Managing meal times with newborn and toddler

[MiniMarmite]

I'm looking for some advice from those of you with experience of breastfeeding a newborn with a toddler in tow.

I think I have a plan for most times of day but I can't get my head around managing the evening meal since DS arrived (only 8 days ago so I know I need to give it a bit more time).

At the moment we eat as a family at around 6 pm. as this is when DH arrives home from work. DS1 (recently turned 2) then has his bath around 6:50 p.m. and is in bed by 7:30 p.m.ish.

I don't want us to stop having meals together but, since DS2 needs a feed between 5 and 6 I'm trying to work out how to
a) prepare the meal
b) be able to eat the meal
c) be able to bathe DS2 on some days without him going to bed really late.

I can do some advance preparation, particularly on the 2 days a week that DS is a nursery and I'm also happy to eat my dinner and breastfeed at the same time (although this is tricky at the moment as it is early days and feeding is taking ages).

I'm sure we'll eventually muddle through but if anyone has some top tips, that would be great.

I should also mention that I'm definitely aiming to establish a feeding routine (with additional feeds as needed).

TIA

Juggling newborns and toddlers can be tricky, but you'll find your own routines naturally with time.
I too often found myself breastfeeding and eating at the same time.
It partly depends on what you usually eat, but some feeding can be done while the meal is in the oven. For quick preparation meals, you might be able to squeeze a 5:00 feed in before cooking.
As you say, the feeds take a while at the moment, but once you and DS2 get used to it all, everything will be quicker and more natural which will help too.
Then, of course, there's the option of ready meals and take aways, which are easier on the preparation! You don't need to feel guilty about those at this point!

Slow cooker is useful.

Sling also.

I think either DH or I had to eat cold food every evening for months. But then DS was a screamer.

I've got a newborn and a toddler.
thus far I've been cooking stuff that can be prepared in advance, then warmed through at the last minute (chilli, curry, chicken cacciatore, hearty soups). I then warm it through and dish up straight after DD2 has had a bf. Most of those sorts of meals can be eaten one handed with a spoon if need be.

Your baby is 8 days old. The straight answer is you should not be cooking yet!

However, in the real world sometimes it's necessary. I would suggest preparing the meal earlier in the day. Slow cookers are great. Go for low effort meals (eg jacket potato and beans, pizza, oven chips and some sort of breaded product with frozen peas) and things that can be reheated like bolognase. Have you got any friends who might bring you dinner one night over the next couple of weeks? People usually love to be asked to help in some way.

A sling might help to keep baby happy while you do essential things (stretchy wrap or mei tai), although obviously be extremly careful near anything hot.

It will get easier . Oh and congratulations!

I don't think dc3 was bathed for aout 6 weeks. Just had a quick wipe down when convenient. She didn't seem to suffer for it. Toddlers don't need a bath every day either.

Lower standards may help .

Don't worry Brollyflower we've lots of food in the freezer and DH is cooking/reheating at the moment, just thinking ahead with a slight sense of panic! I think you are right about lowering standards .

Thanks for all the advice so far everyone, starting to feel a little calmer!

We have an 8 week old & a 3 yo & dh works till 7 2 nights a week.

I tend to do things in stages during the day. For the first few weeks though I couldn't have a meal without breastfeeding or a screaming baby. Now I find a swinging chair buys me about half an hour at tea time. We often end up eating late too.

Evening mm. Popped over to see if I could give some advice but have absolutely nothing new to add (no surprises there then ). Prepare as much as you can in advance, sling, multitasking and lower standards sound about right. Please remember though he is only 8 days old... Don't stress, it will come with time.

We moved bathing to mornings, used a sling if needed for dinner, ordered food to be delivered and cooked easy things like pasta, beans, jackets for those nights when baby not playing ball! If you settle down for a feed an hour before needing to start cooking then you have a fighting chance of baby settling down for you in time.

I can say from experience it's not possible to breastfeed and butter crumpets!

I ate every meal one handed with ds2 bfeeding for about 4 months I think - became a bit of a standing joke with me and ds1 that baby liked to eat his dinner with us. I went for lots of one pot type meals and things with pasta and rice.
Be prepared to be a little flexible though - your older dc will not suffer if dinner is a bit late / he doesn't get a bath. Nor will the baby suffer if he has to wait 5 mins for his feed whilst you throw some food on a plate for ds1.

you could feed the children at 5-6 pm and then eat with DH at about 8pm. Tis what we do and saves a load of stress at mealtimes.

And baths, the DS's aged 4 and 9 months get 3 baths a week if they are lucky . Seriously, young children don't get that dirty. Give yourself a break

Everything can be reheated! Stews, sauces, even sausages, fish. Rice, pasta, mashed potatoes. Even baked potatoes with tuna mayo for example or just baked beans and cheese. In an ideal world you would cook these things fresh just before you serve them, but it doesn't matter to have cooked them 2 hours earlier and warm them up in a serving dish. It will be fine for the next month or so while baby is so little.
The last thing you want to be doing is worrying about draining freshly cooked veg, pasta, rice etc, grilling things etc.

And the other thing no-one ever told me is that you can serve the same meal two days running, or even three if there's enough of it! I thought I was honour bound to mke a beautiful freshly prepared supper every night.

Oh other tip is, give ds a bath in daytime if you want. It can be a fab way to entertain a toddler in afternoon/morning tojust plonk him in a bath with some toys, and then he hs all the time in the world to splash around as no pressure to put him to bed. And you can feed baby in bathroom whilst he's splashing.
Again it's something I never thought of when I was struggling to juggle baby and toddler, as so obsessed by bedtime routine including a bath.
Or baths can be taken first thing in the morning even...

Wow! You're doing really well. It took about 6 weeks before I prepared much other than the ready meals that MIL brought round! (And we never eat ready meals!

I definitely agree with baths in the daytime. DD used to spend an hour in the bath while DS would get a quick dunk then a long feed in the bathroom.

Also agree with one pot dinners that can be reheated and maybe feeding toddler (and self?) earlier. We eat at about 5 and my DH eats on his own when he gets home.

But most of all don't worry! I found it was all very changeable at that age. (And indeed for about a year after!) You think you have a pattern and then they go and change it again!

1.Use a sling while feeding which leaves hands free.
Make things earlier in the day that you can just heat up. pasta bake, hot pot, casserole and roast pots, prep veg earlier and ready in pan so you can just turn it on.
2) Breastfeed at the table, baby in one arm, fork in the other. DH would cut up food for me
If you do the first 2 then 3) should be fine.
Again you could sling baby for meals to feed, leaving hands free.

I always ended up feeding DD at the table while we ate. On the bright side she picked up a ham sandwich at 23 weeks and scoffed it.

So it might be hard now but in the long run weaning might be just as easy for you

• meals from freezer to oven eg pie and chips
• meals made in 15 mins (you can cut veg earlier in day) eg pasta pesto and brilliant grilled veg mix from waitrose; stirfry
• meals made earlier and reheated like chilli
• meals left in oven for a while so could be left 15 mins longer if a long feed

Other tips

• relax timing
• relax your food standards eg chips won't kill your toddler, and beans on toast is a meal
• relax what "has" to be done eg DS2 had a bath every 7-10 days, babies don't need them
• bouncing chair to put baby in when fractious, you can bounce with your foot whilst eating

You will get through it, I have always done the whole thing by myself as DH has a long commute. There's nothing wrong with a pizza for tea in front of a DVD if your baby is on a marathon feed!

Thanks for your advice everyone. It has given me lots of ideas about how I will manage. I think I am going to push the 5 pm feed a bit later to give me time to do final prep and then feed him until the dinner is actually ready. This should give me 15 minutes hands free to eat.

I think I also have accept that not every meal is going to be prepared from scratch for a little while!

And fewer baths!

Marks and Spencer do some great kids meals. ( and adults too!)

I have been taking my new baby in the bathroom with my older two whilst bathing them - she seems to love it because she can hear and see whats going on. Started doing that when she was about 8 weeks.