Help! 12 week old just won't eat...

[Ellieo]

My 12 week old ds has gradually stopped eating. He was exclusively bf until a couple of weeks ago, when on the HV's advice we switched to mixed feeding because he was putting on very little weight. We started trying to give him a bottle of formula in the evening before bed, then moved on to trying to top up every feed. However, it's now got to the point where he won't take either breast or bottle. He'll latch on to my breast, take about 2 sucks then pull away. This can carry on for 20 minutes or so. With the bottle, he often actively tries to push it away. The most we've managed to get into him is about 2 ozs (and that's on a really good day). Sometimes he seems like he might be in pain, sometimes not. The doctor thought he might have reflux, so we've got him on Gaviscon as well. I'm thoroughly confused, and don't really know what to do. I feel like my breastmilk is starting to decrease because he's not feeding, but if he won't take a bottle, what can I do...?

Have you been to see a bf counsellor? they are ever so helpful.
How much time do you dedicate to feeding ds? I used (unintentionally) fit ds feeding into my routine of things. I took a couple of days out of 'life' and stayed at home and dedicated my time to feeding him. No distractions, relaxed and laid back, taking as much time getting technique sussed, skin to skin contact - actually just stayed in bed most of the time.
Also try expressing to keep up your supply till he gets the hang of it.

No, hadn't thought to see a bf counsellor - I just assumed there was something wrong with ds. I will try and phone one today. I feel a bit peeved that the hv told me to try formula actually, cos that's when the problems really started. Will try expressing to up my milk supply again.

Also meant to say, I'm trying to feed ds three hourly (again on hv's advice). Because he's so fussy at the breast though, I usually give up after about 10/15 minutes. When I try and take longer over it, he just gets really agitated and upset and I don't want him to get negative associations with feeding (bit difficult not to really, since I'm so stressed out about it!)

I'd be annoyed with the health visitor too.

Do you think he might have thrush in his mouth? It would be worth checking. None of mine have had this, but their little cousin had it as a baby and it really put him off feeding.

Think TracyK's advice is excellent too.

I think I saw a bf counsellor when ds was about 4 mo - I didn't think they'd be able to tell me anything new - but boy was I wrong - they know loads!
Ours had a drop in centre on a Thurs morning - maybe yours has one too?

Don't think he's got thrush - will check when he wakes up. The other thing is, I had a tummy bug about two weeks ago and couldn't eat properly for a couple of days. Could this have had an effect?

I think it's possible. I had a bug last January when my DS3 was still fully breastfeeding and although he didn't seem to feed any less, he definitely lost weight!

Do you give the gaviscon before or after feeding? Maybe if its not needed it's filling him up/making him feel yuk? Defo go and see counselor - they are so much better than HV's in regard to bf.

Have tried both before and after feed, neither seems to make much difference - am now wondering if the reflux is a red herring... SHould I stop the gaviscon?

that gaviscon can make them feel worse (even if they do have reflux). If it doesn't seem to make a difference, you can stop (it's just a thickener really, it doesn't have an accumulative effect).

should say, I'm not a doctor but had a dd with reflux

If it doesn't seem to make much diff then I'd drop it and see what happens.

thanks, foxinsocks, what were the symptoms of your dd's reflux? Just want to try and work out if ds does actually have it or not. Think I will stop the gaviscon then - I'm not that happy pumping ds full of drugs anyway.

dd was a very sicky baby - almost every feed came back up (and as I was breastfeeding, I found it quite distressing because I never knew how much had stayed in!). She was a very restless feeder and there was no way we could lie her down after feeding without her being sick - so we had to hold her up a lot. She was very screamy, she used to sort of wriggle a lot as if she was unhappy.

There is a type of reflux (silent reflux), where they don't actually vomit but the food just repeats on them (so it comes up into their throat) and irritates them.

could he be teething? it may be worth using some teething powders, Nelsons I think they are called.

my dd2 started teething early, its worth a go!

here's some interesting stuff on breast feeding and reflux (ignore the bit about cereal because yours is a bit young for that!)

la leche info on reflux

Thanks Foxinsocks, that's really useful. All the symptoms do seem to tally with ds having reflux, but it's interesting that on the La Leche site, they don't mention anything about using Gaviscon. I'll try all their techniques and see if it helps.

ellieo, let us know how it goes. It's so awful when a baby won't feed.

If you think it is reflux (and the doctor agrees), I would definitely go back to your GP. Gaviscon is really just a thickener for the feed (and I found it worked really badly for dd though for some people it works a treat) - there are other medicines he can give you - like a baby version of Zantac (and other things, there are a few options) - that should hopefully make your ds feel more comfortable.

Will keep you all posted. Girly, thanks for the tip about teething. I keep trying to get a look inside his mouth, but he's not being very co-operative today! May give the Nelsons teething powder a go once I've exhausted the reflux route.

yr health visitor should be shot. it is possibly nipple confusion if you started to give a bottle before 7 wks - there was no need to top up w/ formula. i quit giving dd a bottle as she was behaving the same way at 7 wks.- used to give 1 a day. too many times imho reflux is a convenient diagnosis - it CAN BE but unlikely. go to bed w lo. feed for 30 secs or less if necessary. as soon as he is upset, stop, soothe him and try again a couple mins later.

also possibly baby becoming distractible. can't link now b/c of fussy baby on knee. go to kellymom.com & search distractiblr & nipple conf.

and deffo speak to bf counsellor. call helpline instead of waiting till thurs.

ds feeding a BIT better. Alux, I think he was getting distracted. I tried feeding him when he'd just woken from his nap in his room with everything very quiet, and he fed a lot better. Didn't bother with the formula, except for one bottle at night, which dp gave him and he managed 4 ozs! Im still not sure he's getting enough to eat, but I felt I had more milk than usual (maybe because I was a bit less stressed). Gave him gaviscon just the once, but to be honest, am tempted just to give up on it today. Am going to see the doc for a follow-up appt today, so will see what he says.

well done, that sounds fantastic!

Hi Ellio

I know you're concentrating on bfing, but said I'd let you know how I've been getting on. I've copied this from my own thread:

Well, I have some news (I think, hope) Ds today, since midnight has more food in one day than ever before!! (820ml) - and it's still only 7pm!! We ran out of his usual Aptamil powder yesterday , so had to buy some emergency cartons of Aptamil as that's all they sell at our local Tesco, and he's been downing it like there's no tomorrow! still putting Gaviscon in - Boots won't have the Ranitidene until tomorrow.

I'm not counting my chickens too much just yet seeing as yesterday he'd had his lowest day ever, at 385ml, so he could just be compensating for that - but even so ... he seems so much happier

Hope you're getting on well with your little boy

Well done, Charleypops, that's fantastic! News on my ds is we went to the doc yesterday afternoon, and amazingly he'd put on 8oz in 4 days. Don't know how he managed it, since he was eating next to nothing. I've stopped the gaviscon and he seems much happier without it. Yesterday, he ate more than usual, including a full 4oz formula bottle at night plus breast, so maybe things are on the up... Perhaps it's just a 12 week blip thing? Hope so! Anyway, hope things are still going well with you - I never like to count my chickens after only one good day, but one good day is better than none .