Big mistake giving up BF - want to restart

[SaintEpney]

I exclusively BF DS (now 16 weeks) for the first 12 weeks, then went to stay with my mum for 3 weeks, who said she would help me establish a bedtime routine for him. Now, I love my mum very much, but she had my DB and I in the 70s and apparently "took a pill" in the hospital to stop her milk, so we were FF (no harm done, admittedly!).

She introduced a bottle of formula at 6.30 after his bath - in all good conscience, she wanted to give me a break from doing all the feeds as she was worried about how exhausted I was (I find it impossible to express and have tried to no avail with my midwife friend) which she gave him and then settled him in his cot in my room.

That week, he went on "nursing strike" - screaming, refusing the breast at progressively more and more feed times apart from night time and has now been given more and more bottles to the point that I fed him myself this morning for the first time in what feels like days - which brought me to tears as I realised I missed feeding him and would like to build back up to exclusive breastfeeding as I wholeheartedly believe it's better for him and am regretting being so willing to give up.

(MIL is also v keen on him taking bottles as it means she gets to feed him too - I reckon she's fairly miffed that my mum was able to persuade me to drop the BFing as she had been telling me for weeks that DS "probably isn't getting enough food from you" - despite him being steadily on the the 50th centile since birth...)

So if anyone can point me towards any info that can help with getting back on track with the BFing, that would be amazing. There is an NCT BFing support group near me which I hadn't needed to go to before as DS was such a natural at feeding, but am nervous about turning up with my bottle of formula... silly, I know, but I am ashamed of having given up.

I'm going back to see my mum in 2 weeks and she's already talking about how she's going to get him on solids over the fortnight we are at hers... I will have to put my foot down on that one, I think!!!

TIA

National Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 100 0212

Much better to talk it through with a real person.

Meanwhile, breastfeed as much as your baby will participate. Plan to stay at home, reduce the formula gradually.

Try looking on Kellymom for more tips.

Good luck!

:( :(

Agree strongly that your mother's views and preferences are misplaced - much better short and long-term to make your own decisions, as you say.

It's not that uncommon for babies to react to change with a nursing strike - your baby was cared for differently, in a different place, by a different person. Confusion, anger and frustration result - and they are expressed on the 'territory' the baby shares with you, ie breastfeeding.

You don't have to go to the group if you feel awkward about it - though there is no reason to feel shame, honestly. You can contact the bfc individually and work out a plan with her. She'll discuss with you working up the feeding you are still doing (yay!) and gradually decreasing the bottles of formula as this happens. You will need to express to bring back the milk, too....a lot.

But it can be done, for sure.

We've recently come out of a 2 week nursing strike - albeit with a poorly older baby - so my tips would be:

• lots of skin to skin - close curtains and go about your business topless
• babywear - if you have a sling, use it skin to skin
• offer the breast often, do not freak out or get upset if it is rejected
• if you can get baby latched, smile, stroke his cheek etc and reassure him that it's the best place to be
• offer the breast during and after naps - these were the key here (squeeze nipple to get a droplet of milk out and wipe it across his lips, tease his top lip with your nipple - this will encourage instinctive rooting/feeding reflex)

You will need to start expressing, as often as you can. Even if you've not had any luck before (me neither :( ) do it anyway. Your body will get used to letting down for the pump.

It is bloody hard work (and that was with a 10mo old who was able to get by on solids and the little bits I expressed) but so worth it, honest.

Oh, and you need to put your foot down with your mother.

just wanted to say its entirely possible and good luck... it'll take some determination but it is definitely possible... good advice on this thread already .

Many, many thanks for the positive messages. We will go to the group with our heads held high and speak to the counsellor there as you're right, there is no shame in wanting to resume BFing! I'll look at Kellymom in detail this pm once DS is in bed and am hopeful that we can get back on track with this - after all, he BFd for longer than he's been FFing.

This morning's latch-on was very encouraging, especially as he sucked for ages which made me think he was working to stimulate the flow. He got me through mastitis in week 4 by being a great feeder (and massager, bless his little heart), so I am optimistic about it. Plus a wonderful excuse to spend lots of time together lying down in a darkened room!