not keen on eating much in day

[ThisIsBloodyHardWork]

My DD is 15 weeks and after a shaky start and a lot of angsting, some of it on this board (thanks tiktok!) I've been feeling really good about how it's all going. She has quite bad reflux and will vomit an entire feed at least once a day (usually at night, necessitating entire bedlinen change, clothes change for her and me, sob). She is putting on weight but quite slowly, but I'm holding off the HCPs after advice here that a couple of centile drops is OK.

So that's the backstory. Current problem - DD is very VERY distractible during the day, and has been taking less and less during her day feeds, leading to more nightwaking (when she feeds fine, basically asleep and latches on fine, feeds for ages, all fine). However, it's really getting ridiculous now - she will latch on for about 2-3 minutes in the day, then get really pissed off and cry a lot if I try to "make" her have more. She sometimes even cries at the beginning and has to be persuaded to even give it a go, even if it's over 2.5 hours since her last weeny feed! I've tried being in a dim room, muslin over her, etc, which is a) impractical with a toddler around and b) ineffective. So what should I do? I'm getting worried that my supply will be reducing as she really is taking so little during the day.

Poos are mostly yellowy although the occasional greener spectrum one, and she's mostly very cheery unless I'm trying to get her to feed.

Any advice really welcome, especially about supply. I would try pumping to keep things going but it really isn't possible most of the time as I have a relatively demanding 2-year-old.

Glad you have overcome the early difficulties....I think you are right to look for a better experience in the day and those feeds and the crying are a strong hint something could be better.

Can you take a couple of days just to snuggle in bed/on the sofa with your baby skin to skin and able to latch on whenever? You might need help with your toddler - this sort of intensive stuff is hard to do with another child who needs a lot of care and attention.

What have the weights been?

I can try and arrange some care for my toddler for a day or two - do you think that might be the answer? I had been thinking about trying the skin to skin option but as you say it is hard to arrange.

Any ideas as to what is going on? It seems weird as she's fine during the night and very cheery during the day.

Her weight is now 5.5kg - she's put on 300g in 3 weeks. She's just under the 25th centile now, having started off just under the 75th.

PS just to add, I last had her weighed a week ago and this crying and actual reluctance to feed during the day - as opposed to distractibility has only started in the last couple of days.

Def. agree ith TikTok re. skin2skin anything to get her more interested in feeding.

It may be that as the reflux is causing her pain she is associating bfing with pain (bfing = pain/vomit)- hence the more frequent nightfeeds (reflux babies often take more when tired/sleepy). Has she been given any medication to control the vomiting/acid?

I'm sure you are already doing all these things but in case you've not tried them:-

Keeping baby upright (pushchair/car seat/bouncer chair/sling/cuddle upright) for quite a while post feed.

Prop up head end of cot with books under cot legs.

Put a folded up bath sheet (super large towel) over cot sheet so all you have to change is towel not cot sheets. I also used to put a terry nappy/muslin under DD1's head over the towel so for smaller sicks I just changed the terry.

My ds started getting very distracted around this age about a month ago.

Have you looked at www.kellymom.com? Reverse cycling etc. I have got him to feed more in the day by offering when he is sleepy - in our case as soon as he wakes from each nap.

Hi, thanks for the tips! Will def put something under her - that will reduce some of the changing of everything. She quite often projectile vomits when sitting up after a feed though, which means her cot is fine, but my bed/nightie etc are covered!

With the reflux, I think DD is what kellymom calls a "happy spitter" ie she is sick - alot - but it really really doesn't bother her. She will sit smiling away with sick dribbling out of her nose. So the only concern with that is really the slow weight gain. I could be wrong, but I'd be astonished if she was associating feeding with anything uncomfortable, she is just such a cheery baby except when I'm trying to get her to have a millilitre more milk than she wants!

Having said that, I've just skin-to-skinned her for quite a while and she fed quite happily on and off so I feel like she's had one good feed today. I might try that during naps for a bit and after my DS has gone to bed, to get her more interested in it all.

Keep tips coming please!

update - we've been doing skin to skin and she's much less shouty about feeding although still very distractible and having tiny snacks unless she's basically asleep. if i can get her to have a couple of good feeds (asleepish) in the day and then she feeds well at night, this should be ok, no? surely this too shall pass?

Just bumping this as we had a terrible day today. DD fed reasonably at about 630, then basically refused to feed apart from really tiny snacks until 4pm! She was crying and seemed really hungry, but wouldn't feed unless I went in a separate room and even then was taking little mouthfuls then having a good look round before trying again, and even then only for 5 mins max.

At 4pm she fed quite a lot, then back to jumping on and off the breast at the evening feed. I'm expecting/hoping that she'll feed a lot over night, but I'm starting to feel like she's actively against feeding while she's awake. Is there anything I can do about this? I tried the muslin over face thing today, and she spent ages fighting her way out of it, it seemed to get her even more pissed off.

Will this get better? Could it get worse? Help! While not yet at my wits' end, I am feeling pretty frazzled about it. It seems unfair to have struggled through the difficult early weeks, only to fall at the 3.5 month hurdle ...