Advice on expressing needed.

[NoTeaForMe]

I need to start expressing milk for my 17 day old baby. I can't continue breastfeeding due to the pain and therefore upset it has caused me. I have mastitis at the moment and a baby who loves to clamp down on the nipple, which has also given me cracked nipples and a blood blister on the end of my nipple, and that's on the side with the mastitis too! SO sore! My latch has been checked and apparently its ok. The breastfeeding counsellor said that if it starts to hurt I should gently remove her from the breast and try again, either on the same side or the other. Problem is I have to do it take her off every few seconds and if I do that she gets very frustrated and gets upset and then can't eat and we have to start all over again an hour later with her not being satisfied and happy in between.

I feel awful about stopping breastfeeding, I am in tears as I write this. But I can't go on like this either, I can't keep dreading hee waking up for a feed, I'm supposed to be enjoying it aren't I?!

Am I an awful mother if I stop and try expressing instead? I feel like I'm failing my baby.

I have a pump and some bottles but have no idea how much I would need to give her or how to store, If it then needs heating etc etc.

All the basics really, can anyone help me?

Firstly, can I say I feel for you. I also had a really tough start with blisters etc but did not have to suffer mastitis, which I hear is awful.

Some info on expressing here and here

I am not trying to make you feel even worse but if you did want to carry on trying to breastfeed, you will get some excellent advice on here. I also dreaded baby waking up and thought I must be doing it wrong as not enjoying it (ha! was more like torture in the beginning). It is so hard taking them off and on a million times but it worked for me. Not saying that to make you feel like you should force yourself to carry on, just to give you a tiny bit of hope that it gets so much easier, in case you did want to.

Do not feel you are failing your baby! You sound like you are trying very hard under horrible circumstances. The important thing is that she gets milk one way or another.

Thankyou for your reply.

I don't really know what to do. I feel awful with any of the options really.

Is it likely that she'll need a top up of formula if I pump?

I'm spending too much of my day crying about all ic this and just want to enjoy my baby now.

Sorry I don't know about top ups (expressing didn't work for me - found it too time consuming). I'm sure others who know their stuff will be along soon.

I'm really sorry to hear its upsetting you so much. If it helps, I've been there! People used to talk about enjoying your baby and I'd think "How? Its such hard work!"

But honestly 17 days is soooo early days. My son is 4 months and I cannot believe how much easier everything including breastfeeding has become. We still have tough days but have faith, it all gets a lot easier. You will find some way of feeding that works for you and your baby.

Aside from that are you getting some sleep, decent food, fresh air? I found that helped me face things and keep things in perspective.

Hi NoTeaForMe you sound pretty fed up! it is entirely possible to express everything - I have a close friend who did it for a year for her son who never latched on. She is now feeding her 2nd 'normally'. It just didn't work out with her son for various reasons. If you can pump enough for her, you won't need to top up with formula.

It doesn't need heating if you pump it and give it to her, and can stay at room temperature (19-26) for up to 8 hours as it is antibacterial. I don't know about heating it after it has been at room temperature for a while though (no idea about that).

What is going on with the latch. If it is genuinely ok then things should be ok if only your nipples healed - so you could just express for a few days / week and then go back to bfing again. I gave my DS a bottle of EBM every other feed - just pumped and gave it to him there and then - for a week and then we just went back to it. I had to be really strict with the latch to prevent cracking again.

My DS is slight TT but we didn't get it snipped - I just had to make sure he latched on properly - and as he got bigger it stopped being painful. He was able to take in more breast and feed better.

hth

19-26 degrees centigrade

Kept in the fridge it is fine up to 8 days (4C or lower, keep in back where temp is more stable).

If it's something you seriously want to do, then I'd rent a hospital grade pump. Check out the NCT website, since yours is quite young, you'll probably get some help in hiring it, otherwise it's about 30pounds a month (well worth for multiple expressing)

Amounts. I don't know newborns but from 6 weeks, typically 24oz a day (19-25oz) before this, they gradually work up to it.

They tend to take more from a bottle rather than the breast directly.

You will need to express in the middle of the night and ideally at least 8 times in 24hrs. You'll need to watch out that you don't produce an oversupply, so make sure you don't build up to getting excessive amounts out. By no means is expressing an end to breast milk, but formula tops-up make it more likely.

Can you hire a lactation consultant to come round?

You can look up cup feeding as a way of feeding her (google dr jack newman, he has a video on his site). Let her latch onto your good breast as much as you feel comfortable with.

None of this is permanent, give yourself a few days, get better and then reassess.

I would get as much RL support as you can, if that means seeing several different breast support people then so be it. At this stage you probably need/could do with emotional support as well as practical help.

And most importantly, you are not bad or failing mother. You have gone above and beyond what most people will do to keep BF. At the end of the day, if you're ill and depressed then the effects of BF will be outweighed IMO. To fully express is the considered the hardest of all worlds, so you are not copping out, you're proving how far your willing to go to even attempt it.

I hope you get some more RL help and that things improve for you

I expressed for DD for three months, with formula top-ups, roughly 2/3 expressed to 1/3 formula - I never quite managed to match my supply to her demand but figured some breastmilk was better than none.

DD would take milk as it came, from the fridge, straight from the bottle immediately after pumping, it didn't seem to bother her.

Kellymom was really useful for me, and has info on estimated intakes for babies on expressed milk - guidelines on how often to pump etc here.

I skirted round the edge of PND with DD due to feeding problems and for me it was the right decision to stop BFing, my relationship with DD improved no end for it. In contrast, I have just had DS and BFing is completely different this time round, so far so good at least.