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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Rusk Wielding Grannies

45 replies

jumblequeen · 08/11/2010 12:22

Not sure whether I ought to be posting this in the weaning section, but this seemed a better place as I don't actually want to wean! Anyway...

Very keen for this not to turn into a MIL-bashing thread (god knows there's enough of those) but I'm finding myself losing patience with my MIL. The latest is that my son cries because he's hungry and I ought to be crumbling rusks into his bottle. 1 - he's only 15 weeks and 2 - he's breastfed, so why would I bother expressing and bottlefeeding? Of course he cries when he's hungry, but I am meeting his needs... he's huge, so no worries there. I should say that we're not adverse to weaning him a bit short of the 6 month mark if we feel he's ready, but definitely not now.

Any advice on how to counter her "good intentions" very gratefully received!

OP posts:

Fibilou · 08/11/2010 20:43

"Thanks all. We've tried mentioning the health-risks of weaning baby too early but she has looked upon this the way she looks on most modern (ie post-war) baby-rearing techniques... with a somewhat scornful look"

Ask her, if she had cancer, would she prefer to be treated with "modern" methods or 1940s ? I had to use this argument on my parents who are very anti progress in the baby department

eaglewings · 08/11/2010 20:51

Moonface your son is telling you he wants to learn to drive

Original poster

jumblequeen · 08/11/2010 21:12

MoonUnitAlpha, Fibilou - these are excellent suggestions. I'm thinking a combination of the two might just work!

OP posts:

Wigeon · 08/11/2010 21:19

Have a look at this very recent "granny telling me to put rusks in formula" thread!

here

I repeat - why oh why would you choose to go against all medical advice in this area of your life (your child's life!) when you wouldn't in any other?! (come on, other posters, there is a world of difference weaning a bit before the golden 6 months, and actually putting rusks in a bottle of a very young child).

grannieonabike · 08/11/2010 21:37

Do what you think is right.

I think everyone has to remember that there are so many different approaches that the only people who really know what is best are the ones who are with the baby 24/7. Not doctors or researchers or even expert grannies! You.

You mother did things her way, and they worked - look how you've turned out. Now it's your turn to do it your way, and it will work too, even if it's totally different from what your mother did.

Your mother can sit back here, and enjoy her grandchild, leaving all the worrying and decision-making to you. All she has to do is support you in what you decide, and if you want, she can give you some tried and tested methods that worked well a hundred years ago. You can consider them, along with all the other information you have access to, and make your own decisions. You know best.

Each good decision will give you more confidence. Each mistake will teach you something.

You know your mother's there if you need her, and you know that she still puts you first.

Don't put the rusks in the bottle btw.

grannieonabike · 08/11/2010 21:38

Lecture over. Sorry. I am just SO PROUD of being a granny. Sorry.

ZacharyQuack · 08/11/2010 22:00

Surely the BF equivalent of "rusk in a bottle" is "chocolate biscuits in the mother" ?

Original poster

jumblequeen · 08/11/2010 22:26

HAHAHAHA ZacharyQuack!

OP posts:

harverina · 09/11/2010 13:28

Yes zacharyquack thats correct - I believe that the official guidelines are no rusks for babies but lots of biscuits for mummies. I prefer ginger nuts!

Wigeon · 09/11/2010 19:20

Oh, but the crucial difference is that biscuits for mummies (esp chocolate) is bang up to date, 21st century, important medical advice. Oh, and cake is also very medically important. Unlike rusks in bottles.

DancingThroughLife · 09/11/2010 19:41

Needaholiday - my DD has already eaten those 4 things

OP, fwiw I've been fielding the Rusk Issue with my mum for the last 8 weeks or so (DD is 24wks). Been quoting the 6 month rule, advances in research, we're going to BLW etc. Her argument - "but they look so cute with it smushed round their face, and I want an excuse to buy rusks so I can eat them too"

She obviously respects my decision, but as Grannieonabike says, grandparents are so proud that they can't help but interfere share their wisdom

Zacharyquack - I think lemon drizzle cake is the standard medical substitute!

AngelDog · 09/11/2010 20:20

I don't think you have any chance of changing her mind tbh.

My strategy would be: Thank her for her advice. Say politely what you intend to do instead (add reasons if you want).

When she protests, repeat (word for word if necessary). Continue repeating until she gets the idea that she won't persuade you.

I find that 'DH and I have discussed it and have agreed...' is always a good opening line for any stuck record type response.

Deodorant would have been my DS's first food based on interest.

(And go on, do BLW - it's much more fun than mushing stuff :))

gaelicsheep · 10/11/2010 00:31

DD is 20 weeks and my mum is really turning on the pressure to wean. I'm not incidentally, despite my thread the other day. We have established that she is capable of picking up and sucking on a piece of cucumber, but that's as far as it's going just now. But I'm about to go and stay with my parents, and my mum will undoubtably be dropping purees into the conversation on a regular basis. It's sure to make her more settled at night you know.

theborrower · 10/11/2010 10:45

My baby girl is 14 weeks and has her hands in her mouth all the time - not hungry, just likes to suck and lick everything right now. Cue MIL telling me "if she's starting to teeth" (She's not) "give her honey. People will tell you it will rot her teeth but it didn't do my kids any harm". I'm obviously not going to give her honey. She's also constantly suggesting to me that maybe baby just wants a drink of water (as does my mother). I've already said that I checked with both the health visitor and the breast feeding clinic re giving her additional water (I'm mix feeding) and they said it wasn't necessary, but she keeps bringing it up! And the look she gives me when she suggests it and I tell her this...

I'm not looking forward to the 4 month mark when we get told to start weaning her....

MoonUnitAlpha · 10/11/2010 11:10

You should point out to her that the risk with honey isn't their teeth, it's infant botulism that can paralyse or kill a baby! They have warnings on jars of honey for a reason.

AngelDog · 10/11/2010 17:10

If only weaning were the answer - there wouldn't be all these threads in the Sleep forum asking 'why doesn't my 6/7/8/9 etc month sleep?'.

gaelic, the NHS recommendations are to allow your DC finger foods before 6 months if they're sitting up unsupported & are able to pick them up and eat them. Recommendations here.

Sadly my DS's sleep has been worse overall since weaning (although that's unrelated).

Porcelain · 10/11/2010 17:17

I did read somewhere that some research had shown babies were happier if their mothers ate chocolate, it's medicinal you know

theborrower · 10/11/2010 18:33

MoonUnitAlpha - Yep, I knew that about honey and am sure I told her it once, but she's a Daily Mail reader and I don't think she believed me.

AngelDog · 10/11/2010 21:32

BF babies are even happier if their grandmothers make cake for the LO's mother. Maybe you should suggest it. Works for my DS. :)

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 10/11/2010 22:10

Yes Angeldog! Second hand cake is best for bf babies

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