Bf totally random timings - routine?

[MrsH1979]

My 8wk old dd has been ebf on demand. She goes anything from 1.5 hrs to 5 hrs between feeds. It seems totally random. Should I still be feeding her on demand? Or should I be trying to establish some sort of routine. A routine would be great from a planning our day perspective, but I absolutely do not want to do this to the detriment of her. I don't want her to be confused or feel insecure in any way.

I also let her fall asleep on me and downstairs.. Will this put bad habits in place at this age? She just never wants to be in her Moses basket until after her feed around 11.

Or am I overanalysing? First time mum spending too much time worrying!

I think 8 weeks is still little enough to be feeding on demand, I don't think you need to worry about the sleep either yet :)

Yes you are over analysing, and yes you're worrying way too much (which is normal, by the way, we've all done it ).

As you know, demand feeding is recommended, especially for young babies - and she is still very young. I remember how frustrating it can be, but please, stop watching the clock (again, we've all done it!), just go with the flow and enjoy her. They tend to put themselves into some kind of routine that works for them, normally after the 12 week growth spurt.

The falling asleep on you thing has to be your call. I put in a lot of effort to make sure DS only slept in his Moses basket (most of the time at least!) as I didn't want him to get used to sleeping with me... I now choose to put him in my bed for convenience sakes!

I was you but now I have 2 so 2nd has to fit around schedule of 1st
If I need to get her to preschool on time, he has a feed before we go else i know what would happen.
If you really want some relaxed routine advice, try baby whisperer book

Congratulations on your DD! I never moved to a feeding routine with DD, who is now 11 months. I found she gradually fell into a pattern without me dictating it, I just worked with her natural pattern iyswim. I think it was when she was about 12/13 weeks that I started putting her in her basket in the evenings - until then she had wanted to be held/cluster feed through the evening. She now goes to bed around 7 ish after a feed and doesn't like to fall asleep on me, so no bad habits formed here! Those few short months are gone so quickly, enjoy the snuggles and cuddles while you can!

From the planning your day perspective, things do get easier. They do start to go longer between feeds, so if you are going out/have a long journey etc, you can feed before you go and "know" you have got a couple of hours before the next feed. I have never not fed DD if she has requested it as I find that easier than trying to put her off.

Hope that helps!

Oh yes, keep feeding on demand, and don't worry and habits or anything at this point. The great thing about BFing is that you can do it anywhere, so if you plan to be out and about and need to feed, you don't need to bring lots of equipment!

I think I only lasted about a week with my wee/poo/sleep/feed spreadsheet After that just relaxed and fed whenever DS asked (which was often).

Go with the flow, but make sure it really is hunger and not something else (dirty nappy, too hot, cold, tired ) If you just feed every time, and all she is is tired, she will def fall asleep on you. My DS1 always fussed and was a bit wingey before falling asleep at about 8 weeks. ( My SIL still whips out a boob when her 3yo hurts himself. )

Don't see what's wrong with whipping out a boob when they hurt themselves - bf is comfort as well as food.

I started doing "bedtime" at about 8 weeks - bath, feed in darkened room and into bed. Took a few days for ds to be happy going to sleep on his own, and we spent quite a lot of time going in and resettling him, but now at 10 weeks I put him to bed at 8pm and he stays there. I wouldn't worry about bad habits if you're happy with how things are though!

We have a bit of a routine/schedule - built around naps and what we do during the day. I would always feed ds before schedule if he's hungry though. I think a feeding routine can work around you normal, daily routine - it doesn't have to be a strictly timed, GF style thing.

I demand feed my 11mo old, feed her to sleep AND 'whip out a boob' if she hurts herself. :)

I now have a 'routine' based around when my 9.5 m.o. DS usually get hungry, but I also 'whip out a boob' any time he's upset or inexplicably grumpy. I feed him to sleep at night and am sad and disappointed that feeding to sleep doesn't work for naps any more. :(

I wasted far too much time & effort trying to get him to sleep without feeding / rocking in the early days. I wish I'd spent the time enjoying the cuddles instead.

Lots of babies don't develop an early evening bedtime until 3-4 months - it's to do with the biological clock needing to mature. Day-night organisation only really falls into place around 6-8 weeks, so it's early days yet.

Sounds like you're a lovely mum doing a great job. :)

Carry on as you are :)

Yes what is wrong with 'whipping out a boob' if a child is hurt?

I always nursed if baby was fussy then checked nappy/temp/clothing whilst they nursed. If they really weren't interested they didn't feed and if they were but they also needed a nappy change I'd do that after they'd fed. If they were tired they'd fall asleep. Can't beat the problem solving 'Bahs', they quieten a screaming baby and buy you time to work out what's wrong.

PS nothing like a good nurse to sort out a child in pain. DD1 fell down the stairs about two months after self weaning and knocked out her front tooth. It was the first time I'd had to deal with an injured child with no 'Bah' to make the pain go away, DD1 was hysterical because of the sheer amount of blood and the pain and I couldn't take the pain away so had to resort to calpol. Even Nanna couldn't get her to calm down.

OP I have a 7 week old ds and he similarly will space feeds every 1 - 1.5 hours (when cluster feeding) or go as much as 6-7 hours overnight. I also feed on demand and dont have a nighttime routine.

I like you cant offer any advice how this is going to work out - but at least you know others are doing same as you.

My health visitor said not to bother with what she called an 'upstairs routine' for bedtimes until about 3months. She said that unless I was going to be consistent with it it wouldnt work so Id be best off doing what was easiest for me.. i.e. BFing downstairs in the evening.

Marge - what's wrong with that?

Same here, dd2 is 8 weeks, conks out at 11pm and doesn't care where she is then but during the day prefers to sleep on me (sleeps for hours in sling) or naps for 20-30 mins in pram at a time. Also goes anywhere between 1-5 hours between feeds and also cluster feeds.

I would say don't worry, they fall into a pattern themselves and you can look out for that as the weeks pass and then encourage it. Enjoy having her fall asleep on you now while it lasts, tis lovely! Too soon to be worrying about self-settling.

With two now I'm going with the flow as I don't have time to be checking the clock, and it's so much easier just to feed them and hold them when they need it than stressing about routines.

We have a bedtime routine for 10 wk old DD, very basic: just bed, feed upstairs in darkened room, straight into Moses basket next to our bed. Sometimes she is unsettled so I will bring her down and cuddle/feed her all evening () sometimes she will sleep from 1930 straight through until 0430.

Similarly, some days she will feed every hour, sometimes spacing out to 3 hrs. No pattern at all!

Haha, that was a basic routine! I meant bath, then bed etc.

I am also a boob-whipper-outer when DS falls over/is grumpy

Not looking forward to the day when I don't have that weapon in my arsenal.

Yeah - I did it all the time to comfort if hurt when I was actually still producing milk. But after I wasn't I just thought it was a bit odd. They could speak to me by then. I still give huge close cuddles and plenty of comfort if they were hurt- just didn't actully let them suck my boobs.

Not to be funny but why wouldn't she still be producing milk?

There's nothing wrong with dry nursing though. I've dry nursed for about 6 months (spread out over two pgs) and it work just as well at comforting my DDs as regular nursing. Just did nothing to quench their thirst!

I assumed the 3 year old was still breastfeeding.

Why does the fact that they can speak to you make a difference? Makes it easier - they can ask for what they want!