dilema - to give up breast feeding or not.

[taten]

I have got myself into a real state over whether or not to give up breastfeeding. My DD is 3months old and I have been mixed feeding her. Recently though we have been having trouble BF'ding (tbh it has never really been plain sailing).
My main issues
1)My LO feeds for approx 4-5 mins (I can set a clock by it) and then will start to fuss and pull at the nipple, or slide down the nipple. 2)She has suffered from a blocked nose for at least the last 3 weeks, which has made feeding a nightmare for her (she gets so fed up she gives up)
3)I have been worried that with her only eating 4-5 mins properly she is not getting enough food (although she is weighted regularly and is always putting on weight, so she is healthy). She always seems hungry.
4) most importantly DD suffers from reflux, when I BF her I can't get the infant Gaviscon into her after her feed, she just isn't interested in drinking it.

I feel like I need to go to bottles to combat all the issues above but I am really feeling torn about it and have been getting quite upset about it, any help/thoughts would be greatly appreciated....

I wonder whether the fussing and pulling is because after around 5 mins the milk can often slow down and if a baby is used to a bottle as well it can be frustrating? Do you only use slow flow teats on the bottle?

re the reflux - can you not fed it to her in a syringe just before the BF?

I did find though that by 3 months feeds did get shorter, esp with DS1, he just wanted 5 mins from each side. He wasn't prepared to suck for slow milk...... so he had shorter feeds more often.

I did wonder if in fact 5 mins was all she needed but I keep reading that they need to drain the breast to make sure they get to the high fat hind milk, is this true?

My ds could feed completely in 5 minutes, no problems. Don't worry about hind milk - your dd is obv getting all she needs as is putting on weight.

How often is she feeding ?

it can be 1.5-2 hours, sometimes less and sometimes longer but that is about normal. Not sure if this is more to do with me miss reading her cues and that I should be stretching her out longer...

Hey, I totally sympathise. My LO is 14 weeks and for past ten days has been feeding every 1.5 to 2 hours, day and night. This is longer than a growth spurt so not sure what is going on. I'm totally exhausted. Have to be honest and say we have introduced a bottle of formula at 10pm to give me a break - although this doesn't make her stretch her next feed for much longer.
My concern that she's hungry so needs a feed but this has to be balanced by your mental well being too and if you're knackered, not good for baby.
Sorry not sure I'm being much use, just sympathy really! My ds had reflux and they do grow out of it.

ok well 4-5 minutes is fine. she may just be very efficient at feeding.
if she has 4-5 mins and then swaps sides is she happy? you can then swap back to the original side if she starts to fuss again
if she is happy, healthy and putting on weight then it really isn't anything to worry about

the blocked nose may not be helping the issue, so once that is cleared up she may start feeding better anyway

it's normal for her to be hungry frequently, breastfed babies like to feed little and often and that's ok. she is clearly taking what she needs

can you give the gaviscon before, or midway through a feed?

gave her the gaviscon prior to feed this afternoon, so she had a bf at 12 (took an hour because she never took herself off, and kept suckling, didnt fall asleep) then at 2 started making signs that she was hungry again!! When she has abottle she settles much more, but just like rubyblue it doesnt really seem to stretch her feeding out much. Ihave expressed and when it separates there does seem to be only a thin layer of creamy milk at the top

DS always has a blocked nose, but I've found using saline drops helps

I gave up breastfeeding when my DS was 4 weeks old (wasn't well with PND) and have felt dreadful about it ever since. It was a terrible decision to be facing - I really feel for you. I tried pumping for sometime after this, but had to stop when I ended up on meds that were incompatible. Well done for feeding for so long while finding it difficult.
If she is gaining weight that is a huge thumbs up. Have you considered exclusively expressing? It is a good option (although probably harder work than BF with all the sterilisation and needing to pump often) and would mean you could avoid the frustration. There is a really good book, I think it's called exclusively expressing breastmilk. If you are interested I could find out for sure. I think in the long run, BF would be easier - have you contact with a support group?
Re bottles - I think "breastflow" ones are good if you are combination feeding, as they use a similar action.
You could also try a nursing supplementer - you load it with expressed milk or formula and when your baby starts to fuss you could let milk flow from it - she would be satisfied and your boobs would still be stimulated to make milk. It's a bit of a faff but should take the frustration out of it until the difficulties have passed.

My nearly 19week old fusses and pulls off after 5mins for most of day, feeding every 2hrs or sooner which seems quite common after looking on internet! See this for advice -

www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/fussy-while-nursing.html

Thanks all, it is really difficult to decide, I feel guilty even thinking about it!

@Hannah7 - thanks for the internet link. Very useful. Answered a lot of questions I had on my DS behaviour whilst BF.

when she starts to do that, just take her off and go for a walk or something. she'll soon let you know if she wants it later. my ds used to catch up at night, having longer, calmer feeds - he seemed focused, he was ready for his milk now . he was just busy discovering the world and didn't want to stop and drink. he would drink just enough to stave off his hunger and then would get really hungry at night .

the milk separation in expressed milk is normal, you can just give it a gentle shake to mix back again. I had a similar prob at that age withds, i phoned the nct bf line, they were v helpful. They said if babys fussing hes trying to tell you sth, which may be as simple as hes not comfortable and wants to change position. So i scrapped the 'keep on 1 breast to empty it' idea id been sticking to, and ds is so much happier. His weight is not affected, and he just seems to be an efficient feeder now, and for some reason he doesnt like my left side as much as my right! So the nct lady was right!

taten, Just wanted to say that when you look at your expressed milk it may look thin and only look like it has a thin layer of creamy milk at the top , but thats how its supposed to be.

If she has a bunged up nose squirt a bit of BM up there and it will help to get it out.

Really, I promise you, 2 hourly feeds is normal and if she normally has 5 min feeds and is putting on weight then great, she's obviously got a good latch and you are producing what she needs. As for the 1 hr feed you mentioned, well she may be about to have a growth spurt, at 11/12 weeks this is also common.

It sounds to me as though you are doing really well with b/feeding, but it isn't necessarily how you expected it to be and that can be a hard thing.

Have you tried giving the gaviscon in a syringe?

:)

Thanks everyone, kickarsequeenofthedamned, thanks for coming back to me re the cream milk layer, I wanted to see the separation because I thought I might not be producing enough of the fat laiden milk that fills her up! So it is comforting to know that she is getting what is needed (or atleast I am producing what she needs).
BF (for me) has been just one heartbreaking issue after another, the first night home I couldn't get her to latch and drink at all, so we resorted to giving her some formula because I became so stressed that she wasn't eating, then it has been moments of the latch not being correct (and subsequently the skin coming off my nipple) to only feeding on one breast etc etc.
I really was naive when it come to BF'ding but no one ever told me (not in any of the antenatel classes) what problems you come up against or how stressful and emotional it would be. I had this rose tinted view of what it would be like. I have since spoken to lots of new mums and friends who have felt exactly the same way.

Taten, it happens a lot. You are not alone on this one (as you've realised). Its down to you now though to decide where you go from here.

Have you seen anyone in rl about the latch problem? or do you think her latch is good now?

As babies grow latching gets easier and better, (generally :))

It is a very emotional time, and if you don't get the help you need yes very stressful.

But, you have survived this.

In all honesty the 1st few months of b/feeding are the most difficult. I think that if you choose to continue you have a very good chance of turning round the heartbreak and turn it into the rose tinted image you thought you would get.

If you want help to continue, just say.

Hope you are ok.

:)

PS, my 1st few months with baby no1 and 2 were pretty awful, I'm still feeding baby no4 and I'm on month 66 of breastfeeding.
It can be turned around.

Thanks for your advice and help it is really appreciated, the first 6 weeks really were hellish. We seem to have the latch sorted now, she just seems to get either really efficient or lazy and to top it off I think she has hit growth spurt!! I am going to keep trying and just take each day as it comes

Good for you Taten, I think you will both be just fine :) If you need anything that can be helped with from the other side of a computer screen, just shout. If you want to talk to me specifically hit "message poster" to the right of my post. There is always someone about, you're never really alone. Good Luck