a bit shy about 'still' bf a 13 month old...

[jaggythistle]

Only a few of my friends and family know that DS still has 2 or 3 feeds a day . My mum is getting a bit edgy as she has the anything after 1 is a bit wrong cut off, despite being otherwise v supportive!

i just feel all kind of defensive about it and worry if it's going to come up in conversation. before he was 1 it was easier to say i wasn't bothering with formula, too much hassle etc, but not many people seem to know it's still good for older babies and toddlers.

me being all defensive seems kind of stupid of me as DS and i are quite happy. just snuggled him back to sleep with a wee feed easily at 6 am anyway. :-)

i am quite well informed having read loads on Kellymom and enjoyed The Politics of Breastfeeding.
just wish i had a bit more confidence sometimes.

suppose that's more about my personality and worrying too much about what other people think though

any tips on not being a worrier welcome :-) thanks for reading my ramble!

Why does your mum think it's "wrong"? Why should anyone know about it if you are feeding at 6am and other private times? It's entirely your business and if you want to keep it a private thing then that's fine. You are not feeding him burgers and chips. I can't see how it might come up in conversation if you don't want it to. I stopped at 12 months but I'm not sure that many people would have known what I was doing.

Hopefully more people will be along in a minute!

I know just what you mean - I am still feeding my 27 month old, often 4-5 times a day, evenings, mornings and at night! And I'm pg. I dread my MIL finding out - she was shocked when I was still feeding at 1 year! I have tried very hard not to focus on what other people think - after all, I don't think I could forgive myself in the future if I looked back and said 'yes I gave up bfing because other people thought it was weird'. I haven't made other choices in my life for that reason and so am not sure why I feel so self-conscious about this one.

Maybe it would help if you just tried to say to yourself when you noticed yourself starting to worry 'oh, there's that set of worries again' - and labelled them as a set of learned thoughts rather than as thoughts you have to engage with? They are just thoughts, nothing more dangerous, and you don't have to act upon them.

God I hate the way that some people make you feel for a nuturing, reassuring, loving, breastfeeding relationship with your child. I was on holiday in Sardinia and breastfed my 9 month old baby on the beach and I was stared at as if I was wearing a big Mr Men outfit or something. I was very discreet, but she was upset and needed settling and it works fantastically. I hated the way they made me feel - 'shame'.

If it's easier I would keep it from those who think they have a right to comment on how you are bringing up your child.

I breastfed my children 14 months each as I felt ready to wean then, and they weren't that bothered any more.

You know what's best for your child. I hope you don't wean just because of these selfish, thoughtless comments.

well if you were my friend I would be proud of you.

I know how you feel but ignore them. I think that more and more people are feeding for longer.

We were discussing this at school and a number of the mums said that they fed til their dc was 2 and had hidden it. They said now they wouldn't care who knew.

I met a mum at the preschool gates who 'confessed' that she had fed her DS until 3yrs, and had only weaned him due to medication she had to take. I then felt comfortable with saying that I was still feeding my younger toddler and that DS had stopped when he was 2.

I know what it's like when you get the comments - particularly when it's someone like your mum who saying it. Mine was really supportive of bf earlier on, but then did start to mutter about DS being 'too big' for it from about a year. She's been a bit better second time round as I think she realised that I just ignored her last time!

Take confidence in the fact that you are doing a good thing for your baby, there's nothing odd or strange about it. :)

I am still bf my dd and bf'd my ds until he was 19 months when he stopped on his own. I was pg at 'the time he stopped too but would have tandem fed if he wanted to. Please feel so proud of yourself and please be proud of the fact you still bf! I still bf my dd on public and proudly tell everyone how long ds fed for! Find your way but please don't feel you have to hide this wonderful thing u are doing! You'll usually find that people with a 'problem' with what you do usually didn't bf or gave up which says more about them than you! X

You just need to have confidence that you are doing a wonderful thing for your child. As the pp said, I would be proud of you if you were my friend - perhaps more people would be impressed than you think. 13 months is not even vaguely "weird", I know several people who have fed way past 2 years. I was only able to do it up until 5 months, but who knows how long I would have done it if it had carried on working - there isn't a magic cut off point. It doesn't matter what your mum thinks either. Do you go to a bfing group?

thanks ladies! this is actually a double post but i have had lovely replies on both so have a nice warm glow.

yeah i go to a bf group, DS is the oldest but he has a wee pal 10 weeks younger too which is nice. i kind of like going to show people it's not weird. iyswim

thanks again, been out a bit late tonight and poor DS was a bit grumpy but has just had his bedtime feed and is happily zonked!