Still unable to latch - 10 week old

[PeppaKew]

Hi everyone,

I'm after some 'last stand' advice on BF.

My baby girl is nearly 11 weeks and since birth has been unable to latch on. We tried at the hospital for 4 days with no success and I had to feed her formula the minute we got home as this was before my milks had come in.

The next day we visited a BF cafe and they told us she had jaundice and sent us to A&E. At the hospital they made us use formula as my milks were not in yet still.

From the next day I began to express and in a couple of days was able to express enough to feed her breastmilk completely.

I carried on doing this for 3 weeks with a hospital pump, then I got mastitis. The mastitis was very severe and has severely diminished my supply in 1 boob so I now no longer make nearly enough to feed her only breastmilk and she is almost 90% formula. At at pump I get maximum 35mls mainly from the unaffected breast and virtually nothing from the other.

Her latch this whole time has not made any progress (I have tried using nipple shields aswell).

Twice I have tried staying at home for several days, doing skin to skin, staying in bed and pumping to get my supply of milk up, but nothing is really working to make enough for her.

Can anyone offer me any advice. I would like to get my milk supply up to get her back mainly on breast milk using bottles. I had read online that most babies will eventually latch at 8 weeks but she is still not getting it - can anyone help with this.

I have seen 2 lactation consultants and havnt found a solution yet.

She is happy and gaining weight and sleeping very well on formula, but I would prefer to have her on BM if it is manageable.

Does anyone know the cause of poor latch ? I feel she was pushed too much at the start and has an aversion and now is too used to bottle feeding....

I wish I had been more prepared for this.

Sorry to hear you are having problems and I don't have any real advice for you as my first son was the same but gave up BF a lot sooner than you did, It sounds like you have made a real determined effort. I do remember someone checking his palette in case that was a problem but I'm sure you have seen loads of experts who would have spotted a problem. I hope you find an answer. Sorry I can't be any more help.

So sorry to hear that you are having problems but a huge well done for getting this far. I had similar problems so I know how hard, exhausting and demoralising it can be so huge hugs to you. And it's great that your baby is happy and healthy and growing which is the main thing at the end of the day.

My baby wouldn't latch on until about 3 weeks, and when she did she wasn't feeding properly. We left hospital syringe and cup feeding her formula and EBM (but I couldn't express very much either, normally about 10-20 ml) and after a visit to the local breastfeeding clinic we were advised to try her at the breast, then feed her EBM/formula then express to keep up my milk supply. If baby cried and screamed at the breast etc, we were told to just go to feeding her EBM/formula because, as the BF counsellor told us, "you're both just getting distressed and she's burning calories". This regime was supposed to ensure that we were always trying her at the breast (and after a few weeks, she did start doing it, albeit very slowly), topping her up to ensure she was getting the milk that she needed to grow, and expressing to ensure that my milk supply would not go down.

it's a very long story but at about 5 weeks or so and after being observed feeding (she managed it sometimes but was slow and got tired very easily) we were told she had a tongue tie and this was snipped at nearly 8 weeks. It made a difference to her latch and how long she could manage, so I would definitely ask to be referred to a TT specialist, even if they say it doesn't look like much of one (in hospital several midwives said she had one but didn't think it was an issue so I wasn't referred - despite having feeding problems!). I'm not saying this is definitely your problem, but it would be good to rule it out.

Despite the TT being fixed, we never did get to weaning her off bottles as 8 weeks of trying/bottles/expressing had taken its toll on me and I couldn't face more uncertain weeks of doing it all - and I decided that my baby needed a happy mummy. So what we do now is 2 BFs a day (topping up if she needs it) then bottle (formula) the rest of the time. I'm much more relaxed and glad that she at least gets some BM.

The trying/bottles/expressing is exhausting but I believe it has good results for lots of people - maybe it's worth talking about with the lactation consultant. Do keep seeing them - don't worry about pestering them, that's what they're there for!

I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide to do, and I hope you find a solution soon.

Thanks your advice.

I think I may try seeing a Tongue Tie specialist. At first we were told she was not tongue tied, but one BF counsellor said maybe she was partially tongue tied!!!? It is so hard though as I am sure she is so used to bottles now even if she was, she may now have a preference for them.

I do feel though that if they say she is not maybe it is time to stop, but I do want to do everything I can.

If you're worried that the bottles are interfering with the breastfeeding, there are ways to make them less so. Use a slow flow teat so that baby has to suck properly to get it out. We were also advised to feed baby lying on her side on our laps and keeping the bottle pointing at her face (you can use a pillow to place baby on if you like, but remember to put a folded towel underneath her face as milk will dribble out). Bit hard to describe! you tilt the bottle up, not her head (easier with standard size bottles rather than wide necked). I don't know the reason why though! Perhaps its something to do with the milk not dripping into her mouth, and the position is BF like.

Re the tongue tie - like I said, it may not be the problem but definitely worth looking into. I'm kinda mad that they didn't refer us straight away and I wonder if they had done we would have had a different BF story - I don't know.

Re the milk supply - we were referred to Dianne West's Low Milk Supply website - loads of things on there about how to up supply, it's really helpful. Just google it.

I know what you mean about wanting to feel you have done everything and finding it hard to decide whether to stop or not - however, only you can decide when you've had enough, and know how you would feel if you stopped having not explored all avenues - would you be satisfied or would you keep thinking about it?

Part of me still wonders what would have happened if I had kept on going, but then I keep remembering how unhappy I was becoming. I don't know - maybe I'll try to go back.

Anyway, keep posting and let us know how you get on - and good luck!