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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

When did you stop BF through the night?

28 replies

oncemoreintothebreach · 30/10/2010 15:31

I have a 14 month old who is fed to sleep at night and then 2/3 times during the night. I am also feeding 1/2 times in the day, sometimes more if he's poorly.

The bottom line is... I need some sleep! He's not a great eater and never has been. He's very tiny and this is probably the main reason I'm reluctant to stop the night feeds.

When did you stop feeding through the night (say, between 10pm and 6am)? How traumatic was it to stop? How long did it take?

And any other advice/general info please!!

TIA

OP posts:

Secretwishescometrue · 30/10/2010 15:58

Well I coslept and stopped bf ds1 at 14 months altogether as was pg with ds2 and was just exhausted as he would wake in the night like your lo, I would offer him a bottle of weak diluted juice in the first few days and tell him the milk was all gone by day 3 he didn't ask any more and I switched to only offering water if he woke then after a week or so stopped offering any drink and he slept so much better! He had always been a very bad sleeper. With ds2 I bf till he was two but stopped feeding during the night at about 16-18months I explained the milk was tired and had to sleep at night too so he could still have nice mama milk in the morning and when he would wake id tell him it was asleep and he'd say bold milk sometimes give my chest a light slap and snuggle me instead :) I liked he seperated me from the milk and he didn't think it was my fault he couldn't have milk at sleepy time anymore, twas the milk fault it was really painless to be honest, even when I stopped bf altogether

Secretwishescometrue · 30/10/2010 16:05

Sorry didn't mean to post yet (mobile internet with a mind of its own!) was tryin to say when I stopped for good at 2 I explained my milk was sick (i had been in hospital and had had lots of med's which menu I couldn't feed and altho I had planned to wean him off slower I couldn't. Feed him when I got home from so thought it would be easier to do it then and not just say no till I was better then have the two of us to go through it all again iykwim... Anyways...) but really after a week it was fine twas only the first day that was bad to be honest and he was a real milk loving baby! Anyways I'm rambling best of luck hope this helps somewhat :)

Millie1206 · 30/10/2010 20:28

I stopped feeding in the night at 7 months, DS screamed the house down for a couple of nights when I went to him and the best he could get was a cuddle, but gave in eventually. He continued to wake (sometimes every 2-3hrs) for a few weeks but would settle with a cuddle, or even sometimes just patting so I knew then that he only wanted to feed for comfort. He's 9 months now and sleeping through from 7 til 5, the 5am feed is my next project but its hard to get tough at that time in the morning and expect him to go back to sleep! If I feed him he sleeps til 630/7am. I'm lucky though as my DS is a great eater so I felt a bit more confident that he didn't need the milk in the night. Its tough to persevere but you need your rest! Good luck with whatever you try and do x

HandsOffTuonMatrimsMine · 30/10/2010 21:22

DD is 20 months and still nurses through the night (we cosleep though so doesn't really bother me) DS2 was 15 months when he nightweaned and DS1 was around 9 months.

Montifer · 30/10/2010 21:32

DS started to sleep through at about 20 months and was doing so reliably by 2yrs.
It is nice to get a full nights sleep again (although DC2 is about to arrive any day so that'll put an end to that luxury!)

In retrospect, I'm glad I let him night wean of his own accord and think it was easier to bf and know he would settle than face the alternative of lots of crying in the middle of the night.
Would / will do the same again.

Good luck

DefNotYummyMummy · 30/10/2010 22:48

I weaned at 14 months and 13 months with my children. I was also getting up 2/3 times in the night. I suppose it depends on the child, but with my son (14 months), I just lied down with him and gave him a cuddle until he fell asleep and refused him when he tried to have a feed. The first night he cried (I cried too) for about an hour. And that was that. The next night he just accepted the situation. During the night I just lied down with him and held him and patted his back to go back to sleep. I think on the second day he just stopped waking up. It was weird how easy it was. We had a few early starts as I used to b/f him back to sleep in the morning, but when he woke up, I'd just get up and we'd have a cup of tea and breakfast as I used to feed him in the morning too. We saw the sunrise a few times !
When he was 2 he started sleeping a lot better, but that was always his nature - he never wanted to sleep.

My daughter just accepted it straight away and we had a cuddle and I lied down with her to go to sleep and she did. From memory I don't even think she woke up until morning from the first night ! But my daughter does like her sleep.

Good luck.

Caro1302 · 31/10/2010 21:31

I night weaned 2 weeks ago (15 months old). I patted her and stroked her back until she fell asleep. She woke up a few times the first night and sobbed for a minute or 2 then went back to sleep. The second night she woke only once, cried out for a couple of seconds then went back to sleep.

I feel like a different person and people have said how well I'm looking. I've been really productive at work too- I honestly didn't realise how shattered I was.

One thing that was surprising was that I go to sleep much easier. I had previously been on edge, not knowing if she'd wake in 5 minutes or 2 hours so it was stopping me falling asleep.

BollocksToThis · 31/10/2010 21:37

DS stopped feeding at night around 2.3 - I didn't notice at first because we were co-sleeping. I think I was getting fed up and had started wearing a top to bed to hinder him a bit. I'm so glad he did it in his own time though - during tough times I'd half-heartedly tried to refuse him night feeds and I could never handle the upset.

phdlife · 01/11/2010 11:34

glad to find so many people going for so long.

dd is 18m and is feeding probably 1x a night plus 2-3x in the early morning (feed, doze, feed, doze). But we've just been through a horrid month+ where she was feeding every 1.5-2hrs in the night AND she's still feeding up to 6x a day. So I'd tried to stop one night feed and she wasn't having a bar of it (screaming sobbing 30mins+ a night for over a week ) and now I've just given up and gone back to it.

I would LOVE a night's sleep but I guess if she's not taking the hint in any way after 3-4 nights, she's just not ready to stop.

ChilledChick2 · 01/11/2010 14:01

I guess I was extremely lucky as my 2DC's stopped feeding at night from about 3m. Was still BF in the day up to about 4.5m.

jemjabella · 01/11/2010 19:07

Still soldiering on with night feeds at 11.5mo

AngelDog · 01/11/2010 19:43

2 or 3 night feeds here at 10 months.

Have you read the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? She has some gentle ideas for helping babies sleep better at night without needing to be fed.

RubyBuckleberry · 01/11/2010 19:58

13 months and has one at 4/5am, or did, until 4 nights ago when he decided it was back to 11am, 3am and 5/6/7am. i can't do it - i am starting to mainline coffee again. we got to 10.5months with multiple night feeds and i just did 'boring return' never leaving him to cry (i did leave him to shout a bit, but if he got upset, i went in) and it worked in a night, we then had 8weeks ish of a really calm phase and its all kicked off again. i am going to have to do it again and cut it out completely. the message needs to be clear i think. no milk at night. he is 13months fgs, he needs to have a good night sleep! and so do i!

RubyBuckleberry · 01/11/2010 19:59

tis not that black and white though in real life!!!

girliefriend · 01/11/2010 20:07

I stopped bf my dd between the hours of 11pm-7am when she was 6months!!! I need sleep and so does my dd and I knew that she was getting all the calories and milk she needed during the day. There would be no way I would be feeding a 14mo they should be getting everything they need during the day. You'll probably find that when you stop feeding during the night he will then increase how much he wants to eat during the day. It won't take long for him to get the msg but be consistant.

carve133 · 01/11/2010 20:19

I think the first thing you need to do is redefine 'night'. I have found that counting a 5am feed as 'early morning' did wonders for DS's number of night feeds . He is 14 months now and his only BF is somewhere between 5 & 6am (although this week it seems to have lost all of its 'extra hour of sleep' inducing power - arggh!!). We stopped 'night' feeds (i.e. before 5ish) at about 10 months. Second Angeldog on the NCSS. We used her pull off & gradual withdrawal plan and after a few weeks (and once DS was no longer actually hungry at night) he began to accept a cuddle and rock to sleep instead of BF. One day it got to 5am and I realised he hadn't needed to BF (was ). So took a while but not at all traumatic. After we stopped BF we did offer water in a cup in case of thirst and he often drank a good amount, although doesn't as much now as he wakes less these days, and generally only needs a quick pat/find teddy . Have a look for the book on Amazon - highly recommended.

belindarose · 01/11/2010 20:32

I got really hopeful reading the first few replies about how easy this was for people... then read on! Obviously very mixed experiences. I'm toying with the idea of night weaning as my DD (14mo) feeds 2 - 3 times a night, more if teething or unwell. I realised today when talking to a friend though that for some reason I don't want 'sleeping through' to be the reason I stop bf, even though that would be really nice. I just think if I stop at night (if she even lets me) then it'll be the end of bf for us. She only feeds once or twice a day (unless ill or teething!).

RhinestoneCowgirl · 01/11/2010 20:41

I remember it feeling really tough when DS was about that age, I was so knackered and working part-time. IIRC we did try nightweaning at 15 months (DH went in and did all settling). By 18 months DS was going through until 5am - which just about counts as a morning feed - and then coming in with me for bf and going back to sleep. He suddenly dropped this feed at 2 yrs and gave up bf altogether shortly after this.

DD seems to be following the same pattern, she is 22 months now and still has a bf at 5am, and sometimes goes back to sleep, sometimes wants to start the day. I think she feels that she's had 10hrs sleep and doesn't see why she shouldn't start the day...

AngelDog · 01/11/2010 20:49

RubyBucklebury - I reckong your problem is the 13 month sleep regression. More here and here

In general, I wouldn't try night weaning during any developmental spurt / sleep regression period as it's likely to be more traumatic - that's 4 months, 8/9 months, 13 months, 18 months.

Lots of babies wake more frequently during sleep regressions and need more soothing to sleep. My DS, for example, can be rocked to sleep but during a sleep regression it doesn't work and only feeding will do. Once the regression ends, rocking works again.

General info on sleep regressions here.

I wouldn't agree with girliefriend since night feeds are about comfort as well as nutrition - so even babies who don't 'need' that nutrition may still 'need' the feed, especially if they struggle to go back to sleep without it.

OP, at 7 months I did get back down to only 1 feed a night for a month or so using NCSS ideas (with no trauma really), but they're more frequent again now due to the 8/910month sleep regression. I'm not bothering trying to reduce them again till the next developmental spurt is past.

coldcomfortHeart · 01/11/2010 21:01

I stopped bf DS at night when he was 18m and I'm sorry to say it was not easy at all- I was at my wits' end, co-sleeping and feeding him about 5 times a night.

We moved him to his own cot in our room and started by rocking, singing, anything. DH did it. He wasn't amused but we made some progress. I spoke to the HV who told us she was surprised we had made any progress with his in our room, and basically recommended controlled crying.

I was always against the whole idea but was at the end of my rope, and for 10 days did the whole CC thing.

Long story short it was a disaster, poor DS reacted very badly to the whole thing, night and day-time, and we had to abort! I look back on it and feel sad and angry I went against my instincts.

We went back to comforting him without taking him out of the cot, and he seemed to accept this as a sort of medium.

He's 2 next week and still wakes once a night for anything up to two hours- it's so hard but I try to think, he's still little, he obviously needs a bit of comfort and reassurance in the night. I only bf him before bed for about 10mins and we're winding it down. Part of me hopes his sleep might improve with the end of bf but you really don't know!

I'm sorry my story is probably not very helpful but I guess it's good to hear lots of different experiences.

jemjabella · 01/11/2010 21:34

'There would be no way I would be feeding a 14mo they should be getting everything they need during the day.'

See, personally I disagree. I think that nursing is about more than calories and milk. I would hate to be the child that is suddenly night-weaned at some arbitrary age generally proposed as 'the time they no longer need milk at night' by HCPs and 'experts' who've never had kids, let alone breastfed them

And, FWIW, my DD went on a nursing strike for 2 weeks and was getting barely any milk. She didn't up her solids intake to compensate at all.

I don't know about 'get[ting] the msg' I like to send the message to my DD that I am available whenever she needs me...

carve133 · 01/11/2010 21:46

Yep Angeldog we definitely had a 13 month sleep regression (although he wasn't great before then anyway). Should add for the OP that not BF overnight didn't necessarily mean less wakes ups for us, and often took ages to get him back off, but our DS has been a particularly shite sleeper (bless him - lovely otherwise!).

AngelDog · 01/11/2010 22:24

Yes, anecdotally I know of babies for whom stopping feeding to sleep / at night stopped night waking, and others where stopping feeding increased night waking.

MumNWLondon · 01/11/2010 23:09

at 6 months, for each of my dc once they were having solids and also some bottles of formula. generally do late feed (10.30pm?) though until 9 months.

RubyBuckleberry · 02/11/2010 08:45

hello angeldog - i agree! i think he is close to walking but how long will this last!!!! and anyway, no feeding does not garuantee no waking as plenty of friends can testify!

he's also just had MMR (yesterday) so he can have all the milk he wants imo! last night - 11:30, 3am and 5:30 and up for the day...

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