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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Judge Knows Best when it comes to Breast

8 replies

anon200 · 17/10/2010 14:51

I left my XP in March 2010 due to severe emotional and psychological abuse, my son was 12 weeks old. In June 2010 XP took me to court for contact. He was given 2 hours contact twice a week with handover taking place at a police station. When my son turned 6 months old I started introducing solids. He is now 10 1/2 months old; eating three meals a day with numerous snacks in between, however I continue to breastfeed every few hours or so, as done so since birth, obviously now this is more of a comfort rather than a "feed" as such. Since June however I have increased contact to 2 1/2 hours twice a week, completely in line at a rate that my son can cope with, and I am completely willing to continue to increase contact at a rate accordingly.
In the meantime my XP has been recording conversations with me (and editing them) and has accused me of cutting my arms. These are very serious allegations to make and I have got numerous medical reports which has confirmed that this is completely untrue. the only distress I suffered was at the hands of the emotional abuse and this is reflected in a medical report.
The following court appearance was this October; a three month review. XP was wanting four hours twice a week as of now and a full day when he turns one. I was willing to continue to increase time at a rate child was happy with and explained that he breast feeds continuously. The judge has ordered 4 hours commencing immediately twice a week and as of December (when child turns one a full day once a week and four hours once a week. Explaining that my child still breastfeeds on an emotional level, she wasn't even interested in, apparently I can express, however does this qualify? Is she right in telling me that this is the best thing for my child? Isn't this denying my child his human rights to breastfeed and mine as a mothers?

Also,, after explaining to the judge that there have been voice recordings and false allegations about mental health and the fact that because of these reasons I don't want to see XP at handover and can it take place at a creche, the judge ordered that I still needed to handover child myself and mentioned there had been concerns over mental health before. Well, EXCUSE ME!!! These allegations have proved wrong with evidence from "qualified medical professionals" and since leaving XP I have flourished as I am not having to be subjected to emotional abuse!!!

The longer periods my son has with his father, I will express to keep up my milk supply to when I am with baby I can continue to breastfeed.

We go back to court in March, will overnight contact be granted then I wonder. I am in a pickle. What happened to mother's view? If staying contact is granted in March will probably put an end to BF my son. WHO recommends two years BF? I ask what has happened to our Barbie Doll society?

OP posts:
QueenOfFlamingEverything · 17/10/2010 15:52

can't post much as am bf myself right now, but didn't want you to go unanswered.

i suggest you contact nursing matters, an organisation that camaigns for the rights of bf infants. they will be able to help and advise you and maybe even advocate for your baby.

good luck.

MumNWLondon · 17/10/2010 15:54

I think you need to take specialist advice from a family lawyer.

I do think though that one 4 hour stretch in a at 10.5 months and on solids sounds reasonable but I am no legal expert.

However I agree that overnight sounds unreasonable if still breastfeeding, and even a whole day sounds a bit unreasonable.

jemjabella · 17/10/2010 16:21

I recently spoke to a family member who is a family solicitor for someone else in similar circumstances. This may be of assistance to you too (some bits cut out to protect privacy etc).

On breastfeeding:

"Children Act 1989 says "the child's welfare is paramount". [..] it is widely accepted that a breast-fed baby is better prepared for life than bottle fed, both emotionally and in terms of priming its immune system etc."

On overnight contact:

"He is going to have to show the Court that overnight contact (potential gain for the child) is better than the potential loss for the child - the early termination of breast feeding. [..] Even without the breastfeeding question, Courts are far from keen to act to enable staying contact if the child is less than two years old or so. Tell the mother to stick to her guns."

The baby in question for my original query is older than yours by a few months IIRC.

Do you have a solicitor? This is v. important - if you don't, get one asap.

anon200 · 17/10/2010 16:27

I have a solicitor. The CAFCASS officer wasn't present at court though and the judge has already ordered the contact. I stuck to my guns and it got me no where. His solicitor is suggesting Shared Residency be discussed at court in March, something which I am not in agreement with. My solicitor has advised me that Shared residence does not mean half time with one parent and half time with the other parent and he has also advised that Judges are really keen on granting Shared Residence these days.

OP posts:
anon200 · 17/10/2010 16:32

Thank you QueenOE,

I have emailed above issue to Nursing Matters.

OP posts:
jemjabella · 17/10/2010 16:33

Sorry, have no more advice to offer. Echo PP's suggestion of contacting nursing matters.

anon200 · 17/10/2010 16:36

Never mind jemjabella, thank you though. Unfortunately my child's rights do not come in to it according to this judge.

OP posts:
MoonFaceMama · 17/10/2010 21:50

anon i'm afraid i have no advice but just wanted to wish you the best. I am shocked and angry at the judges response.

I hope this works out for you.

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