Bf in public for first time & made to it in a cupboard

[mrsissue]

Ok, the title is misleading but I was made to feel uncomfortable. Yesterday we had to take our ds to the hospital for a heart scan. I hadn?t fed in public yet so I took bottles just in case I chickened out. So when we got to the hospital my ds needed feeding when we were in the waiting room, so I felt brave and comfortable enough to do some public feeding. I was with my DH and I had managed to feed my DS with out getting in a mess and I felt really proud of myself and I doubt that anyone even noticed.

We got called in to a room by a nurse to do some checks on ds so I stopped feeding and when she was checking him, she said she thought he seemed hungery, so I said well he was in the middle of a feed, she said we should of told her and they would have waited. Anyway when she finished the check she said were you feeding in the bf room , I said no just in the waiting room, she said no you should be in the bf room, I will take you there now. She made me feel as if I had no choice and took me to a tiny, ex cupboard, that had a chair a changing mat and a bin in it. it was horrible, smelly and there wasn?t enough room for me, ds, dd and DH let along the double buggy and bags as well and the only way I could tell if we were being called by the dr was to have the door wide open any way!

It hasn?t put me off and I bfed again later that day in a café with no problem whilst talking to two young lads, but I was disappointed at the hospital. Any experience shared
Excuse punctuation as I?m feeding and typing

She was probably trying to be helpful in her own misguided way...but the BF room does sound rather unpleasant. I would rather have stayed in the waiting room too.

I've generally just popped DD under my coat or scarf or the baby carrier and BF'd her wherever I happened to be (train, doctor's waiting room, shopping centre, park, museum, walking along the road between house viewings etc..).

I remember how it felt to begin with. I was v. careful not to expose myself too much in the early days but realised quickly that she was so tiny that no one actually noticed what I was doing. It becomes second nature after a while.

Now that she's a big wriggly toddler who likes to feed in the most bizarre contortions imaginable, it's rather harder to be discrete. But by 20 months you just don't care as much as at the start.

What she did was illegal, as of 1 October this year. And what's more it's disgusting, especially in a hospital where they really should know better. Marginalising breastfeeding mothers, forcing them to hide away and pretend it's not happening... no wonder the BF rates are so low.

Grrrrr, this makes me really angry! (Can you tell?)!

Well done to you anyway, first time BF in public is a bit strange, glad you weren't put off by this experience.

If I were you I would complain to the hospital - I'm sure they have a BF room with the best intentions, and if it allows people who aren't comfortable BFing in public to feed then that's great, but they also need to be aware that if people are happy to do it in the waiting room then they should leave them to it. And their staff should be trained with this in mind!

www.equalities.gov.uk/pdf/401727_GEO-BCC_QuickGuide2_acc.pdf

Its probably a good idea that they have a BF room (though it should be decent) for the benefit of the shy, but she was wrong to say you should use it.

Glad you weren't put off!

she shouldn't have used the phrase 'you should'.

If this was an nhs hospital, i would complain to PALS. Best way to get yourself heard.

I think she may have thought she was doing the right thing but she didn?t have a very nice manner anyway and talked me like I was a little child when she was checking DS and even told my DH off giving my DD a toy to play with.

I kind of did tell on her, as we were going into the consultant?s room I said to him quite loudly ?oh sorry I took so long after you called me but we were banished to the breast feeding room? and in fairness he said you can breastfeed where ever you like.

I think the bf room was a token pro bf measure because I am positive that its original purpose was a cupboard.

I really liked bfing in public, like I was doing something good, making it acceptable and I think that maybe younger people, especially boys are getting that its normal because the two lads in the café didn?t seem to notice and were even the ones that started the conversation with us about our dd.

I'd certainly let them know how unsuitable the room is. I once fed in a bfing room in an NHS Dept (just to try it out - I worked there!). It was horrible! Far too warm, tiny room claustrophobic etc. I mentioned my concerns and to their credit they did sort out the heating!

Personally I preferred to feed "in the open", but not everyone does, so bfing rooms are provided for folk who want privacy.

I used the BF room when I was last at the hospital, I felt more comfortable there as the waiting room was packed and I would have been sat on one of those little chairs, trying not elbow the guy next to me.

So I chilled out in there, could expose as much flabby belly as I wanted, gave her a change after etc etc. If I'd been asked to move I'd feel differently I guess.

Have I given the impression I?m opposed to bf rooms? Cause I?m not. It was my first time I bfed in public and managed to do it very discretely and comfortably with nothing flabby exposed. I think if you want to use a room then that?s a choice that should be available to you but you shouldn?t be made to feel like you should be hidden away in a damp, smelling cupboard. I also wonder what these marvellous bf rooms would be like if men bfed? :)

Write to the hospital to complain - firstly about being told to move to the BF room, you can feed wherever you like, and secondly that the room as such a disgrace.

If men bf the rooms would be worse, consider public loos, gents are always vile.

Maybe with these cuts there will be some spacious officrs going spare, with comfy chairs and a tv.

i think its good they have a BFing room, i'm one of the people who don't BF in public. but you should complain about the state of the room, it sounds miserable.

i went into tescos today, and asked to use the changing room to feed DS and was told 'oh no you can't feed your baby in there'. i asked why, she said becuase it's for trying clothes on. when i pointed out the fitting rooms were empty and did it make a difference, then she reluctanctly let me in, realising there was no real argument against that. but having skimmed the equalities doc above i shall be emailing the store to tell them this is unacceptable attitude.