new to breast feeding and seriously struggling.. please help!! (very long.. sorry)

[Lisak1977]

Hi, I had my daughters 10 and 11 years ago and chose not to breast feed, a decision I have always regretted :( I had my beautiful baby boy 10 days ago and am absolutely certain breast feeding is what I want to do... I just never really appreciated how difficult it can be!!

When my bubba was born he latched on and fed well for half an hour, I was amazed how easy it was and the midwives said I was a natural (making me feel so proud) so I was pretty much left to it after that, problem was that I was only feeding from one side and not positioning bubba correctly, I honestly believed the pain was part of the deal.. before I realised where I was going wrong I had huge grazes on both nipples (which bleed slightly) and was dreading each feed! my community mw has been amazing and I now have the posistion and things sorted, I love feeding my boy and want to continue for as long as possible but the problem is the night feeds.. I really dread them!! I guess its where I'm tired but I find them super painful, and very emotional, often crying all the way through the feed.. I have tried to express so I can use a bottle for these night feeds but have been unable to get any milk out (although I don't really know what I'm dong to be honest) I spoke to mw about giving formula for night feeds but she says its a bad idea because it will confuse him.. the only person confused however is me!! I just don't know what to do?? very close to giving up bf all together but I know I will regret it.. any advise welcome.. please help!!

Hi,

I couldn't express until a few weeks in once my milk was established, so don't worry about that.

To help the grazing get lansinoh cream and put it on between feeds and wear breast pads to keep it from soaking into your bra.

I had stabbing pains every time DS latched on for the first couple of weeks, but that soon died down and now it doesn't hurt at all.

if the actual nipple is bleeding then you can get breast shields to wear until they heal, although they are not a good idea long term. but as a short term solution they can save the day :-)

make sure you drink plenty of water and eat lots of cake to keep your energy levels up, don't do any housework and get lots of sleep.

Thats all I can think of, I hope it helps!

OK I am going out on a limb, feed lying down in bed using the c position here.
<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.mymiraclebaby.com.sg/Jackie%2520Blue%2520WhiteWP%2520103.jpg&imgrefurl=www.mymiraclebaby.com.sg/Nursing%2520Nest.htm&usg=__bGjkEmMfxOq6TZSiraJWTxcss2A=&h=1920&w=2560&sz=835&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=o65gjpLmEy1D6M:&tbnh=131&tbnw=189&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dprotective%2Bc%2Bbreastfeeding%2Bposition%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG%26biw%3D1276%26bih%3D666%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=638&vpy=74&dur=8331&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=147&ty=217&ei=XfLmTJ7KNcTOhAf8zZ3ADA&oei=XfLmTJ7KNcTOhAf8zZ3ADA&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.mymiraclebaby.com.sg/Jackie%2520Blue%2520WhiteWP%2520103.jpg&imgrefurl=www.mymiraclebaby.com.sg/Nursing%2520Nest.htm&usg=__bGjkEmMfxOq6TZSiraJWTxcss2A=&h=1920&w=2560&sz=835&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=o65gjpLmEy1D6M:&tbnh=131&tbnw=189&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dprotective%2Bc%2Bbreastfeeding%2Bposition%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG%26biw%3D1276%26bih%3D666%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=638&vpy=74&dur=8331&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=147&ty=217&ei=XfLmTJ7KNcTOhAf8zZ3ADA&oei=XfLmTJ7KNcTOhAf8zZ3ADA&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0

yes, feeding lying down is a godsend at nighttime!!!!

My friend had trouble latching and she found that position much easier.

Don't express as your supply will drop. If you feed in the position in the link and you doze it will be easier and you will probably carry on for longer.
You aren't doing it wrong, tiredness means positioning when upright at night slips and makes you sore.
Put the baby back in the cot once you realise feeding has stopped.
Don't use any drugs, tobacco or alcohol if doing this and ensure pillows are under your head but not above the babies.
Recent studies on cot death here.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome so you can make a more informed decision.

Hi - someone who knows more will be along shortly to help so hang in there. Have you also looked at/ posted on La Leche League's website? Very helpful and lots of great support (as I'm sure you'll also get here).

Also check out the Kelly mom website for great advice.

Do you think the latch is now right? If you're experiencing pain you should get that checked again by someone who can really help - is there a lactation consultant in your area? In the meantime if you don't have cream use breastmilk on the sore places - surprisingly effective (it really is magical stuff!).

The emotions you mention are entirely normal - you're only ten days out of a major emotional upheaval and you're sleep deprived. This will get better. In a few days or weeks this will be a distant memory. I look back at the first few weeks of breastfeeding dd and can't believe how emotional and upset I was.

Lisa.. is it only the night feeds that are painful?

what do you think is different about them than when you are feeding during the day?

whereabouts are you? do you have a local breastfeeding counsellor you could get in touch with?

Congrats on your new little one- he is still very new and it can take a while for things to get established with breastfeeding.

It's good news that you've got your position sorted. Have the grazes on your nipples healed yet?

Night feeds are hard, because like you say you're tired and it's then that the baby can get latched on uncomfortably.

Have you looked in to co-sleeping? This way you can have you baby close/next to you and once you've mastered feeding lying down, you can feed and doze.

The general advice is not to express until the baby is about 4-6 weeks old just so you can get your supply established.

Can you find some time in the day to catch up on some sleep to make the nights a bit more bearable?

You can also give one of the breastfeeding helplines a call too as they may have some advice.

Here you go..
National Breastfeeding Helpline
0300 100 0212
National Childbirth Trust
0300 330 0771
Breastfeeding Network
0300 100 0210
La Leche League
0845 1202918
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers 08444 122949

Stick with it, it does take time to get the hang of bfing, but things do get a lot easier with time, I promise.

I also suggest you baby moon if you can, just go to bed during the day if you have support with the other dcs for a few days. Rest up.
Feeding a bottle, giving dummies and formula will reduce supply, as if the baby wants to suck in the early days they need feeding and not feeding or prolonging the gaps using dummies will mean less milk produced. The more he suckles, the more milk is produced.
Don't get fixed on getting routines, breastfeeding doesn't work if you do.
Hope you get on ok and really feel for you, don't give up. The first few weeks are the hardest but as long as you feed on demand it will be ok xxxx

errmm, it seems I have just repeated what everyone has said (makes mental note to type faster in future!)

Definately agree either lansinoh or breastmilk to put on nipples before and after
feeds

Hi, just to say you're doing very well bf and the first few weeks are definitely the hardest! I also had terrible problems with sore nipples and used cream (Kamillosan) and nipple shields for a while. The lying down whilst bf is brilliant if you can master it but with a vey young baby might be a bit difficult. All I can say is just to "hang on in there", from my experience it definitely gets easier. I also got to a point where I was dispairing (frantic phone calls to other mums who I knew had bf their babies) but persevered and continued until DS1 was one year and successfully bf DS2 for over a year. Good luck!

I am going against the grain here, and I am NOT recommending you do what I did. But I just wanted to say that I totally understand where you're coming from with the night feeds. For me they were totally impossible - I was a physical and emotional wreck. So I did give formula for the night feeds until DD was 12 weeks old. For me it was that or give up.

If you can find any other way then of course that is preferable. Try the suggestions on this thread. But if not, and you're sure you're going to give up, then for god's sake try night time formula first! It may affect your supply, but it didn't for me. It took a couple of days intensive feeding to get back to breastfeeding exclusively once I was ready for it. And even if it does ultimately reduce your supply it might enable you to continue for a whole lot longer than you would otherwise.

I would always always recommend mixing rather than giving up altogether. x

It's only been 10 days so it is quite normal to be struggling and settling into things. Some people just cannot express, I couldn't in spite of trying and trying with different types of pumps and at different times, BUT I breastfed my children for 18 and 23 months respectively.

I know the pain is horrible and I know how it feels to absolutely dread the next feed, but it will get better in time. Tbh that was the only thing that kept me going, the fact that it will get better.

Lisa - I could have written this too, it hurts far more at night time for some reason, I was using lansinoh religiously and I was still getting tiny cracks appearing at the base of my nipple despite the fact that I know she is latched on well.
I too, can't express, my milk will not let down.

However, this was early days, my baby is now just 4 weeks old and things have improved tenfold. I'm no longer sore, no longer need the creams etc and find the night feeds are becoming faster and easier.

I wonder whether it is because my baby's mouth is getting bigger or we are just getting used to it, but my message is carry on if you really want to because in such a short space of time you could be saying a completely different story xx

This is slightly odd advice but I found for the first 2-3 weeks whilst I was still anxious to get the latch right each time it was easier to get up and go and sit in another room to feed DD in the night.

When she woke I'd scoop her out of the moses basket and go and sit on the couch in the room next door. I'd turn the lights on, read a book and generally have something to eat too (it wasn't till I'd been bf-ing about 8 weeks that I stopped needing to take a flapjack up to bed with me). Her feeds at that stage often took 30-40 mins and my nipples were still a bit sore so I found feeding in the dark and in bed quite boring and depressing. Getting up also meant I could keep an eye on her and could correct things if her latch got a little sloppy which happened quite a lot because she was sleepy too.

Over time I agree that co-sleeping and learning to feed lying down is probably the best way to maximise the amount of sleep you get but if you are still getting sore nipples it might be worth keeping an eye on the latch at every feed for now (and talk to a bf-ing counsellor too if you can, you can't lose because she will either spot ways to improve your feeding relationship or she will reassure you that you are doing everything right and the pain and discomfort you are experiencing will go soon).

The effort required to bf decreases dramatically over time. It is kind of the opposite of formula feeding, which is probably a lot easier to begin with than bf-ing but continues to be a moderate amount of faff for the whole of the first year. Breastfeeding is hard, sometimes very hard, to begin with and becomes dead easy fairly quickly (people will give you different timescales for this, 6 weeks seems to be average but my DD had a monster growth spurt between 6 and 8 weeks and it was only after 8 weeks I began to stop fretting that I was doing it all wrong and began to appreciate how convenient it was instead). At 6 months breastfeeding is so simple I'm kind of reluctant to introduce solids because cleaning DD up after meals is so much hassle!

It absolutely definitely will get better, hopefully really soon.

Not much more to add except

1. really well done for sticking on and trying

2. it segts easier and easier the older the baby gets....honestly

3. I found laying down and feeding so much easier personally

segets should read gets!

Thak you all so much for your support ad kind words.. it is just the night feeds which are painful and I really do put this down to tiredness, My mw suggested I try using breast shells which arrived this morning and I have to say that so far the feeds throughout today have seemed alot easier (hooray!!) so fingers crossed for tonight.. My hubby has also suggested I wake him to come and sit and chat to me while I feed.. I think this will really help and if not, at least he will know how knackered I am!! Ha ha

unfortunately feeding bubba while laying in bed is not an option for me as hubby is a heavy smoker (not in the house I must add)I have tried laying on the sofa to feed but the risk of dropping or rolling on him is just too high!

bubba was weighed today and has finally started to gain weight so I am deffo feeling more positive and even more determined to carry on!!

thanks again
Lisa xx

Great news about the weight gain LisaK and good that you are feeling happier.

What a nice hubby to come and sit with you throughout the night feeds too.

Congrats on the weight gain - if you can't feed lying down (and I echo CB - what a nice hubby to offer to keep you company!) then you must protect your naps during the day. Let the housework wait, sleep every 10 minutes you get.

Congrats on your beautiful baby!

Congratulations on theweight gaining . Another idea is to put a matress in a different room if you have space and pad the floor with a blanket next to lo and feed laying down there x

sounds like you are doing great. I also struggled with night feeds at the start, I think it's just hard to get latch and position right when you're half asleep!