Anyone else weaning 18 month old from breastfeeding and want to handhold?

[April09]

Hey there ladies,

I am looking for anyone who is in a similar situation to hand-hold. I have one DD who is 18 months. I have BF her from birth on demand but have now decided the time has come to wean. Part of me would love to do the whole child-led weaning thing but on the other hand I think I have had enough and would like to stop.

However I want to follow the La Leche League 'weaning gradually with love' approach so have set January time as my target to stop completely.

Don't really know anyone in RL who has fed as long so am lacking support. Any advice or help greatly appreciated.
x

Bump

I might be thinking about it in January but not ready yet.

What does the LLL technique involve?

I fed by DD1 till she was 18 months and I had been slowly weaning her from about 14 months I had DD2 when DD1 was 17 months and didn't want to tandem feed - as it was I tandem feed for 4 weeks as I had only managed to drop down to 1 night feed and 1 morning feed for DD1 when DD2 was born (I caused problems in the maternity unit at the hospital as I had a few problems with DD2s birth so had to be kept in over night and insited they allowed DD1 in outside of visiting hours to stick to her feeding routine!) I weaned gradually down from umpteen feeds a day dropping one feed at a time and I didn't have too many problems. The easy feeds to drop were the daytime ones - the hard ones were the night time and nap time feed. I honestly didn't know how to get her to sleep without breastfeeding .
In terms of advice it is having the patience to drop feeds gradually and not to try to go too fast. And don't be disheartened by setbacks - I remember when I just dropped DD1 down to 2 feeds a day and 3 feeds a night and she got an ear infection, refused solids for about 2 days and went back to feeding umpteen times. However, she naturally went back to the pattern I had established once she was back on her feet. Make sure you include lots of mummy cuddle time as a replacement for feeds. And dress so your breasts are inacessable - at 14 months my DD1 could unhook my bra and help herself.
Finally, don't be afraid to use bribery. The hardest feed to drop for me was the going to bed feed and I finally dropped it by saying that if she went to sleep without mummy milk she could have chocolate for breakfast. After a week, she was used to not have a sleep time feed and I gradually dropped the chocolate.
Hope this helps and good luck

Bosomforapillow - hello. I am not sure it is a technique as such but is just about taking weaning slowly and at the child's pace and not going cold-turkey or rushing it or anything like that as they say it is a 'breastfeeding relationship' between you both and could damage the child emotionally if you withdraw too quickly etc....

I think I will still be at it in January! So give me a shout!

Parrot - thanks for the advice. I am worried about the middle of night feeds the most as currently DD cosleeps so she is used to latching on at night to get back to sleep so I can forsee lots of sleepless nights ahead when we tackle that. Daytime will just be distraction distraction distraction and naps might be tough but should not be too bad.....ughh.....not looking forward to this. In many ways I wish I could let her decide but I really feel like I have had enough now.

My dd is now 12 months and now intend to gradually wean her. Tackling daytime first. For the past couple of weeks I have only been feeding her a couple of times in the day, which she has been fine with. I have also introduced a mid-afternoon snack . I have also been giving her a cup of cows milk after breakfast, of which she is drinking about an ounce. She is fine going to sleep during the day without having milk. I think it will just be the night time feeds that will be tricky. Think it will be some time before she is night weaned though.

My son is 18 months and I do want to wean him off breastfeeding but have no idea how to do it and would like to join you on here. I feed him in the night (he STILL wakes at about 3/4 am) then again in the morning when he seems absolutely despaerate for it and then at nap time at lunch(if I am at home) I tried to stop feeding him at night this week as I had two nights when I had to go out at 6pm and couldn't do it. He took milk in a cup and went to bed without trouble but I noticed that he woke even earlier those two times and seemed even more manic for his milk in the morning. Any ideas what I am supposed to do? I have fed him tonight as I wasn't tired or rushing about but I do think I have had enough really. Any advice would be very gratefully accepted!

Hello, just stumbling in.. have just ended BF my 21 month old. Gradual weaning didn't really do much, and for us it ended all quite naturally after I was away for 4 days last month. She didn't really look for it while I was away, although first thing she did when I got back was dive under my top

After that we only really had a couple of feeds, as I was keen not to re-establish feeding to sleep, and she was very easily distracted during the day

I found it really helped to have someone else dealing with night wakings & although I understand that a few days away is not everyone's cup of tea it did help break the feed & sleep cycle. What also helped is that we finally had her recurring ear infections under control - which I think was a key reason that she had so many wakings & spent much of the night in our bed

3 weeks on I feel a little sad that we're done now... so my only other bit of advice would be to only stop if you're no longer enjoying it, not because somehow you feel you have to. Although I had fab support from my family, I do think my DP and mum breathed a little sigh of relief... and secretly I'm a bit put out it all ended with a whimper, when really I should have been handed a great big medal & a massive box of chocolates

good luck all...

I will watch with interest. DS is nearly 14 months, and when he is at nursery full time he is down to 2 feeds a day. However, on weekends, despite trying to stick to twice a day, he is constantly at me, pulling on my top and screaming if I don't get 'em out.

Sometimes distracting him with a cup of water will work, but only if he is genuinely just thirsty and doesn't care what the drink is.

At what point do you think they understand enough to reason with them about it? (and by reasoning, I mean offering bribes)

Well as my son can now say 'more' and 'all gone' and 'boobies', I have tried to say (if he wants to feed again mid-morning say) 'No more, boobies all gone'. No idea if he understands but I'm going to try and keep saying it when he is looking for 'for the sake of it feeds' other than the two/three I still normally give him.

I bf ds2 till 13 months. I had intended to go slowly, but once I started dropping feeds, actually it went quite quickly after that.

He was used to drinking some (hypoallergenic formula) from a cup from about 9 months on, but once we decided definatively to switch, he was weaned in about a month. All done at his pace.

Good luck.

Thanks. DH has been putting him to bed and he's been having hot milk at 5 and then at 7. He tried to get me to feed him tonight but I said 'all gone'. Not sure how this will affect his night wakings and if he will be desperate in the morning. It didn't help that we went away this weekend in a youth hostel so I had to put him on my boob to keep him from waking everyone! I'm going to try him with hot milk in the morning...

How's evryone else getting on?

Hi. From what I can remember about the La Leche advice, I think our leader said 'don't offer and don't refuse' feeds when trying to wean. So your child should then gradually and gently self-wean. No engorgement issues for you and no distress to them. But if you've really had enough you may need something less gentle! I am feeding my 11month old DD as we speak and breastfed my DS til he was 2.3 and I think I will miss it when DD weans. Good luck.

Thanks oohisthataflake I have started to think maybe I should opt for child-led and do don't offer don't refuse. I think I could handle her weaning at say 2.3. What scares we though is if she wants to carry on until she is 5. I have nothing against people who feed for longer but I think 2.6 would be my absolute upper limit.

Very interesting thread. I've been looking for a solution as I'm going on a training course in early December and will be away for two nights.

DS is 19 months now and still BF at night - firstly to get to sleep when he goes to bed and then during the night 2 or 3 times (some of these, though, are comfort/habit, rather than feeding). We co-sleep too, which doesn't help. Perhaps I should invest in a t-shirt to wear to bed as a starting point!

I had planned to completely stop at 1 year, but here I am...[hsmile]

Hi Ishtar, I have spent two nights away from DD since she was born. One night at a time rather than two together and my DH did manage. She woke quite a bit but he managed to cuddle her/console her back to sleep (eventually). It is doable - but whoever is looking after your DS will just need to prepare themselves for a rough night and maybe be pleasantly surprised...

I too never expected to be feeding this long - we had a troubled start to BF - but here we are like you say. I just don't want to end what has been a wonderful experience badly - I think I am going to try the child-led approach with some gentle nudging towards weaning and see how we get on.

Thanks April09 - that's quite reassuring. I'll let DH know that it might be a bit challenging - although he says it'll probably be OK as DS 'forgets' I'm gone when I go out for a couple of hours!

I've got a few weeks before I go, so I will ease DS into it gently...love the idea of the child-led approach.

I've got a contingency plan, though, as he will take milk from a cup, so I can express and store it for him if necessary.