OMG I hate night feeding. I HATE night feeding! Someone make me go to bed please.

[gaelicsheep]

I am sat here, again, at close to 1 am not wanting to go to bed because I cannot bear being woken up in the small hours two or three times by a small person (17 weeks) shouting at me. I just can't bear it.

I don't even know if she's hungry half the time. In the past week it seems like she's just playing with me, but she will not settle without nursing. No, strike that, she won't settle anyway - she always ends up in bed with me after the first small hours feed and I hate that too! I feel like a human dummy and I don't like it one bit.

I know it probably won't last forever, I know it's probably a growth spurt/sleep regression/whatever, and I don't think anyone can help, but please somebody make me go to bed!!

Have I already posted my 4 month sleep regression links on one of your other threads? Here they are in case not:

here, here, here and here.

Being awake for a time during the night is common as well as frequent waking. We're in the 9 month sleep regression so I speak from bitter experience. I find it always takes DS 1.5 hours to go back to sleep if he is properly 'up'.

The developmental spurt causing the 4 month regression is around 19 weeks, so hopefully once she hits that it may improve. I do hope so - you've had a rough time.

I started co-sleeping at 4 months and it saved my sanity, despite having vowed never to do it.

margherita76 we transferred DD to cot at 3 months (as she was put in a harness for her hips and didn't fit in the basket), & found she much prefers the cot! The basket made crinkly noises when she moved & when we were putting her in, & I think it woke her up! She also seems to like being able to see out of the sides. Might be worth a try if you have your cot already.

Sympathies. It does stop eventually! Audio books were a life saver for me - meant I had something to look forward to. Pick up baby, press play on CD player, lie and doze while listening to story of choice. My library had a great selection.

I saw your links on another thread, thanks AbgelDog. Was it another one of mine?!

What happens at 19 weeks then (wanting to work out if DD might hit it early)? You'd never guess I'd had one before would you? Must have blanked it all out!

excuse typos (obvious reasons)

LOL at BaggedAndTagged btw. Been there, done that!

thesecondcoming I had Ben who's sodding enormous and I am completely smitten!

I did something new last night- after feeding him till he's almost asleep I tend to burp him, swaddle his arms, and then lie him back down in the co-sleeper. So he goes to bed between 6.30 and 7pm (depending on how long it takes for him to calm down and stop crying). And last night I fed him when he fussed at 10, and again at 12.30am for aaages, and when he started smacking his lips and sounding hopeful (though with eyes closed) at around 2.00am, I patted him a bit, tucked back in his swaddle, and lay there thinking "either properly wake up and show you're hungry or go back to proper sleep!" while trying to go back to sleep.

He went back to sleep! He went back to sleep! When he woke again around 5.10 (when he generally wants to start the day) he ate VERY enthusiastically and there was no chance he'd nap any longer, but it was handy to realise that sometimes he's not really awake when he's gurgling, smacking his lips, and flailing his arms. I think sometimes he's just in the lighter part of his sleep cycle and smells breastmilk, then thinks 'ooh, I could have a little snack' but isn't properly awake OR hungry, just an opportunistic chap.

Sorry, that was a hell of a long post, but... He went back to sleep! maybe I can get more than 2 hours of sleep in row! [hopeful face]

.... he did not sleep. It was like he knew I was talking about him sleeping. It was like I jinxed it.
I am only alive today thanks to tag-team parenting with DH, who patted him and offered him a dummy and rocked him for 2 straight hours, so I could get some sleep in the other room - then we switched over and I fed him for two hours so he could get some - and now here we are at 7am. DS is gurgling on the playmat like he's had nine hours of restful sleep and now he'd like to chat...

gaelic, I post the same link so many times, I completely lose the plot! :)

At around 19 weeks babies start to understand that events are made up of short sequences of 'sub-events', e.g. that they can reach, then grab, then shake an object all as one sequence of movements.

The Wonder Weeks, which is a brilliant book telling you all about these developmental spurts says:

"Your baby may not settle down well at night now. It may be more difficult to get her to bed in the evenings, or she may lie awake at night. She may want a night feeding again, or she may even demand to be fed several times a night. She may also wake up much earlier in the morning."

They also say:

"The fussy period preceding the developmental spurt will often last 5 weeks, although it may be as short as 1 week or as long as 6."

Oh oh, i'd like to join this thread please! DS2 is 9 weeks old, fully breastfed and a big 'un - 9lb 7oz at birth and 14lb 6oz at 2 months. I have the exact same sleeping problems you're all talking about - feeds nicely around 11pm and goes back to sleep then I think he's woken up around 2am as he starts grunting, smacking his lips etc so I get him up and feed him but then realise he was kind of asleep and now I've woken him up fully and then he refuses to go back down again and won't eat properly cos he's not really hungry, just snacking and then he's pulling on and off my nipples for hours on end and generally being a little pain :) . Last night he was up and peering around the room from just gone 2am till just gone 6am when he finally went back to proper sleep, then DS1 gets up at 7am. I'm SO tired.........i'm such a light sleeper myself I just can't sleep through all the grunting and head flailing (I swaddle him so he can't flail his arms :o ) and I think I keep waking him up when actually he would continue sleeping. Each night I vow not to do it and then each night I do it again...gaaaaah.

I threw dd at dh last night (well not really but you know what I mean) & he held her till 4am. She'd been feeding 7-1am and was just fussing. Again tonight when she'd fed enough but was still fussing at the breast I handed her to dh to settle before putting her in the hammock. She slept 10.30-4am!

Oh and I sleep with iPod ear phones in. Means I tend to wake up just in time for crying but miss the grunts.

gaelic, off topic but does swaddling for naps make any difference to how long your DD sleeps?

I just remembered that at that age, DS would wake after 10-15 mins if not swaddled. He grew out of needing swaddling at around 5-6 months. I'm sure you've tried it though. :)

I managed to sleep through some flailing and grunting last night, and only wake when my rock-hard-and-leaking left breast suggested to me that I might like to feed the baby. I picked him up and fed him, and realised that (despite quite loud flailing and grunting) he'd been soundly asleep.

I think I've been so cued in to 'feeding on cue' that I actually grab him and pop a nipple in his mouth before he's actually aware that he's hungry. I am going to try to ignore smacking-lips-in-sleep from now on, and wait till he actually 'demands' to be fed rather than 'cues' it. If only for my sanity.

I slept from 1.30 till 4.15! Nearly three whole hours of relatively uninterrupted sleep! I mean, I tucked a swaddling blanket back on him a few times, and it wasn't like pre-baby sleep (I seem to sleep so much more lightly now) but ooh I feel better.

God, I'm the most twitch-responsive mother I can be, I'm totally obsessed with feeding when he so much as suggests that he might be peckish (and it's showing, he's 3 months old and 16 lbs 8oz!) but I think ignoring all but outright demands at night might reduce my wakings to once or twice, rather than four or five times. And DS will certainly survive - he didn't cry once last night.

Ramble ramble. I'm delirious with having had nearly enough sleep for once!

I tried waiting for the wail rather than lip-smacking at that age figuring maybe it would allow me to get more uninterrupted sleep but instead found that when DD was that awake, it was harder to get her back off so lost more sleep overall. :(

Oh it's so hard isn't it? But I've definitely found recently that DD is making all sorts od noises that sound like she's waking up/awake and looking for food when she's actually either asleep or awake and happy and liable to drift off again. Last night she was definitely awake at 3 so I fed her, but it was very much "oh, OK then, very nice if you're offering" and consequently the "feed" took an hour. She did go back down again thank God - I'd have been very upset if she hadn't! But I cannot sleep through her noises in any case - I figure that by feeding her I at least headed off a wakening at 4 or half past.

I know it's against the guidelines but those noises including the "sink plunger in the corner" as they sucked their fingers are exactly why both my DCs went into their own rooms at a young age (DC1 6 weeks DC2 3 weeks). It also means DH doesn't get disturbed when I'm up feeding. GS are you swaddling still? your DC is a little older than mine (mine is 11 weeks) but I put her in a gro bag and then went back to swaddling I have a pre folded Velcro thing and she settles much easier as otherwise as soon as she is put down her arms flail and she wakes herself. DH also gives her a bottle of EBM at 10.30 ish whether she wakes or not allowing me to go to bed earlier and get some extra precious hours in. She only feeds from one side at night so I express off the opposite side ( hand express in her room whilst ensuring she has settled back ) and use that for following night. I also express just before I go to bed and the combined total is more than enough for her late bottle. It's a bit of a gaff but definitely worth it.
sorry that was a bit long winded but HTH

for gaff read faff!