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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I really don't want to breast feed

85 replies

shinyshilling · 21/09/2005 17:12

I have thought and read lots and lots about this and for various reasons have decided that I don't want to breast feed at all.I want to bottle feed from day 1. Can anyone let me know what happens if you don't. Will I still produce milk? Can this be avoided? I can find lots of information on BF but not on what happens if you don't want to. I'd be really grateful if anyone could give me some advice.

OP posts:

Roxswood · 23/09/2005 19:28

Good luck with your home water birth!
I had one last year and it was THE best decision I ever made.

I just wanted to say that if you feel able to give your baby the first few feeds from the breast (even for one day) you will be giving her a lot of protection that she won't otherwise get. Its totally up to you, but just something to consider.

CORFU · 23/09/2005 20:32

Hi - I'm new to this thread but I can completely relate to not bf'ing. I decided that it wasn't for me before my DD was born and although people said I was doing the wring thing I knew it was right for me. I have a healthy 2 year old and I genuinely believe that breastfeeding would not have made a difference to the child she is now. I also suffer with chroinc back pain so can completely understand you needing help as you do.

CORFU · 23/09/2005 20:32

hunkermunker · 23/09/2005 21:04

Hi SS. I really wasn't judging you - honestly. And I didn't want you to feel you had to justify yourself and explain why you didn't want to breastfeed.

Good luck with the home waterbirth - that's what I hope to have too

As for your boss Now that is interfering

serah · 23/09/2005 21:51

Strange thing is Shinyshilling, is that I had completely closed my mind off to bottlefeeding when I was pregnant. It never once entered my mind. Everyone has different personal experiences. I was never able to breastfed my baby in the end. It took 6 days of starving the poor bleeder before I cracked and asked for a bottle.

I think it is great that you have made a positive choice.

And in answer to your question, you will still produce milk and people have given you some sound advice on how to reduce any potential discomfort you may feel.... Savoy cabbage leaves are GREAT! I still produce a tiny bit of milk... and DS is 9 months, but I don't wake up in a big pool of milk anymore. And my breasts returned to normal size pretty soon after I stopped expressing for him (around 8 weeks), so I imagine that if you don't express you will be back to normal pretty soon (you may have a shock at let-down at around 3 days post birth though - prepare yourself for this!!)

Good luck to you!

nightowl · 24/09/2005 02:16

ss..you dont have to justify yourself to anyone..here or in rl. i know they are only trying to be helpful but i understand how you feel to a certain extent. i never breastfed and never tried..and no amount of suggestions or little hints would have changed my mind at all.

so do what is right for you. in answer to your question, i think it took about 5 days for me. im an f cup anyway so dont know if this was a factor but mine were like erm....rocks. i usually sleep on my side and even that was painful. its uncomfortable but doesnt last for long. just dont touch them!!

RosiePosie · 24/09/2005 08:20

I'm happy to share my experience and explain my reasons for wanting to bottlefeed no. 3 due in a few months. I mix fed no. 1 until 4 months before going over to bottles, I breastfed no. 2 for 18 months with no bottles. Despite breastfeeding my last baby for 18months I am planning on bottlefeeding the next one. A number of reason's why, some of which some people will be horrified at my selfishness, no doubt. For some reason though, I feel I can look them in the eye and say "ah, yes - but I bf dd for 18 months, so I know what I'm talking about" when really it shouldn't matter whether I have ever bf before. My reasons are mainly about self image. I hated myself when I was breastfeeding - I didn't lose any weight until afterwards, I hated being fat and having ginormous 40F boobs, I hated the dependance the baby had on me, I felt jealous that my husband had a life, and I didn't. I hated that my hormones were all over the place until I stopped, and the most important reason - my SPD (pelviv problems) didn't settle back down until after I stopped. The day I stopped breastfeeding, the pain in my pelvis stopped.

On a practical level, and because I know what it is like to have blocked ducts and mastitis, I am planning on breastfeeding for the first few weeks, gradually cutting down and introducing more bottles. I'll admit it, this does appease my guilt a little, atleast the baby will be getting something. I can't imagine going cold turkey, I think that would HURT, however - reading this thread, it effects every woman differently.

Caligula · 24/09/2005 09:10

Sounds fair enough to me RosiePosie. Thinking about the gradual giving up versus the never even trying one feed of colostrum - I wonder if there's a difference in how painful it is? Is it easier to just do cold turkey right from the start and not prolong the agony by expressing bits off and stretching it out over weeks, or is it just much easier and less trouble to not do it at all? (Does milk still come in as painfully when you haven't used any colostrum?)

serah · 24/09/2005 15:22

In my experience I would say it does Caligula - I expressed all my colostrum and it was still painful when the milk came in

Shades1 · 24/09/2005 16:16

HI SS

I breast fed my first, got engorged, followed by mastitis then a very painful absess, and had to go back into hospital to have it surgically removed, and had a nurse coming in for a month to clean and repack the open wound. Despite this you would be amazed of how many people thought I should try again ! The hospital even tried to refer me to a breast feeding counsellor.

DH was very supportive and had watched the pain and anxiety with DS1, I actually sat and cried the day he took his first bottle with relief. There had been times when I'd been feeding and the poor tot had touched my breast where the absess was, I'd screamed with pain which frightened him and made him scream, there is nooo way nooo how I was going through that again.

I have absolutely no guilt for not breastfeeding DS2, DS2 was a much better sleeper from day 1, he was 9lb 9.5oz and the thought of trying to feed him myself would have sent me into shock ! He was very satisfied and is now a healthy, intelligent 3 year old.

My milk came in at about day 3, had already been advised to wear 2 very supportive, and as tight as you can bear, bras. Don't touch your chest or stimulate it in any way, even water from the shower, make sure you've got cabbage leaves in the chiller in your fridge to relieve any pain. I was back to normal in a week, personally didn't have any leakage at all.

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