if you are BFing, do you co-sleep? Does it work for you?

[PutTheKettleOn]

I'm BFing DD2 (4 months) at the moment and sort of in 2 minds about our sleeping arrangements. Basically she cluster feeds in the evening, falls asleep any time between 8-10pm and goes into her moses basket downstairs. When I go up to bed I take the basket with me, and when she wakes up the first time (anytime from 12.30-3am usually) I bring her into bed with me and she BFs on and off all night. I have tried putting her back in the moses basket, but she never settles.

In a way it is working for us - she never cries at night, I pretty much wake up when I hear her snuffling around for a boob, latch her on and go back to sleep. So I feel that at least this way I am getting as much sleep as is possible with the amount she wakes up.

But in a way it is not working out - DH is on the sofa bed, he doesn't like sharing a bed with DD as he is a very light sleeper and also he worries he will squish her! Plus I don't think I sleep as well with her in the bed and I wake up with cramp in my hip from lying on my side all night. I'm also worried I'm setting myself up for a fall as if we don't get her out of our bed soon, when will she ever learn to sleep in a cot? Plus she is just learning to roll over so I'm worried she will fall out of the bed.

I guess I'm just wondering, if you BF do you co-sleep? If so, does it work for you? And when/how did you make the transition to the cot?

I posted someting similar on the sleep thread and got no replies, so hoping I'll have a bit more luck on here. Thanks.

I'm cosleeping with 19mo DD. Works for us :) Also coslept with the DSs. It meant I got plenty of sleep.

DH often ends up on sofa bed but that tends to be because of night-time visitations from the DSs.

the problem is I swap sides several times during the night, so if DH is in the bed sometimes DD is inbetween us and sometimes on my side. If you don't swap sides how do you swap boobs? I can only feed lying down from the boob that's closest to the mattress iyswim.

I don't mind it for now, in fact I quite like having my little snugglebug next to me However, I would quite like a full night's sleep at some point and maybe to actually have sex with DH again!?

DD1 coslept when she was really tiny but was sleeping through the night in her cot by 6 months and it was bliss! She'd stopped BF by then though, while DD2 won't even take a bottle of EBM so I guess maybe that's the difference.

I swap sides and always, my OH doesn't mind sharing though. :) Some mums trying the leaning over technique but that REALLY killed my back and buggered up the latch too.

Co-sleeping doesn't have to put an end to your sex life

*and always have

I'm bedsharing with DS (10 weeks), and I did the same with DD who is now 7.

DP and I have separate living spaces anyway, but when he stays in my bed he sleeps right to one edge if DS is in the middle and cuddles up to my back if DS is on the outside.

A tip I was given by a BFC to help latching at night is to put a pair of socks under the boob you are feeding from, it helps lift it to a better position. I do this when I remember and it does make for a better latch when we are both sleepy.

......so I'm the outlier. I EBF my 4 wk old son and dont co-sleep at all (okay- I did once in week one for about 2 hrs but that's it)

I don't have anything against it at all, but I know that personally I just couldn't deal with DS snacking all night long and comfort sucking. I guess I just like my boundaries. It's MY bed damnit and I want it to myself and for the sheets to be all nice and crisp and not have milk on them. Respect to all you more sharing, less anal individuals out there!

I prefer to just get up, take him into the nursery and give him a proper feed, then burp him, settle him in his cot and go back to bed.

It works for us because he does go at least 3 hrs between feeds so I'm only up twice and if the second is after 5.30 I usually dont bother going back to bed afterwards.

Don't think I could cope with all night snacking either, or being "used as a dummy", but luckily ds doesn't.

My sheets do end up milky though, but that's as much me as him

i co sleep-am bf dd 11mths- have always done it but not through choice! i get her up to feed her with every intention of putting her back in cot but i always fall asleep bf as am so exhausted.

twice she has fallen out of the bed, once at 6ms(ended up in hosp with big bump on head) and second time at 9 ms old-i feel really guilty now i have pillows on the floor and pillows down either side of the bed to act as a barrier. i wouldnt do it if i could help it just because i worry about squashing her or the falling(again).

I am as it is the only way ds2 will sleep. This is down to health probs though and not bfing.

Of my bfing friends, many never/rarely have baby in the bed and only a handful do it like I do! It is much easier than having to get out of bed though, which I did with ds1 (ffed). Much easier. I def get far more sleep.

Yes to both BFing and co-sleeping (most of the time).

DH moved to the spare room when DD was about a year old (now 20 months). Me and DD sleep v. well (neither of us fully wake when she feeds and I think she goes some nights without feeding now) but DH used to get kicked all night long....

We've recently bought a little Thomas the Tank Engine baby travel bed which is on the floor next to our kingsize bed. DD loves to sleep in there and is quite happy to snuggle down by herself. However, unless she is co-sleeping she wakes after 4 hours and I find it too tiring waking up fully and bringing her into our bed when I have to work the next day so she only sleeps in her own bed at the weekend.

ariane5: "twice she has fallen out of the bed etc.."

Oh dear. It sounds as though it may be safer for you guys to accept that you are going to cosleep sometimes and prepare for it with bedrails/guards at the side as well as pillows on the floor.

We've had these in place since DD could roll herself over and have managed to avoid accidents (at least in the bedroom - she climbs up and falls off pretty much everything else in the rest of the house...)

the awful thing was i had had beanbags on floor every night from her being born as i kept falling asleep and then worrying she woul fall but that night i moved them as ds kept falling out of his bed so i put them next to him (he even has a bed guard too but just wriggles a lot )sods law that it was that night she rolled and fell!

have been using my pregnancy huge pillow down one side of the bed and normal pillows the other side as to buy 2 bed guards was quite expensive but might invest in a couple when finances are a bit healthier!

do feel like a bit of a rubbish mum though i just am too exhausted and fall asleep feeding no matter how hard i try to stay awake!

I bought a bed guard for £13 from tkmaxx last week might be worth a look to see if your local branch has any in stock?

thanks might have a look as when i checked it was the lindam ones and tomy and for two it was quite expensive i know its worth it though so def have to get a couple.

yes and yes and yes it does work for me. Oldest is 9 next is 7, I have a toddler of 22 (in his own room and that went really smoothly) months and a new one of 7 weeks. It has been a smooth transition into their own beds, hasn't trashed my sex life and i haven't squashed any of them either.....

Makes nights less fraught and none of mine have been bad sleepers so I am convinced of the method and will keep at it.

Get a super king size bed is my only tip.

BagAndTagged I only started cosleeping at 12 weeks when I couldn't handle the lack of sleep anymore.
DD used to sleep between 4-6 hours and I like you couldn't understand why anyone would want to co-sleep.

However that all changed when she suddenly started waking every 2 hours or so and feeding for up to an hour. Its amazing how you reassess your boundaries when you haven't slept for a week :)

I co-slept with both DS (even when I stopped BF at around 5 wks) and then again with DD - who was BF for 6 months. I just prefer to have them in bed with me where I can 'feel' and hear every little peep. DH has never had a problem with it either. Only issue is, DD (6yrs) still ends up in our bed most nights during the wee hours (I barely even notice her coming in anymore!) and DS (7yrs) does occasionally!

Whilst I am obviously not against co-sleeping, with DD2, due in 2 weeks, I am going to try and not keep her in the bed, so that I can get her into a much desired routine of feeding and sleeping.....we'll see how it goes though, because as others have pointed out, you get so much mroe sleep when you can just latch baby on and fall back asleep.....

I BF and co-sleep. DD is in the middle now that she can roll. I have also perfected the technique of feeding from either boob whilst lying on the same side. I'm all achy by the morning, but DD is too mahoosive to keep swapping sides with

We bought a king size to deal with the extra person, but it just means DP has more space. I spend most of the night with my arse hanging out of the bed as DD keeps pushing me further and further over

Thenextmrsdrac-I slept alone for years but I did always have various demanding pets creeping in next to me (one cat liked to sleep on my head,given the chance),so the dds were an easy transition!Dh is harder to sleep with as he winds the duvet around himself like a giant thread on a spool and it becomes virtually impossible to unwind.Luckily the DDs don't do that!

ayjayjay Please dont say that. It's what I live in fear of

There was another thread on MN from a woman who's baby fed every 2 hours for 8 months. I was "OMG. Please not me God. I'll do anything!"

Maybe you could use something like this cot or this one -- same idea but a bit fancier-looking. This sort of cot clips or attaches to the bed and you get the best of both worlds as a result.

I BF and co-slept with my youngest three, and it worked out very well, but I think I would give the side cot a try if I had it over, as I slept quite lightly. However, co-sleeping beat getting up all night every night as I did with DD1 for a whole year, or even DS who had a separate cot in our room I still had to get up and sit to feed him, with the snoring of DH ringing in my ears as I tried to get back to sleep again [hhmm], cursing the dawn racket-- chorus on many a fine early summer morning.

BaggedAndTagged fingers crossed then that your one of the lucky ones, they do exist and copying my DDs feeding pattern is by no means inevitable. I'm just bitter because I'm the only one of my NCT group whose baby doesn't sleep through the night :)

DD fed hourly between months 4 and 7. Thank god that's a thing of the past.

yes, becuase he won't settle in the moses basket reliably - we always try it as he has done a few times, but mostly he needs to be with us (he's 6wks). He'll feed to sleep and then comfort suck for a bit and then sleep really well, on his side next to me. he's on one side of me, and DH is on the other side. He generally sleeps from about 8-11 downstairs, then we go to bed, and he has another feed, then sleeps till 4, then wakes again at 6 or 7, so we all get lots of nice sleep this way.