work 3 days a week (11 hours away from home) when DS was 10 months old.

Time flew by and we did nothing constructive about getting him to drink alternatives to BM (and he barely ate solids). A test day out of the house 2 wks beforehand lasted 2 hours before dh had to call me home.

...and it was all fine. DS just accepted that I wasn't there when I wasn't around. One thing DH had to do was to offer him milk regularly to make sure he didn't get over-hungry and too upset to eat. I did express during the working day but gradually gave that up as I got busier at work. I fed as normal on my days off. I never did get around to sorting out the night feeds, and did a lot of co-sleeping, which did help to make up for the cuddles I wasn't getting during the day.

Sorry this doesn't answer your question about stopping, but just wanted to let you know that it can work out without having to make adjustments too far in advance

The No-Cry Sleep Solution has ideas for reducing night feeds / wakings without trauma. Sometimes frequent night waking (and needing feeding) can be because of overtiredness due to poor naps.

Thanks so much for all the replies - sorry I've not been on this thread since I started it as RL took over. So much useful information though - thankyou, I'll read it all through carefully and try and think about what to do.