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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

For every BF mum who was told " if you are doing it right it won't hurt"

44 replies

KristinaM · 14/09/2005 14:43

LIke so many of you i was told this, even though no one could tell me what the mysterious thing was that I was doing wrong. The pain eventually went about 14 weeks afer the baby was born.

I was still BF this "baby" until a few weeks ago but have stopped as it was getting extremely painful again. This time I've been told its perfectly normal as i'm 30 weeks pregnant and its "just hormonal". I wonder if hormones could be the reason why so many women find Bf painful after the birth???? No one even suggested this last time - it was "my fault"

Just a thought.......

OP posts:

hewlettsdaughter · 15/09/2005 19:49

Saying "you're not doing it right" or "it's your fault" has got to be about the worst thing anybody can say to you when you're trying to bf. If you plan to bf the new baby, Kristina, maybe you should line up a specialised bf counsellor - they must be trained not to say such things surely!

(Nice to hear from you, by the way - 30 weeks! How is ds?)

Original poster

KristinaM · 15/09/2005 20:31

Thanks HD - Ds1 is fine, just turned 16 months and I only stopped Bf him a few weeks ago, so looking forward to a few weeks break befroe starting again with his littel brother!He is very lively, run, climbs and falls all the time. Doesnt say much beyond the usual selection of noises, mama, dada, shoes, trees, car, birds and lala po

OP posts:

Ulysees · 15/09/2005 20:34

DS1 hurt like hell for the first few weeks and only my stubborness got me through. I got told the same thing My breasts were getting quite engorged at first so this could've been why?

expatinscotland · 15/09/2005 20:55

It hurt so much I really couldn't bare it. I have a low pain threshhold and very sensitive nipples. I'll try again w/this one, but as my nipples are already sensitive and painful again I'm a bit worried.

hewlettsdaughter · 15/09/2005 21:05

Lala po . Introduced dd to the teletubbies just the other day - she was pretty keen.

To this day I don't really know what made it easier for me to bf dd after a few weeks. I don't think our problem was just positioning though.

A good bf counsellor should be able to support you emotionally, as well as help with the latch etc.

Mirage · 16/09/2005 20:26

I found it incredibly painful-I didn't cry whilst in labour but did whilst breastfeeding-it was awful.Watching my friend wincing with pain whilst BF her newborn today bought it all back-I winced along with her!

milward · 16/09/2005 20:46

bf shouldn't be painful. if it is please call a bf counsellor - check the nct www & the la leche league. No one should say it's the mums fault! - if they do then this is rubbish. No one is to blame here. Check position, latch, for thrush, soreness that doesn't get better - a bf counsellor can go through these things with you.
When I was preg at the beginning with ds4 I was bf & it did feel different. I was aware of my dd bf but when I wasn't preg I didn't feel a thing! Think that hormones do play apart.

jessicaandbumpsmummy · 16/09/2005 20:52

im with berolina - im a braless mummy.... and after such a failed attempt at BF Jess, really hoping this time i will suceed.... already producing A LOT more colustrum than i did when pg with jess, and my nipples are getting toughter and tougher by the day - ill update you all in about 5 weeks as to whether it has worked or not!

moondog · 16/09/2005 22:06

japm..good luck this time. Can't believe the baby is due so soon. Seems like yesterday that you announced you were pregnant!

karmamother · 16/09/2005 22:31

Reading this thread has brought back painful memories (or should that be mammories?) of bf my DS 8yrs ago. I got to grips with the bf but what used to bring me to tears was when I went outside into the cold (it was winter) & my poor battered nipples went hard. It was like putting them in a vice! As I'm about to go through that all again (due end Nov) can any MNers come up with any advice? I really think there's a market out there for battery operated nipple warmers.

lunachic · 16/09/2005 22:38

i found it excruiating the first time round even though i was doing it right .i persevered and fed exclusively for a year .the pain went after about 6 to 8 weeeks of feedng. think some of us (esp fair skinned) have more tender nipples than others
i breast fed till about 2/3 months into my second pg but my milk dried up (wasnt drinking enough i think)

good luck with your pg kristina btw

Original poster

KristinaM · 17/09/2005 09:28

Thanks Lunachic. i cant believe I will be starting all over again in November!!! Must be mad!!! Hoping it will be less painful this time around........

Milward - I'm surprised by your comment that Bf in pregnancy "shouldn't be painful". This contradicts what La Leche, NCt and Bf counsellors say!Where did you get this information - coudl you post a link for me? Thanks

OP posts:

rodeo1 · 17/09/2005 14:51

Hi Kristina (and Karmamother)! No I can't believe I going to be doing it again so soon either!!

And I do agree with the comments Lunachic made that some of us just have more sensitive nips. I'm quite fair and have dry skin which cracks easily in winter. I was in excructiating pain for 3 weeks with dd and then 3 weeks with ds, just seemed to me that that my nipple were breaking down and toughening up. It was a breeze after that initial pain.

Got through it last time by expressing every other feed when it was at it's worst and giving a bottle. The break on my nipples really worked so probably will resort to the same plan this time. After a few days of doing this I was able to bf ds exclusively again.

Still really dreading it though! Will have to get positive!!

karmamother · 18/09/2005 21:07

Hi Rodeo1. IME fair skinned women (esp redheads) seem to have more "delicate" nipples whereas women with more melanin have tougher ones. The old advice was to apply some EBM to them after a feed but I've recently read that something like petroleum jelly/yellow soft paraffin is good for preventing the area from drying up too much.

I think its fair to say that the most common reason for giving up bf is pain - usually from incorrect latching. So I think we have to appreciate the belief that "if it hurts you ain't doing it right" a little bit. For many women sorting this out will help but of course there needs to be a period of adjustment for all nipples. Unless your DH/DP exercises them regularly antenatally, that is. If so, well done!!! Which actually brings me to a similar issue, perineal massage. I read in a magazine that you put both thumbs into your vaginal opening to do this. I'm lucky if I can reach with just the one!! Guess my DP can lend a hand. Or a thumb.

mears · 18/09/2005 21:17

I agree that some women will find breastfeeding painful for a number of weeks even when baby is latched properly. In these cases visualisation techniques can help - just like those used for labour. The longest I have known someone to experience pain was 14 weeks then suddenly it was painfree - for no apparent reason. I have never known anyone continue to feel pain beyond that time.,

moondog · 18/09/2005 21:34

That's interesting mears.
I do remember sobbing in the shower and remembering that people had told me 6 weeks max....
It was the case with me as it happened.
(Hastily adding that the 14 week pain thing is highly unusual in case any first time pg women are reading! Blimey! Poor woman. Another candidate for the plinth in Trafalger Square after Alison Lapper vacates it???)

(

milward · 18/09/2005 21:45

KristinaM - yes it's true bf shouldn't be painful in preg. SOme mums do experience sore nipples as a result of pregnancy but not EVERY mum. It can't be assumed that bf in preg will be painful.
I don't contradicte the advice of LLL, nct & others - especially what a bf counsellor would tell you.

For a reference check page 409 of the La Leche League Bf handbook to read this - quote "The onset of sore nipples is individual and can very. Some women notice soreness before they miss their first menstrual period. OTHERS NEVER EXPERIENCE IT or notice it only in late pregnancy."......

So not every mum will get soreness. There's lots to do to help mums who do get sore nipples in preg. As Mears says visualization helps as does changing bf positions.

hunkermunker · 18/09/2005 21:48

I had soreness when feeding DS while pg, but I just enjoyed the lie down too much to stop

moondog · 18/09/2005 21:57

Yes,I've known many people who were pretty ambivalent about b/feeding (got in the formula and bottles just in case) and absolutley sailed through it all with no problems.
Then you had people like me who would rather hack my tits off with a blunt Swiss Army jobby than bottlefeed and yet had a pretty grim time to start off.

'It's a funny old world!!' (said Cockney chirpy chappy style!)

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