Is it time to stop BFing?

[HoracetheHedgehog]

Hi

My DD is 13 months and a terrible sleeper, she only settles during the night when I bf her. She usually wakes about every 2 hours for a feed, which is bad enough, but recently has also started waking about 20-30 minutes after feeding, which means sometimes I'm up 7 or 8 times a night.

I would really like to keep on BFing her especially as she's only on the 25th centile for weight, but I'm back at work in a new job and so tired I can't concentrate :(

My DS (now 3) was very similar and once I stopped feeding him at 14 months he slept through the night for the first time, which is what I'm hoping DD will do.

Should I just stop feeding her at night? Or will this be too confusing for her and would it be better to totally stop. I'd really hope to get to at least 14 months feeding with her but I just can't carry with all these night-time wake ups...

Is there someone else that could go to her to settle her in the night so she loses the association with the feed?

You can still carry on breastfeeding if you have night weaned, my DD still feeds a few times a day and is fine not feeding at night now. I don't think it's been confusing for her and she has eventually started sleeping better (not sure if this is due to night weaning or some other factor though).

She is a bit older than your DD so I'm not sure on night weaning a 13 mo. Maybe someone on here will have some experiences to share with you.

Thanks for the replies.

cupofcoffee my DH sometimes does go in to her when she wakes and cries after I feed her, but I find that if he does go in she only settles back for perhaps another 20 minutes or so and then cries again. Although I was thinking that if I did night wean I would send DH in every time that she cried so that she didn't see me and expect to be fed?

EauRouge I'd like to carry on BFing her for a bit longer, ideally in the morning and then before bed, but I just wasn't sure whether it would be easier on her to totally stop altogether.

I think I'm just a bit desperate for some sleep now so willing to try anything really :)

I think that if you want to night wean it would be good to set up a plan with dh and after you have given the bedtime feed send him in every time. It will likely be a couple of tiring nights for dh but then your dd will hopefully come to realise that she does not need to be fed to sleep and start settling for longer.

I'd guess the recent problem would be the 13 month sleep regression rather than a feeding issue. It's caused by a big developmental spurt when babies' brains are fizzing away so busily they can't stay asleep.

There's info on it here and here.

The bad news is that during a sleep regression is a very bad time to mess with anything sleep-related, like night feeds. Even if you managed to night wean, the chances are she'd still be waking as much.

The good news is that it will pass on its own without you doing anything. I know at least one other person on here had the same issue with their DC only staying asleep for about 20 mins at a time after waking / feeding. It sorted itself out, you'll be glad to hear. :)

What you need is to work out a strategy with your DH to maximise everyone's sleep by any means possible.

Thanks again for the replies, AngelDog interesting reading in the links you sent.

My preferred option would be to leave DD to slowly wean herself and to sort out her nighttime sleep, but at the moment she's disturbing the whole family with her nightly antics!

I have the book The Wonder Weeks which explains in detail what's happening during each developmental spurt and how your baby might be affected.

It's great and I'd recommend it to anyone - but unfortunately the authors only researched as far as 55 weeks.