I'd just like to go out...advice please?

[LaTourEiffel]

DS2 has just turned 12 months. EBF till 6 months, slowly weaned onto foods - he wasn't that keen but eats well now. He's a bit of a bruiser on the 95th centile so obviously its all suited him well.

I'm quite happy that he's still BF - I just go and read Kellymom if I get thoughts that he should be off the breast by now.

At the moment, he expects a feed at bedtime (7.30 / 8.00) and around now (22.00 - he's just started stirring).

Sometimes he'll go through the night from the 22.00 feed to 6.15am, when he has another feed then sleeps till about 7.15. He's been a bit off colour the last week or so and has been waking regularly for feeds. He goes to sleep in his own cot but transfers around now for his night feed then stays in our bed - we all get more sleep this way.

I really want to find a way of going out in the evenings, that doesn't end up in making him wean before he's ready to.

Anyone got any ideas? All suggestions welcome...

Thanks for reading x

has your partner/husband ever tried settling him?

i stayed overnight for my best friend's hen night when ds3 was about 14 months and he was fine!
dp gave him some oat milk in a bottle and then cuddled him to sleep.
apparently he woke once in the night and had a bit more oat milk and cuddles.
dp said he was fine, he cried a bit because i didn't take him and feed him like i would have, but when he realised it was just dp there he snuggled right down and went to sleep lol

i am sure your little boy won't wean as a result of you having the odd night out

I got stricter with night feeds when DD was about 9 months, cuddled her but didn't feed her after bedtime. I've not looked back!

Push the 10pm feed till 10:15 and move it till it gets to 11, or send your DH in to settle him. Once they get used to not having a feed at a particular time they sleep through it.

I also found giving DS a small snack in bed (yes I know not recommended for teeth) but it was only a bit of apple and banana FFS - for three days got him out of the habit of having BF at bedtime and then I just forgot to do that and he forgot he was missing anything. Hurrah.

thisisyesterday: DP has tried a few times, but DS tends to scream louder and louder until I arrive (weak parents ) Although he has been a bit better just recently.

We have tried offering him milk from a bottle and it worked for a couple of nights (sitting him with big brother and he copied DS1) however, by night three he'd sussed what was going on and started throwing strops and boob diving, I felt mean and have gone back to letting him feed.

LLG: I did that with DS1 but DS2 is just so different (big / strong / stroppy) that its not worked - he just gets really worked up. Did this happen with your DD and if so, how long did it take for her to 'see things your way'?

WMMC: I like the idea of pushing back the feed time - its not like I want to go out till silly o'clock - I just want long enough to eat a nice meal and have a few drinks (and maybe a quick boogie natch )!

I'm so silly, I sit here stewing things over for ages, then I finally get my arse into gear and get on MN and the answers are all there.

The funny 'creaking' noise DS2 makes has stopped for now - I'd best go get ready for bed, and see how long I can hold him off for.

G'night ladies and thanks for quick responses.

(6 weeks till work xmas do and counting)

With DD I did it by gradually moving each feed towards the other till they crashed into each other IYSWIM, and after a few weeks, she just slept through (and I was so relieved).

Either way, don't feel bad about wanting to get some time for yourself, it's perfectly normal and natural to want to be a person for a few hours now and then as well as a mummy. :)

Just pick a strategy, try it and see what happens, you have very little to lose and you might even get to sing drunkenly at the works do too!

You could either just try leaving him and see what happens (and don't go far so if you do need to come back it's not too much of a problem) - often they will be completely different for someone else.

Or let him have a later nap than usual, feed at 7ish before you go out, and tell your babysitter that there's no pressure to get him into bed, that you don't mind if he's awake when you get back, and then hopefully you can just put him to sleep a bit later.

(If you're lucky you may even get a lie in this way!)

My dd (6 1/2 months) would only sleep when bf up until last week when dh went up stairs to settle her when she woke. Up until that point she would scream louder and louder until I came in and bf her. It was like a miracle when he first managed to settle her and we both amazed. He has been doing the settling more and more and is finding it easier.

My advice his to get your partner to do the settling and keep on - it will happen eventually!

OK, I got sloppy by my third, I admit! But I would one see what happens if you do go out, he may well be fine and the worst that could happen is that you arrive back and they are both up watching TV or playing. At that point he will most probably have a feed then go back to sleep immediately.

He will not wean, I promise. You will feel better. I have left mine from very young ages in the evening with no expressed milk left. And once they were older weaned babies I would not expect to have to be there at all - hell, I would have been happy for them to be given a yoghurt if they were really bothered. But the few times they did wake and I wasn't there, they were fine and dandy, my mum even got dd2 back to bed after a small play, dd was about 10mo at the time. Have a trial run and see how you get on.

Thanks for sharing everyone - they're all great suggestions. It feels good to feel like I've got options too,

I don't want to change things too much as with him being at nursery all day (7.45 to 17.45) five days a week, we don't get much time for BF except at night and I don't think I'm he's ready to give up yet.

I like the idea of a trial run and have a stupid question - on the works night, its going to be my parents babysitting, but they're coming over especially for that weekend as its DS1's birthday during the week and to do the babysitting for me - if I want to do a 'trial run' I'll have to use a babysitter (one of the girls from DS' nursery) - do you think it will make any difference?

Next question, what to wear, but that's a whole different MN topic!