Getting dd latched on is like playing one of those arcade coin machines

[Bumperlicious]

Trying to get her latched on at the moment she has the widest gape before closing her mouth is like trying to get the right moment in one of those penny arcade games. I seem to lose quite a lot :(

Deep sympathy. I spent the first 8 weeks of DS's life saying 'big wide mouth for mummy, DS'. Do you have a breatfeeding cafe you can visit?

Had to at the analogy. It rings so true. I had exactly the same problem and it was hell. I was very lucky to even get the wide gape to begin with. And even if I did catch her at the right moment (very rare) she then pulled off and relatched on the nipple - ouch!

I don't really know what to suggest as the way I solved it was unorthodox and involved nipple shields (which I was using because I was ripped to shreds and in complete agony, plus she had a barracuda-like suck that was bruising me really badly). When we ditched the nipple shields 12 weeks later she was opening her mouth. I suspect the fact she had to learn to negotiate a massive silicone cone had something to do with this, but the main reason was probably that she was 14 weeks and not 2 weeks.

Not much help I know, but you are not alone!

I've been going to twice weekly bfing groups. They are lovely but while they can tell me the principles they can't make me do it right. It's just a case of practise. Gaelic I'm hoping it'll just magically get better as dd gets older. She is 5 weeks.

She doesn't open v wide & doesn't tilt her head back so I having to shift her on.

It probably sounds daft and obvious (in which case I was an idiot) but are you actually allowing her to tilt her head to open her mouth? You're not holding her in such a way that she can't? (I was, I changed, she tilted her head, but still didn't open her mouth!)

I know what you mean but I think I am. She's in her fussy phase at the moment where she doesn't know what she wants! Sleep soon hopefully!

My ds never head tilted/opened his mouth like the babies in the books do, never managed that whole nose to nipple thing. I just had to shove the nipple in at the most hopeful looking moment. Somewhere around 6-7 weeks he started just latching himself on with little input from me though.

Really? DD's 18 weeks and I still don't trust her to do it herself!

'I just had to shove the nipple in at the most hopeful looking moment.'

Yep that's pretty much us at the moment!

bumper, it's not just a case of you "doing it right". I have a dt1 who latches just as badly as you describe (but luckily is rarely fussy), and a dt2 who latched perfectly from minutes after he was born, but is super fussy and spends 23.5 hours either feeding, asleep with a nipple in his mouth, asleep in a sling, or screaming. It's something that you will learn together, and I don't think bad latch has anything to do with fussiness.

don't know if it will help you, but with dt1 I stroke my nipple up her chin towards her lips which triggers a reflex to open her mouth. it means when her mouth opens, my nipple is near her top lip, and gives me slightly better odds of getting a latch.

I think some babies are born missing that reflex MamaChris. I know mine was. What made it even harder is that she was a breast refuser, so when trying to latch her on I was simultaneously holding down two arms that were flailing around getting in the way, and trying to stop her grabbing my cracked nipples.

Thanks for the replies (that better Gaelicsheep ?)

Things are getting slowly better without me doing much differently.

I know the fussiness isn't directly related to poor latching but the pulling off & going back on again constantly means her latching gets worse. After 4 hours of it my nipples are pretty sore.

Saw on the other thread you went to a breastfeeding group Gaelic. I know what you mean about weird. One of my friends is a peer supporter & last week she was helping me but it wasn't going v well. I had my boobs hanging out & was sobbing - really cements a friendship that does!