Help with night weaning

[tots2ten]

dd4 is a few days short of being 1. And has not slept a full night since she was born. I really need her to start sleeping, I have become really shouty and its not fair on anyone.

Last night dh took dd4 downstairs and slept on the sofa, but I could still hear her crying, whenever i go near her she 'paws' at me, pulling my top and screaming if i dont feed her straight away.

It doesnt matter how much food I can get her to eat during the day, she still wakes at least twice a night (on a good night) and every other hour on a bad night.

How can I get her to sleep through. I thought that she would of stopped feeding at night. I bottle fed my other 5 dcs, so by this age they were all sleeping through the night unless they were unwell.

Hello, my DD is 8mo and I have just been to see the doc for depression, caused I think in the main by constantly broken sleep, so I feel your pain.

The doc was lovely and told me that at 8mo DD doesn't need to feed at night, so from that night on we knocked night feeds on the head. I know your DD is older than mine, but what we did was that DH went into her, and settled her. The first night we had to do CC and she cried on and off for about 25 mins. The second and third nights she woke 3 times half an hour apart but settled quickly each time. The fourth and fifth nights she slept through til 6.20 and 6.40 respectively! :)

I suspect your DD is waking through habit, and of course she wants a lovely, cosy, delicious BF to get her back off - who wouldn't? I think you need to get tough, it won't do any harm and actually your well being is very important for the good of the whole family.

I don't like or agree with CC but this sounds much nicer: drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

Thanks for the link jemjabella

GinerCursedEeeee I agree that dd4 is waking out of habit, and one we need to break.

I have decided that tonight I am going to stop feeding at night. I am going to take up a beaker of water and hope that it puts her off from waking.

I am not sure about CC just because she will wake up everyone else.

How did you get on last night? Hope it went ok.

The reason we did CC with DD is that anything else enrages her further - we have tried shush patting and PUPD etc in the past but actually she gets more upset rather than less by us being there.

I also find it is far far better when DH gets up with her in the night to offer water (good idea btw, we do that but I failed to mention it!) - if she sees me she is much harder to settle, I guess because the Milk Bar is so tantalisingly close! Obviously it has the added benefit of me being able to stay in bed for a change, even if I do have to wake him up to go to her!!!

Sorry only now getting back online.

dd4 slept downstairs in the playpen/travel cot, with dh I really needed sleep. And i feel alot more with it this evening and prepared to take up the beaker tonight.

dd4 gets irate with pupd, so may give cc a try, depending on how loud she is

wish me luck

Good luck!

Please not cc. There's a lot of evidence about the release of cortisol being really bad for them. I'm sure this has been discussed ad infinitum on here but there are other ways :(

DialM that is surely about the crying itself, not the controlled crying as such - there are a lot of 'CC Bashers' on here but as I mentioned above my DD settled a lot more quickly through CC than any other method and IMO that has to be better for her. Babies cry, it is impossible to cuddle them to sleep for the rest of your life and do the same several times a night when they wake, at some point they need to learn to go to sleep on their own and if PUPD and ssh patting etc simply distress them more, then I think CC has its place.

Well we did cc (well controlled yelling as she doesnt cry) and did shush/pat. just to make things clear she does not scream as in sob/cry/become very upset, she yells 'AAARRRGGGHHHHH' 'AAAARRGGGHHHHH' then goes silent to listen to see if anyone is coming the starts the screams all over again, there are no tears, no crying just yelling

dd4 woke at about 2.30am and took 40 minutes of me getting up and down giving her, her dummy, and holding her belly and shushing her, but she went back to sleep until about 5am, again gave her the dummy and she screamed for less than 5 mintues and went back to sleep until 7.30

Dont know if it had any thing to do with me being a little bit calmer as I had 2 nights sleep prior to trying to get her to sleep.

DialM, in an ideal world I would not have done CC but i was desperate, and if I had picked her up she would of got very upset at being put back down without being fed (this is what used to happen and I would back down and feed her)

I now have my fingers crossed that tonight is a good night too.

I know there are different views about cc and I know that people make practical choices for themselves and as I say it's most likely been discussed here before.

I just think it's important, particularly as I think the UK is dominated by a very routine based idea of baby care which I would argue is not very baby-friendly, to make sure that any big choices we make are well researched - which yours clearly is.

I hope that your night goes well. :)

Last night dd4 woke at 2.30am as usual but no yelling, no noise, gave her the dummy and she went back to sleep woke again at 5.30, again gave her the dummy and she slept until 7am.

EUREKA!!!!!!!!!!!! Fantastic news well done

Unfortunately it's the opposite in our house, DD slept through twice, and then woke up the next night but as DH had a tummy bug, I had to go in to her - and it did not go down well! She cried on an off for an hour until i relented and fed her. I've been popping in and out ever since :( He now has back problems so can't pick her up or bend over her crib, so I'm stuck with it for the time being...

quietlysuggests Hi-jack away how old is your lo?

GingerCursedEeeee hope you get back into a routine of sleep. I have been getting up with dd as i didnt see it fair on DH as he had work today. And he did sleep on the sofa for 2 nights.

I so hope that she sleeps, I dont think I could go back to the hourly wakings. I know its early days. I feel as if she teases us with sleep then becomes a nightmare

Hourly waking is torture, pure and simple! Fingers crossed for you :)

quietlysuggests I tried dd4 with a bottle but it made no difference to sleep.

I gave her a dummy because she liked to suck. I think she has had the dummy from around 6mths.

I couldnt do serious crying, but as dd was yelling and only got upset when i picked her up and put her back down, I tried CC (or controlled yelling) and it seems to have made a difference last night was night 3 and she only woke once.

Would your ds go to sleep in a cot? We used to co-sleep until dd4 was about 7mths, and started wriggling, after each feed I would put her in the cot. I think its only the last month or two that dd4 has taken any interest in food and now 'eats' a meal.

I am going down the BLW route, for me its easier, i get to eat my meal while its hot and dd4 eats with the rest of us, I have done this since she was about 6mths, (skipped puree stage) she would pick at food, and throw the rest on the floor, the messier the food the more she seems to enjoy.

I did blw with dd3, and ds2 and both were using forks/spoons a lot quicker than the others as they were left alone to 'play' with them at meal times.

FWIW i think that stuff about missing the window is rubbish :) Go with what your DS wants on that count.