Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

8 days post c-section ple inase help me not pack inBF

17 replies

Makinglists · 10/11/2010 07:14

Had DS2 by c-section last week he was 6lb 1oz at birth (born at 38 weeks because of IV placenta previa). Straight after birt he latched beautifully, we've been BF since. At his 3 day check he ha - lost 70g well within his 10% acceptable weight loss. At day 5 the MW was a bit concerned that he hadn't poo'd for 36 hrs and still had urates in his nappy - so suggested we feed then pump and top up which wed to have been doing ever since - I manage to pump about 1/2-1oz each time (seems to increase a bit each day). DS2 takes this and seems satisfied - he is a very content baby and I have to really stimulate him sometimes to feed. When the MW saw him yesterday she was happy that he was now pooing (at lot!!) and weeing with no urates and that he seemed happy the only thing was that his weight was static.

To be honest I do feel like packing it in at the mo. - we had a bad experience BF DS1 who was boderline low birthweight at 5lb9oz and I am terrified of going down the same route as him. It also dosen't help that DH parents are staying (to help post op)and this is putting me under some strain as I feel they are questioning our decision to BF and I've heard them say to DH that a baby should be taking so much from a bottle and hassling me each time MW comes to tell her he has he gained weight etc - I also don't feel comfy pumping in front of them so keep hiding in our bedroom. I know they mean well and have helped a lot but I nearly walked out house on Mon and chucked the two cartons of formula (for dire emergencies) at them and told them to get on with - they are lovely but very opiniated and have somewhat taken over my own home - as they are not my parents I don't feel tell them to go and anyway we do need some help as DH is only starting paternity leave next week. I know they care and they go at the end of the week but I am so stressed what with our bad previous experience, the static weight gain and the 'help'
To be honest I feel very low, crying on the phone to my mum (something I never normally do!!) and just want to pack it in - I'm also getting really jumpy about DS2.

Please tell me it will get better and any advice about how I can up the weight would be great.

PS sorry this is very well written vv tired and PC playing up

OP posts:
Ineedsomesleep · 10/11/2010 07:28

Makinglists, sorry you are feeling so bad. Having your in-laws there is putting you under a lot of pressure. As your DH is starting his Paternity Leave I think you need to have a chat with him and get him to ask his parents to go back home. Think this will give you the time to get used to your new baby and relax in your own home Smile.

As for the weight gain, please don't give up because of MW paranoia. Not all MWs have bf or are even that well informed on bfing.

Please take a look at what Kellymom has to say on weight gain and how to tell if your baby is getting enough milk.

I'm not a trained bfing counsellor though so think that you need to talk to one as soon as possible. Try La Lache League, NCT which opens at 8am, and ABM.

You might feel its a bit early to be going out but could you get someone to take you to your nearest breastfeeding group too?

omnishambles · 10/11/2010 07:29

It will get better I promise - this stage will be over soon and your supply will have settled down and it will all be fine - especially when the inlaws take themselves and their 'help' off.

You need to tell them that you are really grateful for their help but you are determined to bf and what they are saying is unhelpful - just be direct - it isnt to rude to be direct and they shouldnt take it as such.

As well you can tell them when you are about to pump and could they go and do something else at the time not you go and hide yourself away.

You know what you need to do - just out baby to the breast whenever they show the slightest inkling and things will get better - give yourself a break, its a lot to deal with and you're doing really well.

Congratulations!

omnishambles · 10/11/2010 07:30

put baby to the breast obviously - dont 'out' it - that wont help at all...Grin

Ineedsomesleep · 10/11/2010 08:19

How are you getting on now Makinglists?

LittleMissSnowShine · 10/11/2010 08:38

Aww, really sympathise!! My MIL is great and she breastfed herself so she was always very supportive of it but she would more or less tell me to take the baby to another room to do it. Which I guess was one thing when we were visiting them but something else entirely when he was only a week old and they were the ones in our house Hmm

I think all you can do is be direct. Polite but clear about what you want to do - it might ruffle a few feathers but ultimately it'll help you get the support and the atmosphere you need to keep going.

Really hope things work out x

Porcelain · 10/11/2010 09:42

Oh crikey, it will definitely get better. I put off my mother coming straight after my c-sec because I knew space would be more important than help to me. Not that that's much help to you now.

Can you send them out for an afternoon, after getting them to make sure you are well stocked up with drinks and snacks?

What you need is peace and quiet and lots of time with your baby. I know from my experience that it is near impossible to feel comfortable BF a new baby around people who are disapproving. My mother came after a week and kept telling me to give him a bottle to "give myself a break" and questioning why I fed so often, which made me want to hold off feeding him, which is absolutely not what you need.

Take the baby up to bed with you and stay there, or if you would rather commandeer the living room do that, it's your house. But wherever you are, they need to know that they don't hang around you all day making you feel uncomfortable, they should be leaving the room, not you. If he's on the breast all bloody day, the more the better. At that age my DS rarely went for more than half an hour break before having another feed, which makes sense as BM takes 20 minutes to digest, so he was just keeping himself full.

Keep feeding him lots. I'm not sure about the pump and top ups? Are you expressing then giving him the EBM? this seems really silly as the baby will get more milk out of you if his latch is ok (and if it's not, then that is the problem to resolve) and will better stimulate your supply. If the top up is formula, then it won't be helping your supply, he needs to feed and feed and feed, from you, not have formula sitting on his tummy making him too full to eat more! I would discuss this with a MW (maybe a different one to the first) and/or a BFC, to make sure you are doing the best thing. If you want to monitor his intake you can always weigh him before and after feeds. If you question their advice they will either validate it for your peace of mind, or it will become clear the advice is flawed. Are you tickling his cheek/feet to keep him awake when feeding (pretending to pull the nipple away from him can stimulate more sucking too). Have you tried breast compression to get him sucking faster when he slows down? Have you tried changing his nappy to wake him up to feed him some more?

The idea that BM doesn't put weight on babies is rubbish. DS was putting on a pound a week for his first 6 weeks (after initial loss yadda yadda), he started off at 7lbs2 (bang on average) and he's HUGE now, 12 weeks and growing out of 3-6 month clothes.

It will get so, so much better. Houseguests with a new baby are never much fun, no matter how helpful they are I know I can never relax properly. A couple of hours a day to help with your laundry, cook you a meal or whatever is much better, I would get DH to chat to them about going out for stretches during the day, or just leaving you alone in your nest of choice while they do the garden, clean the rest of the house, walk the dog or whatever.

Feeding will get easy. Static weight is still not loss, and if you stick with it, in a couple of weeks it will be lovely.

Makinglists · 10/11/2010 10:37

Thanks for the support - i've called nct helpline and they have given me some advice which i'm going to try - and made me feel more positive about the fact he is weeing and pooing being a good r . will try and post later with an update - sorry about the typing - DS2 in other arm

OP posts:
Ineedsomesleep · 10/11/2010 11:42

Glad you are feeling more positive Smile

Have you thought about printing off the Kellymom stuff and giving it to them to read? That just might shut them up!

You are doing a great job, have a read of Reasons to be Proud.

Ineedsomesleep · 10/11/2010 11:44

Oh, and have you got a bfing support group to go too?

rodformyownback · 10/11/2010 12:09

"When the MW saw him yesterday she was happy that he was now pooing (at lot!!) and weeing with no urates and that he seemed happy the only thing was that his weight was static."

Lists you have the answer here. You're doing a great job! As Porcelain says, maybe ditch the expressing, especially if it's causing you hassle around the inlaws? If you can keep your DS stimulated enough to feed more frequently, just bfing without the interference of pump and bottle would be more likely to set you and baby up for the long haul!

Sorry about the PILs - nightmare. It's great to get the support but difficult to manage the interference that comes with it. My MIL bfed all of her DCs til they were 3 so I have the opposite problem!

Guacamole · 10/11/2010 13:09

I can't say anything other than echo the previous posters, you're doing an excellent job in very difficult circumstances!

Makinglists · 10/11/2010 16:31

Thanks all the pil have decided to go home tomorrow - feel guilty that it might seem that i am rejecting their help but i'll be glad to have the house back and feel free to make my own choices without scruitny. i know they only mean well and have been great but stress of having them around especially the last few days when i think i've got a bit of the 'baby blues' has really got me down. feel bad about perhaps not being more grateful but then again and perhaps a lot of it is in my head but i just want to be on our own with our little family of ds1/2 and dh.

ds2 went for a big feed session between 11.30-1.30 and is still conked out so i'm going to gently wake him soon to start again.

again sorry about typos still working one handed!

OP posts:
crikeybadger · 10/11/2010 16:47

Don't blame you for wanting your family back at all. In these early days you just want to be snuggled up in bed marvelling over the new little creation don't you.

Glad you've spoken to the helpline and are feeling better. (sorry tried to post earlier but lost it!)

Stick with it - sounds like you're doing a fab job! Smile

mindymoo10 · 10/11/2010 18:13

Would agree with what another poster has said about taking the baby to bed- you need to really chill out and being in bed stops you from doing anything!! It will bring in your milk and be good for you and baby.

My LO is 18 weeks and I had my MIL for a week and felt uncomfortable with her around, so please dont beat yourself up- you have a really young baby! Defo would agree with the baby blues- they mess your head up for a few days and you blame yourself for everything and feel under pressure from everyone.... My only advice- CHILL!

Ineedsomesleep · 10/11/2010 18:27

Its a cold night and you've got a snuggly newborn, who could blame you for wanting to be at home with your family?

Glad he had a big feed and zonked out, shows what good stuff you're giving him!

Agree with the other posters that you could maybe give the pump a rest for a couple of days and just feed directly.

You're doing a fantastic job and it will get easier Smile.

swanriver · 10/11/2010 18:36

I had a very sleepy baby post c-sections, especially if the baby was born a bit early (my dd was very sleepy at 38 weeks). The milk was slow in coming in, in fact baby blues was a sign for me that the milk was coming in properly. Is it worth waking baby to feed every two hours even if she seems to be very placid? I remember this was consideration with my babies, that they weren't waking me often enough. Then not stimulating supply, etc etc..
There was a lot of heckling from professionals around me about forcing baby to take topups because too weak/sleepy to suck at breast, and then she would be strong enough to bf properly, and demand more feeds. Is this perhaps what the in-laws and midwife is hinting at?

got to run, good luck, you can do it!

Ineedsomesleep · 10/11/2010 19:18

Swanriver, can remember having a time when I was a bit concerned about DD's weight and I woke her every 2 hours for a feed. That seemed to sort it out after a couple of days then I went back to every 3 hours.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread