Using a dummy in a way that doesn't affect breastfeeding - and is it a sign of weakness?!

[Bumperlicious]

DD2 has currently been feeding on and off all evening, and now is starting to fuss at the breast, turning her head, pulling of, not latching properly but wanting to be on the breast, crying if not. I'm wondering if she would benefit from a dummy at this stage (so that I can go to sleep!).

How can I use it in a way that doesn't interfere with breastfeeding? Am a bit reticent as DD1 loved dummies and gave them up only very reluctantly at 2.5.

Also is using a dummy a sign of weakness. None of my friends have ever felt the need to use them and though I'm sure they never judged me with DD1 I always felt a bit inferior, like I needed them as a crutch (after about a year she only had them for nap times).

Not sure what to do really. Wondering if dummies will help her sleep a bit better (and consequently me sleep better) but scared to interfere with the natural course of breastfeeding.

Is using a dummy a sign of weakness

Good God, NO

The dummy has been a sanity-saver/nipple-protector/baby comforter in my house 3 times now

What I always wonder is why you wouldn't give a dummy to a baby who clearly loves to suck and gets comfort and soothing from it

Unless you have the time to sit and BF constantly, which I didn't 2nd or 3rd times

FWIW, dummies didn't/haven't interfered with BF for me

My ds had one at two weeks and bf just fine!

Just to remind you gaelicsheep, you said:

"In no way do they interfere with the natural course of breastfeeding."

This WAS misleading.

gosh those evenings sound horribly familiar, but it's only a phase, ds is 7 weeks now and though he still doesn't sleep much in the evenings, he's much calmer and doesn't attack my nipples so much. He'll occasionally take a dummy but it takes a bit of persistance. Hope you're doing ok

wrt effects on bf, I guess if you have any problems with supply, you need to let the baby suck you rather than a dummy to build up supply, but if no problems there then don't worry about it. We've had no probs with nipple confusion despite using dummy, bottles and nipple shields

Well I'm sorry jemjabella, but IMHO it is purist nonsense. As always, there's a blanket statement in the healthcare literature - no dummies before b/f established - with no attempt to advise on the appropriate use of one. And, if used appropriately (which I did attempt to convey), I know of nobody whose b/f has been adversely affected.

I spent the first 12 months of DD1's life feeling utterly ashamed that she had a dummy. Some thought it was my weakness for sure because they told me so One comment from a 'family friend' made me feel an utter failure as a mummy
We got rid of it when she turned one, I had decided months earlier that I was happy with her having it until then but no longer.

DD2 has arrived and this time round I couldn't give a monkeys what others think - she loves it, it gives her comfort and saves my boobs untold damage!

FWIW I bf both of them and they had the dummy from 4 days old and 2 days old respectively.

My mum and dad came round for the day a couple of months ago to help out with DD. I'm pretty sure they thought they could knock us into shape with their superior parenting knowledge. My mum is vehemently anti dummy - they're the spawn of the devil and a sign of a lazy mother as far as she's concerned. After one morning with DD, permanently attached to her by the finger when DD wasn't on me, my mother was actively offering the dummy.

gaelicsheep my mum was the same, she stayed overnight and saw me up allllllll night with dd sucking and said 'why not give her a dummy?' :D

I may get flamed for this, but we had to persevere a bit to get DD2 to take a dummy. It's a new and unfamiliar thing in their mouth, so instinct may be to spit it out. We held it in there (very gently of course) for a couple of minutes, and then she started sucking on it. We had to do that every time we gave it to her the first day or two and after that she decided dummies were great.

Though just trying a different shape could also work.....

(Repeating myself...) Just because you don't know of anyone gaelicsheep, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

I know of a lady (this was very recently) who gave her baby a dummy because she wanted to suck constantly (as babies do). Within hours the baby was refusing the breast. This was not an inexperienced mother but someone on their fourth baby. (If you don't believe me, please let me know if you'd like me to PM you the link to the thread in which she asked for help.)

Apply your statements about them "in no way interfering" and it being "nonsense" and you run the risk of first time mothers potentially giving dummies, and then when (if) there is the sign of a problem blaming themselves/their supply/etc rather than the actual cause. So yes, use dummies; encourage others to do so if necessary; but please don't dismiss the potential side effects as bollocks just because you didn't have problems.

Hi
Found most of this thread really interesting. Having fourth baby now and found that with my third (DD) that baby massage on the tummy really helped as she was a fretful baby, I found that certain tummy movements helped her and she was my only child that did not suffer with colic(so no infacol required.)I hope that this may help. All three had dummies and it never affected their Bfing.Fed all three till they where nearly 1 1/2. Hope all gets better for you as I still have this to go through again.

are cherry ones really bad for them? It's the only one dd will take but they're really hard to find as most places just sell the flat orthodontic ones. She only has it occasionally when overtired or has the tummy pain but doesn't want milk saga described. I too hate the sight of a toddler with a dummy and IMHO should not be given to a child who is starting to speak as it can cause speach impairment. But using one has enabled dd to self settle on occasions where she wouldn't have otherwise

Of course jemjabella, but my particular bugbear (at the risk of mounting my personal hobby horse once again) is that I am sick and tired of reading blanket statements about the "risks" of dummies, or nipple shields or bottles in the first few weeks, or ever. That kind of "advice" is IMO completely useless because people are going to do it anyway, and in the absence of any more useful advice may do so in a way that could harm their feeding.

Why on earth, instead of being so damned purist about everything, is b/f advice not aimed at real mothers in real life situations? Explain the potential problems, sure, but accept that for many of us the risk is worth taking to save our sanity and give proper advice about how to avoid those difficulties!!

And reading this thread, and many others, it does seem that those with problems following the use of "artificial nipples" are actually in the minority.

If someone could point me to research that shows that these things really are inherently bad in a substantial proportion of cases, then I might be able to stop banging on about it!

review of current evidence on association between infant pacifier use and breastfeeding

My mother was also vehemently anti-dummy until dd was born and developed hporrendous colic.

All three of mine have successfully breastfed for substantial amount of time (dd 13 months, ds1 13 months, ds2 still going strong at 14 months).

With dd I started using dummies when she was about 4 weeks and started having terrible wind/colic. She would otherwise feed ALL the time, and that seemed to make everything worse.

With ds1 he was about 2 weeks, and ds2 similar.

'Why on earth, instead of being so damned purist about everything, is b/f advice not aimed at real mothers in real life situations?'

Because it's written by men in big fancy offices and has bugger all input from the right people? (Would be my general guess...)

Gaeliccheese - what in interesting article.

I confess that introduced a dummy when ds was 3 days old. He bf until he was 2.7. If he was hungry he would spit his dummy out and start rooting. The trick I think was I kept offering him the breast regularly before offering him his dummy.

He has stopped bfing now but is still addicted to his dummies... but that is another story!

My DD will only entertain the tiny newborn dummies by MAM. Have tried quite a few others. She is 8 months old...

I used a dummy sparingly and it was a godsend for DS's reflux. But I noticed he started to latch on badly after a while so took the dummy away and had to reteach him how to latch on. Now no dummy (at 1). Only used it around 3-4 months when the reflux was pretty bad and he wouldn't settle.